part two of something, i think

you may recall somewhere near the pause (cuz there are no ends in babble, really, and just one end in life, ya know?... but that's besides the point {already?} and oh shutup peanut gallery lol lam) i wrote something like there were so many things on my mind when i first came here and one of the things i was referring to was this...

so i turn around and see a crowd gathering and ask why are you following me? and laugh as i hear dory singing in the background (there is always background music in my head, how about yours?) and it's not that i am down, i am just juggling more balls than is wise and at the moment a very inconvenient cold bug has set my immune system off and the sniffles are annoying and the body really needs to de-stress and rest (so what am i doing awake at this hour {nearing 2am here} when i was awake last night past 6am playing ncaa football and was at my desk at work at 8am {ish} today?... like i am going to take questions like that seriously, right lol lam gonna be lots of lol lam it seems, aye?)...

you know what lol means, if you don't know what lam means, just ask... or lay, for that matter... (shhhh, don't fret, you don't have to actually acknowledge you are out there reading by leaving a comment, i'll tell ya... lam is laugh at myself or laughing at myself and lay is laugh or laughing at yourself, ok?... so lay and lam and laa {laughing at all, which is more fun than lae [laughing at everything] cuz everything is not always all [oh, getting metaphysical philosphy on us, are we?] and besides, laa leads to la la la which is singing and skipping off to play along many paths simultaneously and if i go any further we'll be multitracking and that is not resting, sheesh, and all that jazz)... it's very healthy, so do it and don't mind the head spinning...

the following me reference leads to the discovery that the blogger dashboard tells me there are now sixteen people (even though only fourteen show up when i click on the link... blogger glitches are puzzling or two people are missing in action {or hiding?... s'ok, you are welcome here} and that is a little sad like all missed connections for me) following this blog (and yeah, that amazes me)... i wonder if that changes anything i do here... omigish, self-consciousness? (insert some psychobabble)... we change everything just by observing, right? (insert some philosophy of physics)... i am thirsty and too lazy to get up and get something to drink, but that's besides the point too, isn't it?...

i suppose not (which has many references that will be left for another time as i was not intended to be here tonight and have sleep to get to {right, who am i kidding?... surely the cold bugs are laughing at me now... and drooling a little... runny nose, cold bugs drooling, get it?... oh never mind} and ncaa football is calling and i am thirsty, dangit {must be all those herbal medicines i took an hour or so ago when i woke from my four hour nap} and where did this parentheses start, anyway?... i mean, in case it matters)...

something just flashed through my head and left before the words formed... love and hate those moments... probably the difference between genius and everybody else is the geniuses actually form words out of those flashes... yeah, there's something to consider next time you feel a flash coming on... and i don't mean menopause or running around naked or suddenly dropping your trenchcoat and dancing with a bunch of strangers in a public place, either... i used to be a genius, then i started experimenting with drugs... actually, for the mass audience, i used to be a genius, but then i started drinking and that straightened me out... or was that for the blue collar comedy tour audience... anyway, they have their own writers, i will just keep swimming...

drinking, seems to be a theme here... ok, i am going to pick the laptop off my lap, set it aside, and fill a water bottle (which means moving some dishes out of the sink cuz they are soaking there and if i am too lazy to get up and get a drink i am surely too lazy to do dishes tonight... hey, at least there are no dishes from last year laying around... i think... i am definitely laughing at myself a little too much for my own good at the moment... maybe i am delirious... anybody got a thermometer?... oral, preferably...

no really, i had no intention of babbling tonight… i let this body fall asleep around eight thirty and wouldn’t you know, the four hour cycle was up and sure enough the sniffles woke me so i went to the bathroom and started searching for Echinacea and vitamins and garlic and all sorts of home remedies and that lead me to find t shirts and other stuff (cuz half my world is still in boxes cuz there’s not enough space {or is that not enough time… ummm, laziness?... perhaps all of the above} to unpack it all) and that got me all excited and then i had to go potty and took the laptop (cuz some days that’s the only time left for writing, even if that is tmi) and found a post in a private blog an old soulmate and i still share and started responding and out came the babbler and an hour (or is it two?) later, here we are…

wherever this may be...

water, yes, drink, brb…

brb may be the most famous of all famous last words… and they aren’t even words, i know (anagram haters lol)… especially for the add babbling fool, brb so often means hours or days pass before i return cuz there are just so many cool distractions to be found when i step away from the keyboard for just a moment to get a drink or do whatever… it was just a few minutes this time, which may be even more amazing than the other amazing things i never got back to in the last entry (or this one, for that matter)…

i was too lazy to make water, so i drank more grapefruit juice… and then i thought about it and decided, in spite of wondering just how so many dishes piled up in the short times since jackson was down here and i had the kitchen and apartment almost clean, i filled a bottle of smart water… that is, i filled an empty smart water bottle with filtered tap water… yes, the filter is on the tap… a little less poison, as if it matters (it does, i believe it, so i do it, especially since i drink gallons of water a day, but that’s besides the point and way too serious for this moment, really, as i was just trying to babble myself to sleep)… i like using smart water bottles cuz semantically (and practically, i suppose, but who likes practical?) it amuses me to realize that i might have bought smart water once upon a time but i am actually drinking smarter water now cuz it’s free… smart phones and smart water, all part of the continuing saga of the dumbing down of our civilization… go ahead, smart water aficionados, sell me on the benefits of your product… if i want electrolytes i’ll stick a paper clip into a wall outlet…

wow, that was quite neaderthal of me, wasn’t it?... blame it on the cold bugs, they’ve been around since before the stone age, after all… oh, and no offence to the commercial neaderthal guy, i mean, he has a hard enough time competing with a gecko, this little piggy, and not to mention being abused by his friend brian, he doesn’t need more grief… ever think about how many switches you switch on and off any given day?... i mean, any one of those switched, light switches, car ignitions, computers, tvs, radios, on and on and on, any one of those switches could short out and blow up the world by setting off a chain reaction through the wires all the way to every nuclear power plant and… ok, so maybe not the world, how about you?... you don’t want to blow up, do you?... ummmmm, ok, so maybe just a little shock, but still, so many times a day you could be shocked, just something to think about…

so many things to think about, no wonder we have billions of brain cells… mine apparently all work independently from each other, but that's beside the point, or is it?...

ever notice how some thoughts just seem to hang there?...

so, my wise and wonderful bevy of followers and lurkers and readers, silent or not, how are you on this brisk 40 degree night?... it was 35 degrees last night… did i mention recently that i live in florida for the tropical heat? (that’s right, orlando, florida, home of the mouse that supposedly innocent fantasy and your support of corporate greed built and many other imaginary escapes, including the latest, pottermore, and yes i put my contact info right out there {see side bar} cuz it’s a small world, after all, but we were talking about the weather, weren’t we?)... s’ok, i love the ever so brief two week winter we get here… it reminds me why i moved down from the great white north :)

so seriously though, how are you?...

yes, i do want to know… and thank you for telling me (in advance if you haven’t already, and in the now if you have cuz you know i am terrible at checking email, but i do usually respond to texts and comments pretty promptly, as in not during board meetings or games or when i am otherwise occupied {occupied… are you occupied yet?... we all should be and hopefully will be sooner or later, though not like invasion of the body snatchers, i mean, i hope, but that’s another long and serious winding road for another time], but pretty promptly… i forgot i had a twitter account for a few weeks, actually… and stopped checking in at facebook regularly… but i do almost always have my phone so texts {and calls, i mean, remember actually talking on the phone?} do get my almost immediate attention if you want to communicate)…

i was thanking you, wasn’t?... no really, i was… dang parentheses can be so distracting, ya know?... i love them though, as any good babbler should… not that i am claiming to be a good babbler, even bad babblers love parentheses... even more, no doubt… i really am happy to imagine you are actually reading even if i (modestly, of course) ponder what worth any of these random thoughts might have in your world… you do have a world, you know, and i have no plans on invading it, in case you wondered, but i welcome you to share a bit now and then… see, it’s not just ego strokes and tell me why you love me i am asking for (and of course i would not want nude photos, right?... ah, wouldn’t want to stay serious for more than a few lines, now would we?), i am (in spite of my teasing) genuinely interested in why you are here (reading and in this world, which are probably two very different reasons cuz if you are in this world just to read me, well, where have you been all my life and why aren’t we married with kids or on tv or something like that… i suppose trying to be serious is a losing cause tonight… shoulda known with all the lols and lams and laas that started this babble... not to mention the cold bug) and who you are…

and with that request for your dirty laundry (i so did not ask what you were wearing the last time you had a wet dream or nightgasm or whatever, no i did not… i think i may do this just to see if anyone is actually reading… or is it to weed out the old farts with small minds and limited senses of humor {did my followers list just shrink? lol… oh dear, now you may see why i am amazed i even have one follower} which is altogether possible… what can i say, i love monty python, benny hill, robin williams, steve martin, matt groening {though i think he spelled his name wrong}, seth macfarlane, trey parker and matt stone {they just have to be listed as a couple i suppose, and the writers of the animaniacs, of course), groucho marx, and the most irreverent intelligent test your wits and more, test your tolerance humor most of all… did i mention lenny bruce and george carlin?... hey, and you thought harry chapin was my only personal hero?... how little you really know me, aye?... have you found the perversions blog yet?... and now for something completely different lol lam laa :)

hey, if nothing else at least i can amuse myself… that’s a good thing in this crazy mixed up world… i hope you find some amusement within you and around you (cuz it’s there, we just need to be open to it… focus, grasshopper, and sing… wait, the world might not be ready for my cartoon madness version of phantom of the opera starring wacko warner {did the animaniacs ever do phantom?... oh no, don’t go off on another tangent now… did i mention i love theanimaniacs lately?)…

hours later, i forgot why i was here after getting lost in browsing the internet to answer some of the questions i left here to answer… isn’t it always like that? (i know, like what?… sometimes i don’t get me either, but nevermind making sense or following a continuous line of logical thought, besides, continuity is vastly overrated, aren’t blooper shows more funny that way?... it is time to wish you a good night (since it’s way past time to wish you a happy new year i suppose, but happy new year anyway… unless, of course, you use a different calendar than most of the world and in that case, happy new year anyway… oh, yeah, kinda the same thing, huh?... well, happy new year anyway)… take care of yourself and thanks for being in the world (or for being out of this world, whichever comes first)…

nite nite :)

once again, amazed

not by the date though it might amaze me and others to make the connection that i am here today (and not just cuz so many think i ought to be out riding a sleigh at the moment… shhhh, we don’t give away secrets in the first parenthetic aside, remember?), though it's not about today, it's that i am gifting myself home this weekend as in making myself at home this weekend, something i haven't made time to do in many weekends... i am in the process of deep cleaning (sort of) and rearranging the living space (not to mention doing a ton of laundry) cuz my roommate is coming back after moving out of state for the last six months or so (she just couldn't stay away, i'm just that irresistible... ah, doesn't ego love to make everything everybody else does all about me... good job, ego... i mean, that is ego's job, after all... my job is not to believe everything ego says {and luckily i don't, but i do love taking laughing at the egocentrism seriously} and luckily i renewed the lease on this two bedroom place the day before she told me she was coming back, which is further along the path of coincidence of timing that may or may not be coincidence, though there's no real proof that there is anything else, but that's besides the point {if there is a point} and why not, this is where the babble happens after all), which will take a few days (the deep cleaning re-arranging thing i mentioned before the parenthetic rambling), and because of that (you following this yet?) i turned on the tv and the shows i found will likely influence this bit of babble tonight...

and so this is xmas, aye?... miss john… miss music… miss so many things, especially the sharing… but all the missing aside, i done good :)

as in and what have you done? (besides the another year older bit, ya know?) in case you didn’t follow that that (as opposed to the that that came before that that)… done good for the year, for the weekend so far, for the life… feeling better than ever about life, the universe, and everything and me too, which is really good considering the best of the physical experiences may be past (or passed) cuz a body does age and my sub-3 hour marathon days are probably gone cuz i don’t think i’m gonna motivate myself to work that hard anymore, but don’t be sad cuz two out of three ain’t bad, ya know, which is neither here nor there nor much to do with nothing or any other reference cuz i am losing whatever train of thought there might have been already (blame ncis if you must know) and i don’t want to drift into the wondrous stories on tv (not to mention ncis, of course, since there’s a xmas marathon going on… oh, i suppose it is a bit late for that, this that, that is)…

right, so this life continues and today was filled with long overdue work around the living spaces, laundry, unpacking, packing, cleaning, and rearranging stuff (and some cooking) cuz it is time to do what i've been putting off for weeks (and i forgot to mention the football on tv was keeping me company for a while before the movies and ncis offered more distraction rather than the xbox game occupying the body and mind... i decided to stay with the football as long as it lasted cuz if i turned on one of the many movies (it's a wonderful life, the sound of music, forrest gump, miracle on 34th st, a christmas story, the fifth element {every one a favorite, four all-time favorites... i'll let you guess which those are} and other stuff, but luckily tv does suck and torturous hatchet job on movies i don't feel i am missing any movies when they are on tv cuz when i do watch if the editing does not turn my stomach, the commercials ruin the movie experience... but still, love those movies and really ought to watch some more often and wish i had another movie loving friend to share the couch {and theatres} and that's what turning on the tv for the first time in weeks brought to mind today) i might not continue doing the house work, ya know?...


yup, the tv is on (ncis) which was just interrupted by wwe which really turns me off so i switched channels and what do i find (not eight tiny reindeer, though it's about that time, aye?), but you've got mail (another all-time favorite, though i love sleepless in seattle more... where are you movie partner?... sigh... or meg ryan, for that matter :)

lots getting done around here... laundry down to just a couple of loads of towels and bedding stuff and the kitchen is half sparkly and more than half the stuff has been put away (even folded and hung up the clothes, yeah, even the socks and underwear)... lit candles and incense and spent a comfy night at home (actually making it homey-ish) for the first time in a long long time... putting stuff away and cleaning up is kinda like moving in and starting over and that's a wonderful and exciting feeling... also a little lonely, but not so much tonight cuz it's been so long since i did it :)

i love this movie lol :)

and the writer says: be, for that matter… and speaking of (or at least i was a few paragraphs ago) living spaces and living partners and roommates and sharing, i offer the following three sided coincidence for you to toss about as we ponder the meaning of sharing, May, December, and missing teeth (cuz for a while there i was pounding away at keeping track of everything i was writing daily and then for the last few months i slipped through the cracks a lot or at least i let the keeping track of the writing do that… and perhaps the few links out of the hundreds hundreds and thousands of pages i stick like post-it notes on this internet refrigerator door each month actually mean something to you (or me, for that matter) and perhaps they are not as random as they seem (to me most of the time), for there may be no coincidences after all (and there’s no place like home, ya know… yeah, i love that movie too)…

and now, now (at least for the moment)...

and the fact that you are out there, readers and followers, that amazes me too... how can i say thank you so that it moves you as much as it moves me to know you are there?... not just a rhetorical question, but kinda leans that way, i know... i want to find more time to read you... and by read you i do not mean anything we can't tell our mothers, ok? (oh there i go being irreverent and did you know that 82% of the world is offended by irreverence and the rest just don't get it?... especially when it comes to sex, drugs, rock and roll, politics, religion, life, death, and all the ways people mame, torture, and kill each other... not to mention dental hygiene, or genital, for that matter... i mean, would you be offended if i ask how often you brush?... can i watch?)... the statistical analysis may have been a bit flawed, but it's amazing how many people are offended by my simple teasing... i hope you won't be, i mean no harm, and if my hand slipped up your dress it was just an accident, really it was... unless, of course, you wanted it there... but then, of course (again), if you sat on my hand by mistake, i forgive you too...

if you are not laughing then you really need to loosen up (i mean, these are words on the internet, after all... a simple distraction from whatever you were doing before you started reading, like playing your xbox, ya know? :)

there were so many things on my mind when i first came here and some of them might still be there and some may have found their way into this bit of babble and i may be back to add a bit at some future date (which may drive the critics crazy, but then, oh, i'll leave those dots for you to connect), but life has been so busy with work and with fun offline of late that i barely can keep track of the date and time when i want to, no less spend the hours writing about it that i do so love to do too… i hope to be back to write more here (there and everywhere) soon… i do miss you… and i do miss the writing (for whatever worth the words may be to you or anyone else, they are a blessingto me… and yes, it is that simple (or at least i am, beneath the layers of complexity, that is)…

make today a gift for yourself by recognizing that it is…

m’ok? :)

so i look at the blogger dashboard that lists all my many blogs (59 now, i think, that i either created {most of them} or was invited to be part of, including a few private ones... most of the not private ones can be found via my profile(s) here, in case you wondered) and i find i have followers and the last count i have 13 followers (thank you lucky number 13) and i shall admit that i love the idea that anyone might be in the least bit interested in anything i might babble on about (or actually experience in RealTime(TM) in this life i live {or used to live, since this blog is not actually updated all that often due to time constrants as explained a long time ago when it's brief daily update blog known as (e)thereal was created or invented or initiated or birthed, as the case may be and depending on perspective or whatever whatever whatever as you may already know, but all this parenthetic aside aside, i am still here when i can fit in the time and still [as you may have noticed] love to babble on several tracks simultaneiously [within parentheses within parentheses and so on], beside the points and all] offline) or even maybe somebody might actually care and want to connect in RealTime(TM) offline (the telephone for texting or calling is somewhere on the sidebar, though please be aware that i almost never {cuz there is no never, relatively speaking} actually answer a number i am not familiar with unless a voicemail identifies the caller {that would be you} and then i happilly answer next time and may even call back {which is rare for so many valid and delusional reasons we can review next time you call) and maybe even all these words will lead to the one cuz even now as i so seldom indulge the heartstrings and dreams they remain alive and well, relatively ok, and do burst forth in rhyme and song a few times a month, approximately, as time is relative (which you may have read somewhere before or even believe and understand from your own unique experience and perspective, which would be cool to explore and share), but this (and that) is beside the point that i may have lost somewhere in translation or babble cuz while i so love the fact that you are following and lover you for choosing to, i must admit with a smile and genine humility (ego fainted) and honest love that i hear a voice in my head quite innocently and sincerely asking, "why in the world are they following me?, for giggles sake"...

feel free to answer, respond even, if you followed any of that or simply caught the question near the ent of the paragraph...

i have to be up in 4 hours to head into work to decorate the haunted hallway for the kids (one more time for the kids in the hospital, thank you harry) who are due through in just under 9 hours and i slept only two hours last night and played softball and hung out in the hot sun and ran around looking for halloween stuff for the kids and then for clothes for me to wear at the david sedaris show tonight that a dear beautiful friend is taking me to (one day maybe we'll have wild passionate sex and risk blowing the beautiful friendship, but until then lust is a playful tease in my mind and who knows what's going on in hers, but i may have digressed again) and then dinner with her and the show and home and some ncaa college football recruiting between weeks 7 and 8 (ea sports video game reference, in case you are getting more lost than you were before, cuz you know, it's in the game cha cha cha) and then catch up on a few emails and blog checking (dashboard, which brings us here) and writing five or so blog entries in five or so of the blogs (not counting this one) and then, there is now and we are here and i am remembering that i have to be up in 4 hours to head into work to decorate the haunted hallway for the kids (one more time for the kids in the hospital, thank you harry) who are due through in just under 9 hours and i slept only two hours last night and played softball and hung out in the hot sun and ran around looking for halloween stuff for the kids and then for clothes for me to wear at the david sedaris show tonight that a dear beautiful friend is taking me to (one day maybe we'll have wild passionate sex and risk blowing the beautiful friendship, but until then lust is a playful tease in my mind and who knows what's going on in hers, but i may have digressed again) and then dinner with her and the show and home and some ncaa college football recruiting between weeks 7 and 8 (ea sports video game reference, in case you are getting more lost than you were before, cuz you know, it's in the game cha cha cha) and then catch up on a few emails and blog checking (dashboard, which brings us here) and writing five or so blog entries in five or so of the blogs (not counting this one) and then, there is now and we are here and i am remembering that i have to be up in 4 hours to head into work to decorate the haunted hallway for the kids (one more time for the kids in the hospital, thank you harry) who are due through in just under 9 hours and i slept only two hours last night and played softball and hung out in the hot sun and ran around looking for halloween stuff for the kids and then for clothes for me to wear at the david sedaris show tonight that a dear beautiful friend is taking me to (one day maybe we'll have wild passionate sex and risk blowing the beautiful friendship, but until then lust is a playful tease in my mind and who knows what's going on in hers, but i may have digressed again) and then dinner with her and the show and home and some ncaa college football recruiting between weeks 7 and 8 (ea sports video game reference, in case you are getting more lost than you were before, cuz you know, it's in the game cha cha cha) and then catch up on a few emails and blog checking (dashboard, which brings us here) and writing five or so blog entries in five or so of the blogs (not counting this one) and then, there is now and we are here and i am remembering that i have to be up in 4 hours...

we seem to be in a loop...

are you laughing because you actually read through the loop, both loops, or laughing for some other reason... laughing at me is ok, but since i am laughing too i prefer it if you are laughing with me... that isn't always the case even if we are both laughing at the same time, simultaneously, even, but it is preferable nonetheless... if you are not laughing, you may be the most bored person on the planet or a glutten for literary punishment, in which case i will let you know when the doctor gets here and you can share my session...

this will conclude this excruciatingly brief update of the RealTime(TM) broadcasting system blah blah blah blah blah (you know the speech, fill in the blanks to make is most amusing and least blah for you)... i will be back when i find more time (and sleep, heck, i don't even make time to list all the label tags each entry ought to have anymore, but i still revere the words and intend to one day... there are no perfect people, only perfect intentions, ya know?) and until then, all babbling and joking and teasing and kidding aside and most seriously of all . . . thank you so much more than any words can say for being out there and for any interest in me you might have and even more, thank you even more for any caring you may feel...

i shall fall asleep smiling now, may you be smiling too :)

catching up with myself

with some influence from the followers (finding even more than last time so yay, i think), but mostly an introspective pondering (maybe even search) of reasons (and rhymes?... we shall see) and what-not for the continued habit of writing daily and then some (what?... oh, and then some, right) in this blogging life (what?... oh yeah, this blogging life, sorta, maybe more like these blogging lives, aye?) in the brief place (already linked, you don’t need another, do you?) and found the babbling engine revving up thanks to an impromptu beautiful morning and a very rare day off with nothing much planned (first one all year i think) yesterday that allowed two consecutive days of sleeping in (though still sleeping in segments and not in long stretches, but that’s the habit the brain and body have gotten into over the last few years for better or worse) so except for the occasional exceptional play (college football on background tv) and odd fact (like did you know peggy is actually a high school algebra teacher in real life (i know, what’s real life anyway, but that’s besides the point, and Tudor Petrut is also an actor and screenplay writer and on facebook (who isn’t?) and coaches soccer and all that is about as pertinent to this entry as peggy is the the credit card industry, which is also besides the point except maybe to amuse my rabid Romanian fans, but another fine mess of an example of the odd fact i casually mentioned some lines back), i am focused (this is focused?) on whatever i was focused on before this paragraph started…

huh?... ok, so this is what was pondered that seemed to resurrect the babbler for a few moments and brought me back here for this moment:

sort of... starting with this blog... it is plugging right along approaching 2300 entries and satisfying the purpose i think i had for it when i started it, so a good feeling about it continues as i continue it and it continues me... some oddities or ironies or tid bitz, for that matter, raise an eyebrow and a smile, like this blogger dashboard that lists all of my blogger blogs (well over 50 now, yes, i know) tells me i have two followers but when i check it only shows one follower and that follower (hello if you check in here) has no posts in a blog design i like to look at (and love the title) and i have no idea if the second follower is hiding somehow or simply a figment of the blogger dashboard's imagination and then i consider that my previous incarnation for daily blogging has 11 followers (and more seem to join periodically in spite of my lack of updating there) and there is an equivalent discrepancy in actually listed followers when compared to the blogger-generated number of followers so either there is a way to hide from someone you are following here or blogger has a glitch in their counting software (or figments, at least) and then i consider that the almost 2300 posts here have a lifetime total of just over 8000 page views (with the most viewed page is the most viewed page (like by 30% more than the second most viewed page or why the most referrals came from here today, but that may be beside the point) and all those posts only have a total of 223 comments so far (considering some posts have up to a dozen comments, i’d estimate less than 1% of the entries here actually have a comment) and that suggests i have silent visitors who either happen by searching for something and/or a few regular visitors who find the literary expression of my daily life leaving them speechless (i know, it is so amazing i can barely find the words some days… right, and i am still looking for that unicorn for that commenter who wanted to buy one too and if you are not laughing with me, then please cheer up cuz life really is too short to take anything so seriously that you cannot find humor in even the worst of it… i care and will listen, seriously, so please don’t feel alone) so all this to say (or suggest) that i took a look at what i do here (in terms of writing this blog) today and why i do it and while the dream of sharing and interacting and finding friends and pleasing an audience (and fame a fortune, on a more distance sarcastic fantasy type of dream) and the one remains as strong and real as ever, the daily purpose is still to put my thoughts, feeling, experiences, and activities into words so i can remember and evaluate and record them for myself and anyone who cares or who may someday care (and posterity, good ol’ posterity) and in the end, to catch up with myself…

yes, so it is agreed as you know as well as i that i love the rare introspective moments and what better way to turn a beautiful morning into a wonderful day...

and how are you? :)

meanwhile, the left side of my neck has been cramping on and off of late, at least iit may be cramps, muscular, that is… hopefully it is not circulation related, like something clogging up, or glandular, or some sort of tumor… what?... oh who knows when i am serious, all i know is the neck has been cramping up more lately and i really ought to change the patterns as it could be related to the fact that i spend way too many hours sitting at my desk extending my right arm to move the mouse while sitting up and back to type and repeat and carpel tunnel could be it too… posture is everything and needs flexibility and variation, after all… arthritis or some old age disease?... what are you, an alarmist?... some doctor you’d be…

then there are all the links, that is, the web wandering i do in the wee hours of the sleepiness that leads to (randomly snatching the latest slice of life from the wanderng) this girl in progress who is probably not the one and i have no clue whether libbo would want her, which is completely irrelevant and mostly irreverent so why not pervert the construction of this meandering entry by making an arbitrary connection to the next page i stumbled upon for young adult sci-fi cuz sci-fi ought to start in the womb (doesn’t it?) just like sex (what?... expensive nostalgia couldn’t distract you from the shock of the moo, could it?)… but seriously (which is not what the cow said, so just relax and don’t let your moral indignation get your panties in a bunch) cuz the fact is you are exactly where you need to be the moment you realize you are exactly where you need to be (you don’t believe me?... look it up why don’tcha) and maybe you‘ll find some realizations or explanations or sense in mugsi , but i really wish gothic jello would come over so we could say hello and discuss something like why we are connected and cuz i like connections even in the books of adam which amuse the something or other cuz if you are so in-klined we might find some sort of purpose or meaning or cohesion that is not meaningless pr even madness cuz that is exactly what we need, ya know?...

so what i was saying before the stiff neck web browsing (or was it rabid libido irreverence?) unintentionally interrupted (or was it heading out to play games with friends in the pouring rain?... so many distractions and activities and outside influences, is it any wonder nobody finds me anymore or more to the point, why i don’t even take the time to find myself… if only somebody came over and wanted to, aye?), the dailies (which will be ever changing as the entries go slipping slipping slipping into the future, or sliding, even) continue for the momentary record even as i skip like a stone over the puddles and ponds of the rat race rush of the working life (maybe if i wasn’t playing in five softball leagues and regular tournaments and 5k races every week i might have a few moments to actually catch my breath and be back in touch with the babbling fool who always knew what was going on inside and out so well that i could ramble on ridiculously as if i had no clue about this that or anything else for that matter kind of like i might be doing here or was that the last few paragraphs, but there was some sort of point to all this, really, even as i seem to be testing your patience and the synaptic abilities of your cranial matter beyond the limits i usually do (and would you have me stroke your egos and kjss your bottom every time?... your answer reflects more on you than you know, in case you didn’t realize it was a trap, much like the last seventy gazillion entries, but you don’t have to tell anybody if you want to stay and belong in the special circle of TheReal™ cha cha cha)…

could be i am finally learning how to be human, huh?

the bottom line (ha, as if we’ve been anywhere near the bottom line for the last twenty years… global warming has fogged up our brains, economic manipulation by the elitist power structure has blinded us to any semblance of what’s going on in spite of marvin’s song or the haunting refrain of something happening here cuz the answer blew right by us in the winds of change {just ask princess stephanie if she remembers after the assimulation back into the royal subtrifuge}… i wish janis was still around to give another little piece of her heart and if you only understood what dan was telling you, you might finally become part of the plan in your own consciousness and realize what amy said and meant) just might be that i have not carved out time for myself in way too long so all the weird and wonderful babbling has been silence, dormant, waiting for the public outcry for the inner song to be sung again…

or maybe it’s just the foolishness of choosing the luxury over the street and the security over the freedom that leaves no time for the story in her eyes from the purest ecstasy to the moody blues… i would have liked to have known her, and him too, and you, really, you, dear reader, what do you feel right now and would you share it with me (you don’t even have to know who buffalo springfield is, you can still feel the spill canvas and hope that someday the emo reaches beyond the personal whining and poor=me pity parties and dares to stand up and shake the world with the quest for the truth once again (cuz the truth is out there if you want to believe… you can either share it or ignore it, either way you work yourself to death)…

sad we don’t share more, but don’t let depression apathy ambivalence, pathetic indignant ignorance, or irrational virtually incomprehensible anger be the zeitgeist of your generation (and please be more than a video game junkie, really, cuz that is what they want cuz it makes you easier to control, you know?), find your voice and speak your mind, sing your heart out, and become who you are…

maybe i’ll catch up with myself next time…

such a tease (narf and all)…

.

.

.


doesn’t seem finished, does it?...

the excitement of finding followers (and then some)

the fun of finding followers felt more alliterative, but the title wished to emphasize the excitement even more (and excitement is a higher energy level of fun, in case you weren’t putting fun through any analysis or thinking as much as i do about semantics and words and what words mean and how words mean different things in different contexts and situations and experiences and moments and welcome back my friends to the show that only seems to end now and end but actually will most likely continue on ad infinitum as far as i can tell cuz i have no way of knowing if the babbling will continue after this body dies so it will most likely continue until this body can no longer tap on the keys which is relatively forever in this lifetime and who knows, someone just might decide that the babbling is essential to the betterment and continued existence of mankind and start the next chapter and continue and so on and so forth and Scooby dooby doo dah day-o day-o daylight come and i want a nap cuz i’m pretty nocturnal but that’s another story and certainly this parenthetic aside has gone on long enough for an opening paragraph, aye?)… and then, unexpectedly, deep into the babble an entry might take a turn, and then some, as you will see if you read this one through...

yeah, so i decided on the title you see as the title and hello :)

yes, hello everyone and hello secret santas and silent readers and hidden friends and most especially in our current moment, hello followers… wait,

hello followers! :)

yeah, that’s better… i opened my eyes and wandered around and checked in with (e)thereal (where i sort of record, summarize, delight, vent, complain, or just briefly put a few (the key word there is few, or briefly, or sort of, depending on your point of view) words together to update anyone curious or caring to know what is happening day to day, almost kinda minute by minute in this life i experience loosely as mine and then i took a look at my blogger dashboard and realized i have almost fifty blogs here at blogspot (which is the most i have anywhere… i think i only have a couple of dozen at diaryland and just a few at livejournal and just one or two at a couple of dozen other places like the onion and stumblr and xanga and wordpress and weebly and myspace and vox and facebook and twitter and youtube and meetup and mindsay and … this could go on for a while and given time, links could be attached to each one, but for now, i’ll refer you to this page for more blogs and to this entry (just the last one back in fact) for more links than you’ll probably click on tonight, or tomorrow, for that matter, so we can continue on with this entry cuz there is a point somewhere in all this babble) and scanning down the list of blogs (here at blogger, in case forgot where we were before the parenthetic aside), i found there are eight (8!) followers, yes, you dear people who have clicked on follow for this meandering blog have grown to eight (8!) and gee golly gumpdrops that’s just great :)

is it my erudite affectations for alliterative irreverence or the limber linguistic leaps casually cast into the seemingly free-form flow of words?... or perhaps it’s the self-mockery (what self-mockery) of egocentric folly?... something inspired you to click on follow and now there’s a part of my brain asking me what i did write (yeah, and what i did right too) and how do i go about not boring you or offending you so you actually stick around cuz there’s nothing sadder on the internet than when the number of strangers on your friends or followers list suddenly goes down… that really is an odd thought, but tell me it’s not true, aye?...

even as i smirk with glee at the number eight (8!) and giggle at the thought that nine would be just fine… ah, the delight of ridiculously nugatory self-importance that so well points out the historically concentric perspective of collective humanity when pondering our apparent insignificance in the scope of the universe is a frequent amusement in the park of my mind…

douglas adams too, i imagine…

but you are not numbers, people, you are people, people, yes, not just people, but my people (not that i own you or anything, by mine in the sense that you chose me and that makes you precious and special and wonderful in my mind) and i’d like to know all about you (ah, the sad sigh of not having the time to spend a day or few reading what you’ve put on the web and chatting just to be able to scratch the surface of an actual introduction and tickle the smile of believing we are worth knowing, sharing, and being cared about, aye?... feel free to join in cuz sad sighs are less sad when shared… in fact, just the thought curls the corners of the lips up toward a smile)…

so i clicked a bit and the first click too me to a big smile even though i don’t understand the words and google translate didn’t help at all the song and brief video or gif and the sense that it is a shared blog was perfectly fitting for me as i dream of romance and friends and sharing (including in blogs) on a regular basis… i think it is this lovely person (and if it is, yay and hi :) who might have made this follow connection and someday i will explore other translation softwares to see if i can made heads or tales of the words on your pages… all ego and mock self-importance aside, it is so exciting to think that there might actually be a bit of communication going on amidst all this babble…

one of the primary oddities or perhaps a better word is awkwardness of finding followers is not being sure if they have a website or blog or anything that they want me to see… could be they don’t (have anything online or want me to see or both and even more potentially miscommunicating is that i might say hello on facebook or some other site and not have the same name there {for instance, i am bugs webbot on facebook and candor on myspace and ric other places} and my friend request may be seen as creepy or at least huh? and go unanswered and that is not quite as sad as seeing the number of followers or friends go down, it is still sad)… but still, sometimes i find amusements and meaningful tears in my eyes just browsing the list of others my followers follow… for instance, here and just the title of some blogs has me giggling with gleeful admiration for the creative play of the words… to you, dear follower who lead me to these and other blogs, i am the bugs webbot who sent you the friend request on facebook, i mean, just in case you wanted to know :)

sometimes i don’t even begin to know how to segue into a kinda sort of hello to someone, especially to a stranger following me on the internet, but please don’t think i want you to go if i am more awkward or even not mentioning you… it’s just that when there is no specific blog connected to you to read and no other form of contact or reference, i have no clue where to begin except to say hello and welcome and thanks for finding something that inspires you to click follow and i hope i don’t do anything to change your mind… so many blogs to choose from, wish i had more time…

and some of you i know from previous contact and so appreciate your words and the peak into your head and heart and life that you provide on the internet… sometimes we let time pass between contacts, sometimes someone seems to disappear, but your contact is always a wonderful smile and welcome, even when there is sadness or frustration or challenges to share… i can only hope my words bring a bit of positivity, maybe even a thought worth thinking, into your world…

and sometimes i stop into your blog and find i wish i could actually do something to help you smile cuz i want happiness and fulfillment and joy and feel sad when there is sadness in this world and i have no clue unless i find time to read back (and sometimes the source of the sadness is not even there) and sometimes it’s like a brick in the face and all i can do is say, love… i offer love…

. . .

out of respect, silence… and yet, i am not one to follow social norms so i present the puzzle to my mind and choose to continue in the hope that i might somehow offer distraction or amusement or maybe even some sort of cosmic coincidence that feels like something like a positive and meaningful light at the end of a long dark tunnel that only time and healing and lemonade can bring… and i think of my friend who lost a baby about six years ago and how devastating that was that all the questions and guilt and depression that followed and she moved away and started a new life and challenged her body and the universe again with another pregnancy and just last month she moved back and introduced to her healthy adorable four year old boy and he is so much more precious and appreciated and loved because his sister, who had a name and was just a couple of weeks away from normal term and independent life, did not make it into this world… though she did not make it into this world, she enriched many lives and blessed a family and friends with a much deeper and everlasting understanding of how precious and fragile and beautiful life is and for that, she lives and has great power and meaning…

this may not be the time to embrace this understanding, but it is true for my friends and me and many others who felt the loss and this is how i respect her and you and any who have known the loss of a child before or after birth… wasn’t planning on taking this babbling in this direction, but isn’t that exactly the point of this entry, that following, connecting, reading and sharing our lives on the internet (or in any way) brings us to a greater epiphany and richer tapestry so no matter how many times i become frustrated with life, no matter how many times relationships fail or misunderstandings hurt or people let me down, i must remember that continuing to share is as important as continuing to breathe, for only by continuing can we actualize the hope that our dreams will come true…

and in the end, when we make the best of it, it all works out for the best…

thank you for being here :)

this will be brief

well, brief when compared to the plethora of babbling entries that make up this TheReal™ blog that was once the repository of the loose ends and scattered pages of novels never written and stories never told (not to mention experiences not even imagined, no less lived) floating around in the vacuum that might loosely be called my brain, even as the basis for this blog was the actual experience of life (as in TheReal™ if you haven’t grabbed that bit of namedropping reference just yet)… the babbler sleeps peacefully, though sometimes restlessly, much like libido and other non-income producing aspects of the person that may be called me cuz the modern world is demanding i actually pay for survival and i’ve attached a few people to the budget that creates the need for more income producing hours and less time for the rest…

what i mean, is, time time time has not been on the babbler’s side in recent years and this sleepy writing place demonstrates that better than i could ever explain it, but explain we must, perhaps, or something like that…

of course i will point you the (e)thereal cuz that is where the babble went and turned into some form of brevity that focuses most primarily on the daily events of this life that i experience in Realtime™ in part cuz i leave myself less time to write than i used to because i am working a lot more than i used to and i am occupying my time offline with other things (what, me write less?), but i do still babble on in so many ways, in bits and pieces and if i had the time i would link dozens of these words quite haphazardly to give you the chance to click on some of the various bits and pieces that make up the so many ways just mentioned…

instead, i shall present to you the almost completely random except for the coincidence of chronology if we are to believe in the timeline for a moment or few the past few weeks of ramblings in this paragraph of linkage that will fit right in here in this babbling place because it will likely make little or no sense (any sense made is purely coincidental, unless you believe in my genius, naturally)… you can, if you really want to know or really want to care about me, click on any or all of the words and they will take you to any of many dozens (no exaggeration) of writing places on the web where i leave some bit and pieces for your edification and viewing pleasure…

i might have done this when i was more awake and to that end i shall plant the reminder in my head to try to find a break in the storms so i can bring the shift requested what?... that sentence might have succumbed to sleepiness as i nodded off for a moment and wake now only to wonder what i might have been getting at before the what?... i wonder if there is a market or some new cultural appeal for babble or even for ending all sentences with what?... what?...

but wait, before we go there, let us fantasize about cute things, or rather, let us reminisce back to a time when the web was younger and more innocent (or perverse, depending on your perspective) as i will in the next paragraph reflecting on whether installing multiple browsers, in this case, google's latest was worth the potential conflicts and such...

yes, i mean, because you were so concerned and sitting on the edge of your seat and all wondering, i am finding that google chrome is faster and perhaps more fun than IE9 (perhaps cuz it is new, but more) and the irony coincidence kismet or whatever we label the event of connection at relatively perfect timing brings the browser into permanent fixture status on this laptop as last night i found myself babbling for a few moment which lead me to this old haunt were i used to babble and frolic through words and i wandered a big while listening to the remnants (it started with 75 songs and has been whittled down to 53 songs by attrition or copyright hounds or something like that) of a playlist i put together years ago (that was my myspace playlist for years, still is, actually, and if you care to listen please note that the silence is part of the playlist, so let it be, i mean, let it play in it’s own time, ok?) and i found myself clicking on side bar links and sadly found so many not working or gone private and out of touch, but one dear favorite of my earlier web wandering days remained and just so happened to use css3 which IE9 does not recognize, but google chrome does… amazing, no doubt…

yes, some of us are still fascinated by the simplest of things :)

meanwhile, here are some of the last two months (not including the (e)thereal cuz that would more than double the number of links) for your clicking pleasure (what?) as if the titles run together to mean something beyond the individual separate writing spaces themselves… can it get any more exciting than this?... how much i believe this to be true delusions did someone say easy? not dead yet new toys wish it was an april fool's joke missing it for japan ncaa championship cooking shows being what where march 2011 yeah friends just little bit ridiculous once you say it's my brithday idol sucks deeper desires (in me) will the human who is not a sick control freak please stand up random bits punctuation ups and downs tired of people message to missing silent messages lucky idol it used to be so easy questions narcissism politicians say the silliest things human fears last seen heading in a circular direction sg wisdom cuz i want to understand the power of i missing pieces what it is all about, at least mostly sometimes i feel so lonely not noticed some people work for money well ok, there is the rub back-up long time dis-connections the irony of words botts every rug i've known nowhere nothing circimcision, anyone? freethinkers true american way 2012 report and then some relative ends relative ends (who will pay the rent?) and in the end commercial destruction lonely, but (to be with me) beauty worst best da bulls and dia just cuz i like her later i wasn't feeling this way not so much car troubles dream don't buy a car in orlando, fl cars wear sunscreen, and other advice the motion picture jefferson would have danced too sexology once in love …

meanwhile, there were other journeys through other minds via other websites and other writing spaces and other madness that caught my eye for brief moments or maybe even a bit longer and since you survived and somehow still have some curiosity (and time) left over from your recent excursion through whatever that was that just came before (and more blogs await the rabid adventurer, in case you wondered what?), if you are in the mood for random site hopping, well then, say no more, these are some of the sites i saw: 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 135 136 134 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151…

and just think, we could be sitting in comfortable chairs across from each other actually talking too… hopefully we will find a way to achieve such a feat of human magic one of these years, but until then, i have left you with many dozens of clues about the madness and folly (and occasional touch of seriousness and meaningful worth) that may or may not inhabit the space between the ears on top of the shoulders that allow the fingers tapping on the keys that bring you these words to somehow connect to the body containing the being sometimes known as me what?...

and may your smile win the never ending battle with gravity :)

what it is all about, at least mostly

yeah, i know i can be spontaneously ridiculous in a seriously dangerous hedonistic kind of way and what i mean by that is that i can, in momentary spurs (or spur of the moments) decide to reverse all collective good sense and indulge the senses of the body to the max in any number of freewheeling ways that any medical professional would probably say is quite not the ideal adventure for the body (as in quite unhealthy, even) and yet, the pleasures of the flesh of the senses of the adrenaline and chemical rushes are so wonderful that given the clarity of choice between a hundred years of life abstaining from most, if not all physical pleasures or fifty years of life enjoying the physical experiences to the max, i shall live fast and die young, relatively counting…

so in spite of fighting off a nasty cold/flu bug that has most people at work groaning and taking time off and having a compounding abdominal pain that could be kidneys ot intestinal or whatever, i decide to sleep less so the mind can enjoy playing spades against the computer last night knowing i had a long day at work and then softball right after work and the body really would benefit from rest and healthy eating and i play drink some raspberry ices tea after work to wake up (and attempt to clear my sinuses and congestion) and played really well at softball and if that wasn’t enough body-testing, i indulged in fast food frenzy for the first time in weeks on the way home and here it is, home three hours later than i could have been and stuffed with stuffed pizza and stuffed tacos and stuffed stuff and don’t forget the dew, mountain, that is, and wired ridiculously hen i really should be sleeping, ought to be even…

loving every minute of it, jerry…

in the real time of life, the local basketball team blew their chance and lost to the underdogs in the first round of the nba basketball playoffs, which only goes to show you enjoy sports more by playing than by watching, or at least i do, and you enjoy watching a whole lot more when you have many favorites rather than stay locked into a home town choices that you really didn’t make, but kind of inherit by default by living in the place… disappointing, yes, cuz they were expected to win and had to play very poorly to lose, but hey, the team that wants it more usually wins and the local team obviously did not want it more…

but that’s the world out there and i am enjoying the world inside now that i am home from the fun of playing softball and eating taste bud pleasure foods and that, in case you did not notice, bring me (us if you are with me) here to babble a bit about the real time life lived in, well, real time right here and now, relatively writing (and that is the point of the story of the life as told loosely in this blog cuz right here and now is whenever you might be here reading this which can almost never be the right here and now i experience as i am writing this so the we is a fiction we create if we want to and for those who do, yay, cuz that is what it (life, the universe, and everything, at least) is all about (hokey pokey shmokey)…

buzzing now, cuz i cut out caffeine for the past week or so or longer, i think, and dancing in the moonlight in my mind as the hopes and dreams of a gazillion beings across the universe coalesce in the collective consciousness of the consciously aware (which is relative to the level of consciousness one actualizes within and in the physical, which is often two different things as few transcend the connection but those who do know more than most others know, for what that is worth to you {not discounting celstine prophesy fans or religious zealots or sci-fi fans, for that matter, each choosing a different way to construct a mental reality that provides explanations for the aspects of existence that few come close to experiencing, understanding, knowing, actualizing, or doo dah daying, for that matter}, if it is worth anything, that is), which may or may not be you as you journey through your experience of this physical existence, cha cha cha…

what meaning you find in the words in this blog is worth the value that you choose to place on it and while i may hope you choose the value colloquially known as priceless in the most sincere sense (not that ego doesn’t want to be the center of the universe in every way in every mind of every being in every universe, but that’s beside the point cha know), it is, in the end (and also in the beginning and right now even, and the middle too), almost totally completely and virtually all up to you and you might, as most do, choose not to let me in on your decision which is quite alright if you are not into sharing, but being me i shall continue sharing in the hope the end of the universe does not come before you find out that sharing is the point of it all…

yes alfie, that’s what it’s all about, your way, my way, our way, the way is sharing and caring and feeling and experiencing the physical existence as much as possible for as long as it lasts and then, whatever comes will come and the point will be enjoying that as much as possible… and even within the truth within these words as true as it is, the experience can be heightened still further by optimizing the physical senses by optimizing the physical body that experiences the physical existence if you know what i mean and that requires (even if i am wrong, which i am not, at least not in this universe, but anything is possible, probably, nyuk nyuk) maximizing the physical body which is one of the aspects of this life that i am not optimizing at this time (and it’s been years at that) which shows in my stamina and that is not just the aging process though that process is playing more of a factor with each passing year, i can still focus and concentrate and discipline my choices and actions much more to optimize the physical body much better which would increase the sensory and conscious awareness and presence in the physical experience of the physical existence la la la…

so what are you doing in your experience of life to choose your experience of life, i wonder… are you accepting the lazy hedonistic pleasures like me or are you optimizing every moment of the physical experience by optimizing the physical body that contains your consciousness?... and the thought slides over the top just now containing the construct pondering how it appears that so many who work very diligently to optimize the physical body do not actually connect with the conscious awareness such physical optimization can bring or provide and that is likely mostly due to conditioning over the years from early youth to fear conscious awareness and accept delusional mental subservience and emotional abstinence and physical slavery (or vice verse, adjectively speaking) so all they experience is the optimization of the superficial physical existence without much of a clue about what they could actualize if they free their mind (cuz their ass would follow)…

alas, that is a sad thought for those who know, but for the vast majority who remain unaware, ignorance remains bliss as long as bliss is defined by ignorance (sneaky slip of the psychological mickey there, and i don’t mean mouse or rooney, if you know what i mean)… but before we get to superimposing judgments on the conceptual propositions laid before you in these words, please consider that knowing is far from the superior position in the grand scheme of things for knowing is not actualizing as exemplified by the old adage about those who can do and those who can’t (mostly because they are afraid to) teach so any offense you create in your mind (and did you see that?) can do you no good in your mind and even less good outside of your mind, but you are free to choose your perspective as you wish…

yeah, as you wish…

and on that note i shall provide these words to you in this moment by pressing the button that sends these words on to the internet for however long this site remains (accepting so many sites have been deleted by servers along the way and who is to say google will not do the same one day) for you and posterity, whomever or whichever comes first or in any order cuz it is the choice you make that determines what it is, and (all together now) that is what it is all about…

love it or you are wasting your time :)

random bits

i’ll just start this off randomly without reason or rhyme cuz the point of this entry may be to be an entry without one, point, that is, except maybe to kit (as opposed to kiss) which is something you might want to do if you want to do, i mean, care, even, so whether you let me (or yourself) know or not, thanks for being here and the fish thank you too, with reference to a favorite, 42, even, obscure as it might be to those who do not know adams about the universe, or is that atoms, in any case, cornfeathers for freedom…

just a little bit ridiculous
to think there are at least a hundred bits of babbling thoughts dribbling through my head at any given second and i only take the moment to let any out every few weeks or so, or longer, even...

maybe i ought to mobile tweet...

once
once i was in love

delusions
delusions are what happens to illusions when people no longer see their transparency...

idol sucks
it is not a show i want to watch anymore (actually did not watch it this week cuz softball season started up again)

deeper desires
I've got a strange relationship with myself

will the human who is not a sick control freak please stand up
but blinded by their fear, they do not see and worse, they expect everyone else to see their fear as the only way to see, their way as the only way to be... from the grand master plans of religious zealots to the singular psychosis of a mass murderer to the singular neurosis of an individual obsessive compulsive person to the collective suicidal insanity of the seriously delusional human race, their fear is death to life

sites i saw
ignobel awards

the most important human interaction survival skill in the physical world
do not to ask anything of anyone unless it is offered and then, accept what is offered only in an amount you can truly appreciate and most importantly, do not expect to receive what is offered... that is the most important human interaction survival skill in the physical world...

remember the garden party
sometimes the most intricately crafted nonsense can feel like such genius, or something like what?...

not a clue as to why or what but only i know and you could too if you wanted to (not that 70’s show, please cuz irony is it might be found on the tube once every few months even though mila has, in the past, adorned the laptop desktop (does that make sense?... does it have to?)… don’t hide your shine (bend over) and tomorrow i leave for Atlanta for a few days of business stuff (not for the food, it’s not new york or orleans, after all, and you don’t get a girlfriend with a sub unless it’s in your pants, so what’s the point of the ridiculous commercials if you take a journey through decades old music that mushes out the romantic in anybody (except some humans with poles they think are seats)… not that i’m cynical or anything…

the links will likely not even work which will either force a lot more work someday along the way or leave the depth obscured even more than these words might, do, even… bleary even meeting the night staring into the space between the stars, our ignoble hero takes a bite out of the possibilities of life… like the scattered pages of yore, we find random thoughts intermingled with profound thoughts with such alacrity that coherent understanding could slip like butter through the fingers of the surest magician you’ve never seen and if you catch ten percent of the references you are in the top ten percent of the perceptive of this world, humanity, that is….

and just who is ariel tweto, anyway, i meant tweto?... must be something she ate, or would you rather eat her, wonder which she would prefer, sometime ask, but first, find out who she is, i mean, after all, what’s the point, difference, huh?... itchy leg, bug bite or rash thing, too lazy to look down to see, but stop scratching fool cuz scratching just makes it itch more… like antihistimines…

being different
being different is not acceptible in our culture,

like a memory
oh so amazing the magical first site of love that I knew once upon a time and meg and dia she takes me back there from a distance, afar off memory not quite a fantasy (sometimes a fantasy is all we need, but not all the time) so once again the magic calls from deep within and I don’t make the time (what, fools rush in and that is why the things we do for {what’s that song, where’s that tape, love, who was that… oh, once upon a time)… just dare me to jump and see what happens :)

best middle eastern gyro
you can enjoy the best middle eastern gyro west (or east, for that matter) of the middle east mondays through saturdays at
The Mediterranean Deli
981 W. Fairbanks Ave
Orlando, FL 32804
(407)539-2650

tears
i cry all the time somewhere inside

useless warnings
requesting attention may get you some giving attention may get you more but look around and take care of your heart in this blog you will be torn apart cuz this is the anti-blog where i curse the hypocrisy of people pretending to care especially about me…


night
late as the night becomes deeper the music plays softly in the windmills of my mind and the dreams filling the corners sweep the scent of memories out of heartbeats and sweet whispers telling me life can be kind even after all the giving and the taking has left nothing and the working and rebuilding continues until the end there is one hope rising above all the fear and unrequited love and that is the belief in someone who will be my friend...

http://thevidme.blogspot.com/2011/02/wonderful-new-musical-toy.html

life is full of it
new spaces, having moved last week, and the background noises have changed... there's the relatively constant noise of passing cars and trucks as the expressway is just a hundred yards or so from where i sit, so that'll take a bit of getting used to... the place is a lot smaller, so the sounds are closer inside, whatever sounds there are (tv, pipes, cabinets, fridge, air conditioner, and so on)... tv has been more in the background than ever as interest has waned of late, the same old reruns and a few new shows but nothing grabbing me away from whatever else i am doing... and that's just the audible background noise...



this is incomplete...

you say it's my brithday?

well it's your birthday too (yeah yeah yeah... yeah!)

so while waiting for the slowness of facebook to allow me to click on all the movies (films, for the cultured) i've seen cuz they asked, or someone did, asked, that is, i shall update you on the relaxing goof-off day i am giving myself for my birthday because i seldom give myself anything different on any given day cuz i enjoy every day as much as i can even though i've been too busy to remember to give myself time for longer than a few seconds of relaxing goof-off at a time (though it do regularly goof-off and get ridiculously silly because that is in my contract with the univers, and genes too) in recent years... today, so far, i am watching youtube videos, browsing facebook for random ideas and amusements, leaving a few words for friends, loving the attention those who care and show it give me, even pondering deep thoughts now and then... also, while the facebook thing loaded, i ate lunch and pooped... ah, the miracle of modern technology (laptops, not pooping)... so much can be done while waiting for facebook to load their quizzes and apps and other devices if you ignore (and continually click "no" on the windows pop-up box that asks if you want to stop running the script that is slowing the computer to a crawl which is quite annoying in itself, as are so many microsoft (sucks) windows "features" that prevent you from using your computer as you'd really like to use your computer, the italics signifying sarcasm and annoyance with microsoft, which sucks, of course), ya know?...

most of what i've been doing and thinking at the moment and the surrounding moments that are becoming today can be found in facebook comments and messages (i wonder if you google bugs webbot and today's date if all those messages will appear... or search facebook, for that matter... actually, yes on facebook but the results are extremely limited, so you'll just have to go to my profile for more... feel free to let me know if you find other ways to find track stalk me on the web cuz i do want you to know everything you want to know about me, especially if you want to know everything about me, really i do...

all i ever needed was the one, you know...

another side-benefit from the ridiculously time-consuming facebook movie/film question thing that is very poorly designed (i may have mentioned how ridiculous the ineffectiveness of the facebook thing is) to supposedly let the world know how many of the movies (or films) it considers "classic" (most of which are old black and white films as if no color film could be considered a "classic" i suppose, or someone supposes, i suppose) i have seen was that as i clicked on each box signifying that i had seen the film titled next to the box, i was able to take a few moments (or up to sixty seconds and even longer at times) to remenisce about the film that was represented by the title that was next to the box that i was clicking to signify that i had seen the film (am i stretching for a silver lining here?)... i can see that other facebook friends long since gave up on waiting for the facebook page to refresh and therein did not actually click on all the films they actually saw because i know at least one of the fiends saw most all of them like me, but then, time is valuable to most people...

even pooping time...

meanwhile, since this pitifully designed facebook device freezes my browser for the time it takes facebook to actually register the click on the box that registers with someone that i saw the film and, well, you know, and microsoft (sucks), in it's infinite wisdom (not), builds in an even more annoying poorly designed "feature" that slows the computer even more and worse by (at least) repetitively interrupting the writing of this entry you so dearly long for (risking redundancy or worse, boring chatter), this amazingly badly designed script on facebook combined with the forced take-over of my computer by the microsoft corporation every time the stupidly designed facebook script re-loads and releases my browser for my use has (has it now?) detoured the path of my web browsing today (you say what?), which is appropriate i suppose as i was wandering deeper into the serious sadness that is the current state of humanity and i would like to enjoy the day more than a serious look at humanity would allow, so i suppose i ought to thank facebook for it's apparent time-wasting slowness after all...

i'd even have time to shower if i had a waterproof computer... yes, to be completely and utterly serious for a brief moment, this is to be an exceptionally fun and irreverent day of doing absolutely anything i want with a heavy emphasis on relaxing and loafing around... though i would play tennis or basketball or some other sport if there was another person around, but most everybody i know is working at the moment, i choose one of my favorite solitary activities, writing...

so anyway, here's the update (what?... but we've only just begun) you've been longing for since the last update, right... ah, if only you wanted me as much as i wanted you, this day and life and the universe and everything would actually be perfect (if she only understood :)

.

.

.

.

so where's the update?...

you can't always get what you want

if you believe in can't, perhaps,
but that's besides the point...

”a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water… the bartender reaches under the bar for a shotgun and fires a shot that barely misses the man… the man says thank you, puts a tip on the bar, and leaves…

why did the man say thank you?...

you can’t always get what you want…
you can’t always get what you want…
you can’t always get what you want…
but if you try sometimes…

so long, not to say farewell, but to mark the time as the last time i babbled a bit here was so long ago, relatively speaking (yeah, writing), and sometimes it could be a blast from the past (as facebook has provided in recent times) and sometimes it’s something more obscure or indirect, like a story unrelated to anything personal and yet, connects with some emotion down deep enough to shiver me timbers and send those unmistakable shivers up and down the spine (such as an ncis episode, a show that built a remarkable character base that reflects the closeness and distance of relationships that are intimate on some levels and not intimate on other levels, in other words, people who share love for each other on levels deeper than friends and yet, do not become lovers, something like . . . family, i suppose… anyway, that’s the primary drawn of ncis for me, in case you wondered) and then there’s the babble that just seems to go on and on and on with little or no reason or more or less and in some way becomes an allegory for some profound metaphor of personal history or experience or fantasy or intensity beyond the reach of mortal man (or something like that)…

and even as i (here comes another blatant plug, without any more warning than this, actually) continue to update daily life, daily, even, and it may even seem as if i am happily rolling along in the newly found brevity of that and still more blogs than there are sticks to shake at (under the blog brevity act of 2008, no doubt, the blog region of the written gardens expanded to become bigger than the diary and journal regions combined and almost as big as the original written gardens so brutally deleted from the web by att in the callous corporate cut-off of 2010 – no really, it was quite dramatic, traumatic, and automatic and what’s worse, earlier than warned it would happen so i did not have time to download the almost 40Mb of writing {do you have any idea of how many words are in 40Mb of simple html pages?} and therefore, the att corporate bastards join the league of assholes at disney and abc and lycos and other american businessmen who build-in obsolescence into every product and to hell with the consumers, the American people, and the American way that used to be the work ethic and pride in labor and product that now moves many other countries ahead of the u.s. in so many ways, quality, reliability, efficiency, marketability, education, human services, equality, security, and are we having fun yet?)…

or something like what?...

believe it or not we are not (so not, actually) walking on air and in so many ways not free… but one thing, free to fall asleep right now, right here, in RealTime™ can I and will, I, yes… to be continued tomorrow… i hope…

it is tomorrow (well, not directly the day after the day the previous words were written, but the day after the day before, which does make it a tomorrow even if it was not the precise tomorrow hoped for in the previous thought and yet, what is time and is not every day after the day before (or this moment, even) tomorrow in the broader sense of future as opposed to a specific day?…

again, we widen our eyes (so soon?) and what?...

but (or not to but, that is not the question for the moment as we are about to delve into deeper waters and proposed that the ultimate question may simply be, wait, let’s step out of this parentheses first) are you in touch (which was recorded moments ago, according to the blogspot blog records, the one thousand seven hundred sixty ninth {yes, 1769} post in the (e)thereal blog {which finally achieved the brevity sought for all these long years in so many other writing utensils}, though there is a discrepancy in the counter {so much for the precision of google analytics} as the total blogposts count is 1776 and yet there are 8 unpublished {scheduled} blog posts so first grade math tells us that 8 plus 1769 equals 1777, yet the counter says 1776 total posts at (e)thereal blog, i mean, if you are counting or even aware (e)thereal exists, for that matter, that is) and even more poignantly, do you wanna be (really?... i think the question, that is the ultimate question mentioned before the parenthetic asides stepped in, was are you in touch, i mean, in case you were starting to get lost there for a sec) as the momentarily current (e)thereal blog entry sort of asks (and tells, even), and if you don’t believe it, well, here it is extrapolated and expounded upon as is usually the case in these matters (and if you know what matters of which we refer, we are applauding you even as you scratch your head, metaphorically, of course)…

are you in touch?

keeping, that is, as in keeping in touch (kit™ ©1960, 1966, 1973, 1987, 2001 and KIT™ ©1960, 1966, 1973, 1987, 2001 and soon to be 2012 or 13, at least and too as well, also, even, i mean, just in case you missed it in the original online version or, as every human being on the planet except maybe one or a few who may not have even noticed or been paying attention did not see or become aware of until now or whenever this may be read, the original hand written original manuscript {epic manifesto, no doubt} was almost hermetically sealed in a time-capsule {box} and stored in storage {the location has been moved a few times for love, but the boxes remain intact} except for those scattered pages that were partially stolen or destroyed in various dastardly thefts, human betrayals, and unexpected natural {or unnatural, depending on perspective} disasters over the years, just for the record and interest {as opposed to residuals} or concern {caring?} if you have any, for me or at least for the babbling {and KIT™, member?... i mean, that is where this entry and we, at least, that is, the online we, started, after all, so if there was a point, yeah} you've missed, i mean)…

in any case (what?... you expect explanations in (e)thereal™ ha ha ha, i laugh at your moxey and refer to you the babbler™ {The Babbler™ ©1973, 1999, and so on} as i continue the brevity™ {someday} finally initiated with general {and hopefully recognizable} purpose {as opposed to the funda™ ©2004 or so, which was barely noticed [though perhaps more than this, ironically] or understood} cuz you can’t always get what you want, ya know?... i mean, even you try all the time, cha cha cha), i am, since you asked (your reading this far is implicit curiosity whether you acknowledge it or not, so there, na na na na na) exhausted but less pain though that may be the tylenol masking symptoms but i am hopeful and happier than yesterday in spite of the challenges so odds are i am going to make it through the week and though odds do not mean absolute certainty the hopefulness and happiness help perspective stay positive which theoretically raises the odds if you believe in such things…

and how are you? :)

right, so whatever that means, you’ll note that i actually ask how are you? and just so you know, in case you lose touch skimming through all this babble (or even if you read every word three times, at least, and still are not sure you follow every long and short winding road that leads me to your door), i do actually truly really want to know how are you? as in how you are right now? and how is life going for you? and what matters to you? yes, at this moment and this week/month and in life?… contrary to what you might consider your intelligence and common sense, i do not waste words and do not write what i do not mean to write (even when i am scatting through babble at break-neck speeds and playing with words hap-hazardly without a thought about anything other than the creative process {and not even that at times for that is the essence and potential art of free-association and babble™ ya know, or maybe not, know, that is} for even in pure imaginary word-play i am seeking to convey some point and each word is a conveyor of that point, successful or not {more often not, perhaps}, so believe it or not, i do) so i do want to know (accepting we can‘t always get what we want, of course, the point is, ultimate or not, we can continue asking {cuz if we try sometimes, now you get it?... wait, still thinking about the man who walked into the bar?)…

so… how ya doin? :)






oh, and the man, you know, the one who said thank you to the bartender?...

he had the hiccups…





:)