some sort of almost forced part four
yeah, so anyway, if you've been following along the trains of thought and are not sorry you've come along for the ride, you are hopefully understanding the meaning of the words and maybe even feeling the depths of the desires and even if you don't share a few words of your own (or comforting hugs, even), perhaps you can empathize and if you share the same experience in your life, i feel you even if you don't want me to because i feel me and am not afraid to open myself to everything even when it is not the best feeling and the emptiness of unfulfilled desire is seldom the best feeling...
the way i can share love
without fear or inhibition
i would so like to find someone with an open mind
as open as mine
without walls or superstition
anything is possible
if you believe it is
that is ultimate truth
accept it or not
you cannot change it
and neither can i
all we can do is live
the best life we can live
and give all we can give
until the day we die
i would so like to find someone who can share everything
i mean share everything
without fear or restriction
i would so like to find someone with who understands
life is at our command
and dreams come to fruition
when we dare to do what we want to do
and stop pretending there is reason not to
as long as we intend no harm we can do anything
isn't it time you started to sing
anything is possible
if you believe it is
that is ultimate truth
accept it or not
you cannot change it
and neither can i
all we can do is live
the best life we can live
and give all we can give
until the day we die
i would so like to find someone who overcomes all fear
so we can be aware
we create our reality
i would so like to find someone who understands
we control our own hands
accept responsibility
and dare to do what we want to do
and stop pretending there is reason not to
as long as we intend no harm we can do anything
isn't it time you started to sing
anything is possible
if you believe it is
that is ultimate truth
accept it or not
you cannot change it
and neither can i
all we can do is live
the best life we can live
and give all we can give
until the day we die
yeah, yeah, yeah, ya know?... it is somewhat amazing that the scan is just 48% completed and still has two hours to go after 650,000 files have been scanned, but that is what is happening and keeps these words flowing even as i am getting tired of the waiting for the scan to end so i can then start the spybot scans and immunizations before i reconnect to the web so i can download the 23 important updates windows says are available and i've got to wonder what that's all about, i mean, updates every tuesday to be safe and secure online... does a car need to be rebuilt every week to run well?... perhaps... 700,00 files scanned and still 48% and two hours remaining... this could take all night... sheesh...
i could be exercising but it is 3:00 am and i worked seventy hours this week and played softball last night and did not get enough sleep and once again i am giving into the fear that pushing the body too much will hurt it or even kill it even though time and time again i proved to myself that i can push the body to exercise even when fatigued and yet, every year brings this body closer to actual body death and sooner or later that actual point of injury or death when pushing exercise on the body without enough rest will happen and then what... the point of the exercise, after all, is to enhance and prolong life, not end it... such a delicate balance, this life, becoming more and more delicate, precarious, even, with each passing year... and alone, there is so much more reason to avoid the end because, after all, the reason for continuing the living process, besides enjoying it, is to share it, to find the one and share everything...
the least i can do is stand up and type so i use a bit more energy and burn a few more calories and avoid butt ache or hemmerhoids or whatever... even better, i could buy that elliptical machine i've been talking about buying for years and actually exercise while i am typing (it would take some time to master the skill but i probably could, even at this adult stage of life, though it would have been easier to aquire the skill at the teen or childhood stages when everything is easiler to learn but that is past and this is now and the dang scan is still saying two hours remaining even as it's scanned more than 800,000 files and reached the 60% mark in the last few seconds... so maybe it is time to take a break and do something else... like opening some of those boxes or at least putting some of the stores of food away that i bought last week...
a little while later and approaching a million files scanned and the 80% mark, after chasing a rather unpleasant-looing spider around the living room with a generic brand window cleaner because i couldn't find bug spray fast enough only to lose the eight legged monster under the couch which hopefully will not end in a bite or more as i am still sleeping on the couch these days, the computer continues to function within relatively acceptible parameters as long as i accept the pitifully slow and inefficient state of home computers at this time... so while i took the couch apart and sprayed bug spray all over the frame of the couch and around the base and behind and so on, the scan progressed to 90% and just over a million files scanned with 15 minutes left... light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps... in a less fatigued state, this might even be exciting... if nothing else, fans of this babbling blog will be thrilled that the computer concerns kept the babbler away all night and brought the babbler back to some form of babbling, be it whiney crabby whatever we might make of (or call) these entries which will not pause as suddenly as the last one...
narf :)
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