waking groggy

I think part of the waking groggy experience is psychologocal, perhaps much more than just a small part, for if I was not working tonight and knew I had days and days to do whatever I wanted instead of punching a clock every twenty four hours and therein needing to be calm and professional and cleaned up and groomed for the gig, I'd feel the excitement of the endless possibilities and wake up thrilled to bounce around floppy and sloppy and not caring less what I appeared to be for others just like the four year old I am inside...

of course that could just be a rational excuse for being lazy and not getting to the gym again today because, after all, I've got to work in a few hours and want some time to shower, cook, eat, and dangit, just plain old relax...

I think I've been processing too many medical records... I see streams of numbers and diagnoses and medications and doses and routes and contraindications and all the threads of the mock databases I've been putting together for the hospital the last few weeks (months) as I single handedly attempt to move the place out of the dark ages of paper files and into the computer age...

I must learn more Excel database functions or find a database that works for the stuff I am doing... I used to create databases with Paradox a hundred years ago (ok, so 13, but it feels like a hundred), but I am not finding synapses eager to learn Excel in that particular work environment mostly because the writer is jealous and grumbling over the loss of writing time...

ironically, since only a handful of people there have even the most basic computer skills (and fifty percent have none, like, where's the on button and what do I do with it?), it'll take major training and policy change to start using the systems I am creating for them, but there are three or four people who will appreciated it and since we basically keep the old ship afloat, we're happy not to drown...

meanwhile, I love your comments almost as much as your entries (but not quite... your entries are brilliant and demand more time and thought from me that I hope to be able to find and share one of these days)...

and anybody else who has found me updating daily here, well...

hello J