maybe I am reaching out again

then, a night or so ago I wrote this:

Thanks for the idea :)

I prefer other games to Poker and tend to avoid the money competitions as I wonder if the primary purpose of many who go there is to make money, rather than socialize. I'm not looking for competitiors, I am looking for friends. Team games and sports are much more to my likely over cut-throat me against everybody else games.

But poker for pennies (or loose change) among friends, that can be fun. I'll look at the site more closely when I have more time and appreciate any idea that might bring more social life into mine.

And to you and all reading here:

I've been trying to find time and ways to fit in some more social life into this life I loosely call mine (often I wonder , what with business and personal obligations, "who's life is it, anyway?", if you know what I mean). Signing up at meetup is one of the ways. I get email from dozens of local groups, but time to read and respond (no less attend) is scarce (partly due to habit as emailing and going out on weeknights is not part of my lifestyle and it seems to me that developing more social life requires some lifestyle, or at least schedule changes... like do I want to stay in and browse the web, write a blog, watch TV, vege with my roommates, or enjoy a nap tonight?... usually, I answer "yes" to one of those, but what's that saying about the same choices producing the same results?)...

I am not new in town, I've actually been in Orlando most of the last (counting on fingers and toes) 17 years (shuddering now). In recent years I saw friends move away while work and a sedentary, stay-home lifestyle replaced what was once a much more active and social life. I must have gotten a good night's sleep tonight as I am up early and looking at email and, wow, responding (as if I'm waiting on the world to change, aye?... ah, this sort of mocking myself is sometimes the only amusement I have left)...

I think I am about to write a lettear of introduction or something... I wonder if I actually will and what I might do with it after I do... yes, I do tend to think aloud in written words, rather often, actually... whatever I write will probably end up in my blog, as that has become a substitute for social life lately... maybe a lot longer than lately, now that I think about time...

Thanks for the inspiration to do something with my brain besides work and pondering my navel... I hope you found a smile while reading and if you are relating, feel free to respond any way you'd like. I'll do my best to reciprocate. May today be a wonderful day in your world :)

I left in the typos cuz they probably have some profound meaning (especially the second one, but we won't go there just now, right?)... and I even got a response already in my email... brief and non-commital, but still a response suggesting some reading of my website...

I'll be back in a bit...

where are you from?

speaking of words and online interactions and meeting people and such and such (were we really?), the question (see title) is so much a part of internet life (and I can proudly say I seldom hear/read it, though that might be because people are simply not interested, which isn't something to necessarily be proud of, but I prefer not to hear/read the question because it is so vague and superficial and relatively meaningless to me because it has so many potential answers in the physical world alone and nobody is really asking for an accurate or meaningful answer...

kinda like when people ask what do you do? online (or off)... offline, sometimes I just look at them and stare and if they ask again I say I stare at people who ask me that question...

and then there's a/s/l (if you don't know a/s/l then you haven't been wandering online chat rooms or used instant messaging to meet new people very much)... offline, I sometimes sign "yes" in American Sign Language and leave people wondering...

what?... you weren't asking me if I spoke asl?...

I appreciate people who understand the meaning of the words they use and want as little to do with those who don't, in case you haven't noticed, because misunderstanding is easy enough when we mean what we say, ya know?...

it's bad enough in everyday language, but it's so acceptable in human culture that our leaders kill our children by lying to us and get away with it by playing semantic game... and let's not even start exploring the religious abuse of language or somebody could be assassinated...

anyway, about from...

out in the wilds of myspace where newbies to the web sometimes surface for the very first time, the questions long laughed at by anyone with sense (and most often asked by everyone else) on the internet appear as if they are fresh and new and being asked for the very first time... this entry was mostly inspired (or at least fell right into the stream) by these questions and in particular, the title question as I was asked again as if for the first time this week...

and this is what I said:

thanks for adding me (I feel so much better about myself now... ok, I'm joking... mostly... I mean, being added to a stranger's list of myspace friends shouldn't mean all that much, right?... I mean, it's not like you know me, love me, respect me, think highly of me, worship the ground I walk on or anything, or even like me, but somehow being accepted, even like this, feels good... of course now it leaves me open for rejection if you ever decide I'm just too strange and must be deleted, but hopefully you will see that my irreverent sense of humor is as harmless as I say it is and maybe even be amused enough to enjoy keeping me around... there's always hope, after all)...

no wait, I can be serious if you want... just ask :)

meanwhile, catching up on myspace mail, I come across your question...

sometimes I think I'm from another planet, but them, just cuz I want to believe there's life elsewhere doesn't mean there is...

from is such a strange word...

you mean where am I now?... Orlando, FL, east side, near UCF

where was I born?... Paterson, NJ, a hospital, for a few days... I was then stolen by gypsies and whisked off to adventure...

where did I spend school years?... Brooklyn, NY, East New York, Canarsie, Flatlands...

where else did I live? (for more than a year)... Manhattan (NYC), Monterey (CA), Toronto (the other CA), Niagara Falls (NY), Buffalo (NY, Loughman (FL), Lake Buena Vista (FL)...

where else did I live? (for more than a few months, but less than a year)... San Antonio (TX), Ft. Lauderdale (FL), San Francisco (CA), Los Angeles (CA), Hopewell (VA), other places ... I'm getting bored, are you?...

I'm laughing at myself... I do that often... I am easily amused... the picture you have up amused me... it was enough for me to send you an add request... I could probably find other reasons if you'd like... Stewie definitely helped me like your page... not that I am into naked babies... would you like to know anything else? (feel free to ask... I may not be as strange as I seem :)

oh, and just in case I get kidnapped by gypsies again (or something) and disappear for a month, Happy Anniversary, Happy Birthday, and Happy Bill Paying Days (odd thing to celebrate, but heck, it's your calendar :)

seriously, I hope your Anniversary and Birthday are the best ever (until next year)...

thanks for being there, hope you remain :)

ric

and that is by far the briefest accurate response to the query in the title (of this entry) pertaining to physical spaces that I've ever summarized in words to my momentary recollection at this time...

I mean, I could have gotten all metaphysical about it, after all... I am from where I am, where I was, and where I will be... or even get literal... I am from the womb of an unknown woman... or further ethereal, I am from where I want to be, a timeless space of infinite love and trust...

or something like that...

for the record, the person asking has a calendar on her myspace that has her anniversary, birthday (both within the next month), and bills due for next month listed on it... so the reference was not merely nonsense or an attempt at an amusing close and allusion to my inconsistent communicating... and there was a naked Stewie there too...

so use your words as if you mean what you are saying people, cuz there are children out there, naked children, and they want to understand...

junk in the funk

for whatever impulsive reasons I might create or discover if I took the time to assign reason to the choices I make, I was awake until 4am last night (that's just a few hours ago) trying to convince this computer to function properly as it conbtinuously refused to download my email... in my sleepless way, I attempted to uninstall various programs that may have been interferring with the connection to the email server (including the anti-virus program I just installed recently) and finally, after many hours, I went to the ISP site and chatted briefly with a techie who said they were having server problems... and apparently, they stil are...

all night long...

and who knows how long before that as the last time I downloaded email was somewhere around the ninth... I think that would be October... there is just so many hundreds of junk mails for any single mail worth reading that I often delete everything rather than spend the time it would take to sort through it all... and that is with hundred of filters... my website addresses have been completely shut down for a long while now (I just don't have time to change all the links)... email has been a gross failure as a communication tool for me...

maybe it just does not serve as an open door system of contact at this point in it's development... so one of these days I will try to find time to reset and create some new addresses and give them to the few people I'd like to keep in touch with in a more direct and personal way... through the written word... and the walls?... ah, to trust the written word personally again, that would be a truly great adventure...

so groggy is the state of the mind and body this morning and that does not bode well for the concert we have in less than ten hours... and the rest of the week, for that matter... what with work and two more concerts Friday and Saturday and another one Monday...

and I wonder why I am alone most of the time? J

I figure I'll slow down eventually enough for someone to will keep up with me someday (logic, I suppose)... anyway, have fun out there, cuz life's too short to let the foibles of technology or the fog of sleeplessness or anything get in the way of the pleasure every experience can be... and just in case you've emailed me, well, you can always leave a comment or send a private myspace message, but in fact, that is one big reason my telephone number is out here on the web where anyone can find it and I love you guys who've noticed for seeing and using it...

yay J