slow motion Monday

maybe it's cuz I haven't been to the gym in a week plus, but life seems to be moving in slow motion lately... it's a good slow motion, but then, the world outside the mind is as it is and the feeling of good or bad or happy or sad comes from within... the world outside the mind, as a whole, is relatively blank emotionally... people do sometimes wake up and share some genuine emotion, but most of the time even people are just passing through the scene on their way somewhere else and leaving the barest shadows of emotion, if any... so very often the world outside the mind is a blank canvas, emotionally, and it is for the artist within to paint the emotional scene, to see through the eyes that bring the scene into focus, to choose how to feel about everything...

and whether we want to (or choose to) take responsibility for the feeling we feel as we gather in the sensory data from the world around us, we do choose how we feel... often, we choose before we even process the world around us... often, we bring to the scene our predesposed emotional perspective, whether we call it perspective or baggage or vision... whether it is a blessing or a curse...

there's a bit more to that thought path, but...

I was pondering the motion of the day and while little happens in the big picture, the details are beautiful and feel wonderful because I feel beautiful and wonderful... and I'll get my clothes hung up sometime tonight if I want to sleep in the bed and I'll watch the wheels go round and round... even if, for the moment, here and now, I am the only one...

I am thankful for you out there (and you are why I came here tonight as much as anything)... for the last two hours I've been watching an interview with Al Pachino on Actor's Studio and when I think of my favorite actors, his name is always in the top group of all-time favorites not just for the body of his work, but for the snips of person I see when I see images and hear or read interviews...

it is a sense of understanding I get from him and other favorite people I've never met... I believe it is about living in the moment, but so much more, it is about bringing the joy of being into that moment... the acceptance of self, if not always the love of self... and the pleasure of exploring the world, each moment, as the brand new experience it is...

so rarely have I met anyone who does that in this life...

Six Feet Under debuts on the Bravo channel now... I don't have time to watch, but it is a show I've often thought I'd enjoy (instinct, but then, I could be wrong and TV doesn't mean that much to me unless someone shares the watching so it's time to put on some music and go explore the closet)...

hope your night feels great J