great cyst!
much like the kid waiting for the great pumpkin, the ultrasound showed wonderful images of not just the great cyst on my kidney, but others as well... I have a many cysted kidney... is it supposed to hurt more now that I know about it?...
I mock my kidneys and modern medicine, but I shall still bring all the test results to the nephrologist for further learned opinions and continue taking the body to new levels in the gym and accept that life is pain (you remember, I said so, so there) and it's all part of the joy ride towards death and I'll enjoy it more than anybody else does because I can...
the joke is on me, after all, if the pains I feel are actually deadly and not actually the gym workout muscle rebuilding... it's not always easy to tell, ya know (all those no pain no gain kocks at the gym know, though I wonder if they ever exercise their minds or cosmic psychic parts, aka ethereal essense or spirit or whatnot... it's the whatnot I am interested in most)...
so I took a night off the gym and slept through most of Enterprise and woke just after midnight and went to bed and didn't sleep, so I came out and went to myspace and found a message from a cousin I haven't seen in maybe twenty years or more and wow, what a blast from the past that was... I wrote back, passed through some wonderful memories and painful crap, found out the woman who adopted me near birth and who I called mom most of my childhood died last year and the man who married her when I was six or seven is still the same unpleasant old man he was, and ate some oatmeal... the sun rose, work in two hours, I think I'll nap now...
the secret is to enjoy it :)
I mock my kidneys and modern medicine, but I shall still bring all the test results to the nephrologist for further learned opinions and continue taking the body to new levels in the gym and accept that life is pain (you remember, I said so, so there) and it's all part of the joy ride towards death and I'll enjoy it more than anybody else does because I can...
the joke is on me, after all, if the pains I feel are actually deadly and not actually the gym workout muscle rebuilding... it's not always easy to tell, ya know (all those no pain no gain kocks at the gym know, though I wonder if they ever exercise their minds or cosmic psychic parts, aka ethereal essense or spirit or whatnot... it's the whatnot I am interested in most)...
so I took a night off the gym and slept through most of Enterprise and woke just after midnight and went to bed and didn't sleep, so I came out and went to myspace and found a message from a cousin I haven't seen in maybe twenty years or more and wow, what a blast from the past that was... I wrote back, passed through some wonderful memories and painful crap, found out the woman who adopted me near birth and who I called mom most of my childhood died last year and the man who married her when I was six or seven is still the same unpleasant old man he was, and ate some oatmeal... the sun rose, work in two hours, I think I'll nap now...
the secret is to enjoy it :)
Labels: bftp, body, death, doctors, fam, food, health, kidneys, life, mtmm, myspace, semi-philosophy, TV
posted by candoor at 11:59 PM
4 Comments:
doesn't nephrologist sound like the guy who puts pharaoh:z to sleep?
you mean enjoy the morphine? dood, i would like to say "that sux" in response to this post, but sounds to me a more appropriate comment would be:
!!!! YOU'RE FUCKED !!!!
anyway, okay, enjoy IT!
can we make the assumption that it is multiple cysts in which your kidneys can happily function in their presence, and not the more troublesome diagnosis of polycystic kidney disease?
z - wasn't thinking about morphine, was thinking about life, pleasure, pain, everything - feeling... feeling is life and that's what I enjoy... it's sometimes more challenging to enjoy some feelings than other feelings, but the secret is to learn how to enjoy it, every feeling, and feeling everything...
hey, it's my secret and it works for me, even if it doesn't work for anybody else :)
s - I'll leave the nomenclature for the medical professionals who like to name things, especially since they are often inept and guessing... the report on the pictures taken yesterday will take 3-5 days, they say...
meanwhile, the report on the KUB, or kidney xray, finally reached my urologist yesterday (or at least they finally called me yesterday) and the report said I had no stones and no cysts... so my kidneys are in perfect health as long as I keep going to the blind the radiologist...
the stones must be all in my mind... the ultrasound tech was puzzled at the clean KUB report too... maybe the ultrasound will be ready for the nephorologist on thursday (or I can talk the the nephrologist into calling and asking for the file or something) and the supposed kidney expert will tell me what he thinks of my naked photos and then, if I decide to believe him, maybe I'll know something more than there are definitely big dark areas on pictures of the kidneys (I do believe my own eyes :)
after 30+ years in the medical field, I've learned one thing above all else, there is a disease (at least one, usually many) for every set of symptoms and half the time the diagnosis is wrong... so I'll enjoy it all and die when I die and not worry over the possibilities... I'm not looking for a disease, after all :)
and now, off to the gym again :)
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