another Tuesday, not threesday

I don't know if that title has anything to do with it feeling quite crowded in this space these days, but if the show fits, let's hope it doesn't smell too bad...

I have this really great hazelnut cream candle in front of me and it's making my nose very happy... I got home and nobody was here, but the TV was on (it hasn't been off since last week when Odysseus showed up)... it's Rasputin's night off and he apparently took Odysseus and Precious out for dinner tonight... apparently he didn't use his time off to encourage or help Odysseus look for a job, but provided an even better free ride for him... instinct is telling me nothing is going to change unless I intervene...

they got home with a couple of DVDs Rasputin knew I'd like and he walked right over to show me... he could tell I wasn't seeing anything but Odysseus's smelly bags and the lack of movement in returning the living room to a living room... when Odysseus went outside to smoke a cigarette, I asked Raspy if they had any plan and he shrugged and had nothing to say, just continued staring at the TV (but then, that's what Rasputin does, we think with amusement)...

with the door opening and closing every half hour in one of the hottest Augusts in years and the TV on constantly, I'm going to have a seriously high electric bill for this month... with Precious going over the limit in text messages last month, the pendulum of not respecting my wallet (or space) seems to be swinging back around to requiring some reminders on my part... maybe it's time to stop sharing my internet connection and cellphone plan... or perhaps we'll just this continue a while longer and see what lesson can come from it... a change in my complacency, perhaps...

I seldom give much thought energy to things that do not please me or most of the time, easily ignore or overlook things that I find unpleasant (or repulsive, even)... for instance, I find fat repulsive and laziness pathetic (this may prove me more human than we ever imagined, or perhaps more intuitive and aware, from another perspective, but then, can humans have another perspective?... I see fat, my mind things unhealthiness... I see fat bottoms, and my mind thinks laziness), yet I treasure Precious and she's far from thin and quite lazy...

I think having a smelly guy suddenly living on the couch this past week and observing him acting as though it's permanent has gotten me to thinking about things I do not like about life and people and stuff... perhaps this test of my patience is bringing up memories of other things that have tested my patience (or perhaps it's just leaving less patience for the rest of life)... anyway, I also remembered today just how much I do not like insincerity and false bravado that hides insecurity (and I don't have much patience for insecurity in my personal world either, as I recall)...

it's instinctive, really, it's sometimes a look, sometims a voice, sometimes (most times) something else coming through some other sense... you may know already that I am not a big fan of humans that are not clean... I don't mean cluttered people or scttered people, in fact, I can appreciate a space randomly piled with books and papers and art and stuff... but humans that do not clean their bodies regularly, or humans that invite insects and vermin and diseases into their space by leaving or dropping food around haphazardly, that's unpleasant to me...

so what else?...

nocpdjavcf, for starters... but then, I often feel that I have too much fun with everything to be seriously bugged by anything for more than a few moments... I think that's why I retired a few times and relate to sitting here (or even wandering around) watching the wheels (ya know, John;s song)... I may, from a human collective perspective, suffer from a failed social conscience... or maybe it's a refusal to grow up enough to leave the fantasy land of childhood... or maybe it's some bigger consciousness that knows that this life is but a flicker of a candle (hazelnut cream, perhaps) in the vast eternal fire, a fleeting blink in the endless vision of the universe, the illusion ofa moment in the timeless infinity...

or maybe I'm just ambivalent...

hmmm, a change in my complacency?... hey, just cuz I'm laughing doesn't mean I am not pondering deep thoughts... remember Jack Handey?... he was real, you know... did I mention that I started reading Illusions last night?... I dreamed that I was sitting on the wing of an old biplane talking to some birds about cloud formations and crop circles while Richard and his friend were doing their flying tricks... or maybe I wasn't dreaming, because, after all, I almost never rmemeber dreams...

meanwhile, in RealTime™, I suppose they forgot that I usually watch Eureka on Tuesday evenings when they decided to go for the rare treat of a DVD rental (Raspy rarely has money for it)... when I reminded them, Raspy went to bed, Precious and Odysseus watched Eureka with me... this is Raspy's regular sleep time anyway (he works nights and sleeps evenings), but I suppose he was playing the good host to his brother... I'd have no problem with that and join right in if Odysseus was visiting, but that's not the situation and I won't participate in pretending this is just a visit... I can tell I was a wet blanket of cold reality for all of them when they got back, especially whern I asked if any job hunting or plans were done today... Raspy will just have to deal with waking up his usual time, before sunrise, and decide whether he wants enjoy his living room and night off as he usually does... ironic that I've taken the stuffy grown up role all of a sudden... bet they didn't know I had it in me (I shouldn't be giggling at my stuffiness, huh?)...

so Raspy is in his room, Oddy is sleeping on the couch, and Precious went for a walk to talk to a friend on the phone... and I've got a sweet hazelnut cream candle :)

at work, I did a couple of PI reports today and let the data pile up and go another day late... one of the agencies we report to emailed me inquiring as to when their data would be sent... I might respond tomorrow, though I let the new part time data person use my desk and computer all day while I was working on PI stuff on another computer, so I didn't see the emails until after five... apparently someone from corporate will be meeting with the directors at 8:30am... I've got an 8am dental appointment for a cleaning, so oh well, ya missed me... it will be a perfect opportunity to remind everyone that what they are asking of me can not be done until the office changes happen (not to mention an upgraded computer), so maybe the foot dragging will be addressed... it's just bad timing as I don't want to cancel the dentist at the last minute... the corporate VP will be around for two days, so she'll have plenty of time to meet me if she wants to...

I'm still hoping the part time data person gets up to speed, but it's going to be weeks, at least, before I know whether she can actually do enough of the job to make this part time experiment work... and meanwhile, the reports become more late with each passing day... we shall see if the office situation is settled by the end of the week as was promised... and as for the computer, I'll may have to play another card to expedite that as IT person seems to need a nudge from above from time to time...

so life's presenting obstacles and challenges at home and at work these days and I suppose it's a result of my becoming bored with the status quo (I do have a strange way of bringing odd challenges into life, but it's so easy when living among humans, really)... I don't know if I am more amused with or more disappointed in the fact that people once again demonstrate so effectively just how helkpless and disorganized they are when viewed up close (here I am in my alien zoo walk mode again, aye?)... why do people make things so hard for themselves?... I mean, I know why I do, I enjoy a challenge now and then, but I know I am doing it... most tell me they have no idea what's going on with them minds (or hearts) or their lives...

does this make me an elitist? (wow, me?... would that be cool, maybe, if I could stop smirking like I know a secret nobody else knows... I know somebody else knows it, it just has to be, ya know?)...

and so, another twosday blog entry winds down and the pathetic pathos pours from the pen (or keyboard, in this case) as the eccentric ego eggs on everyone to point fingers and laugh at the synergy of supposed self-mockery... twosday seems to be a day for whining and kvetching... perhaps it is a weekly Jewish holiday...

and so, dear friends, don't forget that there was a monday before today and even thought monday's entry was uploaded tonight, it's still an entry and deserves just as much attention as any entry... yeah, I know, I should make my rounds and visit you and give you attention instead of rambling on and on and on like this, but hey, we've all got to be selfish sometimes to balance out the altruism cuz being a savior every day is hard on the liver, not to mention the pancreas...

I love you, even if you don't know it... and if I could, I'd give you my couch... unfortunately, it's otherwise occupied so perhaps next week... I think we should all get together in a fun place, like maybe, Orlando, where we can let our inner kids out to run around like little kids and play and laugh and giggle and dance to the music and raindrops and sing to the sunshine and share our favorite foods and drinks and shout YAY! as everyone around looks at us with envy (that is envy on their oddly twisted faces, right?) cuz they forgot how to glee (you remember how to glee, right?) and giggle...

hmmm, am I avoiding saying goodnight? :)