blogmad was here

ok, for hours now i've been browsing blogmad! and finding mostly boring advertisements for uninteresting things and people using blogs for get-rich-quick schemes and a whole lot of very specific-niche sites, but every now and then i find something intriguing and i read a bit and save the address (or add it to my blogmad favorites if it really went ding! in my head)... for whatever it's worth, sad or not, many of the blogs are commentless and visitorless... sometimes i wondeer why the author continues writing his/her opinions on sports or games or electronics or knitting or recipes or whatever when no one is reading... and then i consider that i ramble on about whatever, sharing myself in the hope of finding friends or the one, even when nobody was around for a long time (back in the days of my first journals and diaries and pages and long before you wonderful people came around to stick around)...

i guess what strikes me as odd or puzzling is how serious the writers seem to take themselves, their subjects, and their opinions, as if they knew something expertly that everyone absolutely must know immediately and they present it as if they actually have an audience reading, nay, hanging on their every word...

human ego?... arrogance?... the ability to take pretense seriously and dismiss reality and suspend perception of what one does not want to see in a picture that they are staring at intently? (or a situation/experience they are actively and seriously involved in)...

i get the same feeling each time, that it seems so one-sided, pretentious, or something off-kilter about the picture i see as i browse all of these different blogs...

maybe it's me and my perspective that is odd and unique, but that's the point, it doesn't really matter what i think or say if they aren't reading anyway (doh? lol :)

and then there's this whole judgment thing, ratings, rankings, and so on... the point of the site is to get people to read your blog, but many are just lokking for more traffic cuz they get paid a fraction of a penny for each visitor they attract... and the more you browse, the more your blog is put into the rotation to be viewed/viested by others... it's a never ending cycle of browsing as fast as you can to get more credits to get more people to visit your blog (people who are browsing as fast as they can to get more people to visit their page)... and so on...

so many seem to believe you need to read or see something... and there are those blogs that have so much graphic content that they take a minute or more to download even with a fast connection (and long several minutes with my antiquated aircard speed)... and then, so many not updating for months... and some blogs simply gone, but still, one must wait the 25 seconds blogmad demands before moving on to the next blog... to be fair, that's to be fair, but it's all so amusing and here i am spending a saturday evening clicking on the right number to move along to take a look at the next blog... maybe i'll have a browsing entry after eight or ten hours of this, won't that be fun? (note, the sarcasm is not mocking the bloggers or blogmad, in case you don't see me clearly here in these words, the sarcasm is mocking me for spending all this time browsing and not, criticizing people for spending all their time browsing and judging each other... irony, get it, come on, you know you do)...

if you're not laughing with me, i may be laughing at me and at you cuz we all really need to lighten up and enjoy the sharing, ya know? :)

the bottom line for me is blogmad, like all the browsing i do, is like playing the lottery... except i'm not looking for money or fame or anything that most seem to be seeking... nor am i looking for the substitute ethereal online social life so many are also seeking... i am looking for the friend... the intimate... the partner... the one... the people who might relate well enough to me and have similar enough perspectives and interests and beliefs and most of all, physical and energy levels that could lead to physical world connections... while i love dearly the literary sharings (for i do love sharing through words), more than anything, what is missing from life as i know it today is the physical connections offline...

maybe i've got it wrong... maybe i should take my quest as seriously as the others seem to... maybe i should study search engine philosophy and product placement and marketing strategies to get my babbles and my product (me) out there to the masses...

ummmm...

so i've been browsing blogmad! tonight...