we're all nuts in this bag

the bag says almonds, pistachios, walnuts, pecans and the first nine nuts i pull out blind at random are... almonds... now what are the odds?... settling?... well, are almonds the lightest that they would settle least out of those four?... i think two of the four might be lighter, actually... so are almonds the cheapest and thrfor most prevalent?... ah, commercialism and capitalism rides again... wonder if i'd have bought the bag if it said 50% almonds, 20% pistachios, 20% walnuts, 10% pecans, or something like that... six of the next nine are almonds as well... i shook up the bag to be fair and nine out of nine almonds again... i am sorting them now... ironically, almonds are my least favorite of the four on this list, but nuts, i love nuts, so i am still a happy camper...

though if the bag said a whole lot of almonds and a few other nuts, i probably would have passed for another bag of just pistachios... the chocolate almond milk is good though... so is the music of the night... that has to be one of the most slippery seductive love songs around, at least for a music loving fool like me... it is not an easy sing, but it calls to me so deeply... sweet intoxication... definitely one of tim rice's greatest poems and andrew made the music magically carry the message into the soul of the true music lover who trusts music as much as, if not more than anything else...

music, a religion?... you'd be surprised how many live that, even if there is no box to check off on the form... the chocolate almond milk is still good though... kind of like that game where you start the next word with the letter of the last word, or when writing a story by starting the next paragraph with the last word (or words, if you are up for a challenge) of the previous paragraph... or to simplify, just the subject... it keeps a writer (and a reader, perhaps) off balance and interested in where the words might go next... or where they might fall off the page or table or out of the sky or something like that... just when you thought the thought was over, i mean, there it is again in another form in other words in the next paragraph and just as you start thinking there's gonna be another paragraph about the same thing, the paragraph suddenly takes a detour around and about and who knows where...

kind of like that one... or this one... or any, but more precisely, most in the life of a babbler... yes, the music continues to enchant, enthrall, and magically continue the party of life™ (which is, of course, the latest new blog in the ever expanding universe of the written gardens, but don't tell anybody unless you know they want to party)... music really truly is amazing when you trust it...

yeah, cuz even though i've been alone for so long i died with the whippoorwills and cried a zillion tears and forgot the face of my heart and lost myself for years and missed the magic bus and am comfortably numb, this is still where i live (wherever it comes from):

yay anyway!

hey, i'm just gonna party all the time and you're welcome to jump in whenever you feel like it... that's the way thereal is these days... we are the champions and all that, cuz that's what is thereal inside of me when i am not forgetting or otherwise distracting myself from myself with stupid human tricks and an in one of those fuck the world, i ain't getting off places where life goes on with or without me, or you, or the other, or the stuff, or the one, or anything and everything, even... the needy can probably line up and take everything at the moment cuz it's just that way, living, loving, feeling all right in the moment... and i really don't feel all that manic (but i'll lam anyway :)

so another work day spent waiting for others to get their work (and helping them get it done) done so i can start mine passes into history and the day ends in an evening with lasagna and the internet... laundry waits and maybe it'll get done tonight... the unpacking waits and maybe a little more tonight... godot waits and it's about dang time cuz i'm been waiting on that sucker for too many lifetimes... everybody waits, sometimes...

and me, for better or worse i've learned to enjoy being alone so much that even the lonelies are like a big fluffy cloud i watch floating by and when they get heavier, i bounce them around like a big balloon... maybe (shhhh, that's telling) that's the real reason i remain alone, i just don't want to get into human depressions and therapy relationships anymore... and that's thereal report for today...

whatever is going on or off, whatever is right, wrong, overwhelming, or missing, i hope you are making you life fun too :)

(e)thereal, baby, still crazy, still zany, still myself after all these years... and i mean it more than i mean any of the deeper darker stuff... the self-pity and the woe is me is a wasted lazy fantasy but i still feel bad and i still feel sad and i still miss lovers i once had and i still have dreams and i still wish for someone to share everything and more but the bottom line, what i know is mine, is the party going on inside, when all else is dashed or denied, there's still a roller coaster ride and at the bottom line i will not hide, cuz there's a party going on inside...

yeah yeah yeah yea... wonderful wonderfulness and squishy squeezy hugs (all for me if no one is around)... if you don't know what i mean, you don't know what you're missing, like you won't get the words if you do not get the silence and the forest loves the trees like the rivers love the rainbows and the body loves the mind for taking it where dream are real and all you've got to do is let yourself feel all you can feel including fear and doubt and pain cuz that's all food inside your brain and there you can decide to choose to win or fail, succeed or lose by what you give your power... this is your finest hour... choose what you give you power and your whole life will change... even if that seems or sounds impossible or strange...

it's true...

just be you :)


and happy almost birthday mikey :)