midweek

it still goes by like a blur and the weekend rushes up (and is over) way too fast, but I am succeeding in continuing to ramble on in moments between sleep and awake and at work, enough to have more than three dozen entries almost all formatted and ready for upload over at the long lost (and hopefully not forgotten) life in black and white behind the candoor (oh, how formal, using it's full name and all)...

but it's good news, right?...

meanwhile, here in RealTime™ we plod along blogging (or is that blog along plodding?... in any case, we continue)... the seventeen hour marathon entry (that is, the entry written after the seventeen hour work shift, which almost feels like a marathon) was followed, as we can see, by the falling over and disappearing for a couple of days... at least I am slightly rested... and with work days extending toward twelve hours more and more routinely, it's a wonder I have any contacts left outside of work anymore...

hello world...

so any day now a flood will hit the diary and I'll wish for some dear soul to read it all and feel foolish for wanting all my friends to read it all and become depressed when I realize I may have no such friends (or foolishly forget to appreciate the one or two I might have) and then laugh at myself for getting so emotional about loneliness and skip off on to some tangential fun like the good four year old brain I am...

you may ask, why bother doing it if I already know how it'll turn out?... well, I could be flip and say that's why we put on plays after reading the script, but I'll be sincere and tell the deeper real... cuz I hope somebody will understand and share it and enjoy it with me and maybe even someone will feel as I do and...

yes, the same old dream...

I have many other dreams, but this one, the partnership and sharing everything and all that falling in love stuff is still where my heart lives most... so now I ignore all the chores (because it's weekday survival these days) and head for bed... until the next time we meet like this, may you feel even more blessed than I do because you are sharing your blessings even more than I do...

nite nite J