sleep would be good now

I intend to wakey wakey about 6am tomorrow (and intent to shower tonight before going to bed because the roommates shower around the 5-6am time and there'll be little or no hot water if I jump in to the shower at that time) so I can get to work early so I can spread my madness around the offices cuz the boss did make a point to say they really enjoyed going all out for Halloween and so I reluctantly finally (after dragging my feet until the last moment hoping I'd ignore the nudges) went to Party City and spent $150+ on Halloween stuff and I about quadrupled the stuff they already have (they had surprisingly little, even in their own minds)...

I am quite insane, spending fortunes on trivia just for the play of the games... but it's the fun of life and I was rich once, so it's not like I can say I'll never be rich cuz I would be if I decided to be cuz I know how and did it before... I'm just more interested in fun now than in project planning a new financial empire... if you remember the guy who said plastics in film The Graduate then you might benefit from biogenic engineering and waste management or even, to mimic the film even more closely, prosthetics...

kind of like whispering microchips to someone in 1980 or even 1990, but be that as it may be or not to be, after wandering around the new zootle review (reference to children's television not withstanding) and leaving a few comments, I return here to say hello because you love me and miss me when I stay away too long (and so do I) and tell you about whatever stuck to my brain today...

I finished my end of month report with a couple of hours to spare and then wandered about for an hour and a half before taking a call and doing someone else's job out of courtesy and boredom... during that final hour and a half of wandering around, everyone from the top down came to my office door encouraging me to go all out dressing up for tomorrow... you know how I love to please people, so after work, I broke down and gave into peer pressure mostly because I saw how disappointed they all were when they realized how little they had stored from previous years...

in my rebellious way, however, I did not get a happy silly goofy costume... yes, I break rules... now I didn't get wrong by going for gore or anything that would be a direct affront to our fragile youths who are, after all, psychiatric patients with suicidal tendencies (so blood and gore and violent images would not be right)... but I did go darker than anyone else will simply because somebody has to be the scary one at a Halloween party, so I'm gonna be a Grim Reaper like in Dead Like Me (which is a dark comedy, in case you don't know)...

if I found the right costume, I might have gone for a character from Dogma or some other intellectual fare, but huge wings are not exactly ideal for indoors and a Cardinal costume would probably be kind of expensive... and I just don't have the boobs to go as the muse...

anyway, while not sleeping last night, I found 13 mostly complete and at least a dozen partial entries in the pipe for behind the candoor (and here we thought I might have been slacking)... so there's much excitement in the peanut gallery in my brain (where the babbler often goes when he thinks nobody is listening or missing him because he accepts the illusion that the varied perspectives in my mind can be considered different people living in my head so we're not as alone as we might appear if you just viewed the external goings on in this life)...

why are you looking at me funny?... I thought every imaginative kid performs in front of the mirror or at least the mirror of his or her own mind... hey, I could have asked why are you looking at us funny, but I'll leave such playful psychology for otherz (of whom I am several at times, actually, if you must pull back the curtain)...

for those who comprehend the methods to my madness (even a little), you may notice (or simply say doh! of course) that in my transcendental omnipresence, of course, I endeavor to add collaborative impertinence to the collaborative impermanence (here today, gone tomorrow... or here yesterday, gone today... or maybe it is something else... you're lost?... join the club and feel the waste... but you could be on the right track if you start with the understanding that the only constant is that everything is always changing... you say you want a revolution, yeah, I know, we all want to throw an elephant into a black whole, but that's neither here nor there... or anywhere for that matter (or not to be)... but if not, nevermind...

and once again the babbler giggles as he slipped his verbosity into this supposedly brief and to the point real world RealTime™ blog... and then, the tears fall for all the potential lost in the blink of an eye by those afraid to maintain the connection and others who just don't want to (and some convinced that they just don't care)... but soon, there will be a computer that can link and view and enjoy and perhaps even participate in the personal vidjo revolution (if it still exists) and become a star out of my mind (as opposed to simply being a star in my own mind) for a few brief moments... and I'll continue pretending I am an inzider even if I am not privy to all the secrets (there's always hope)...

but what really hurts is when someone erases my words (or hack into my brain and fuck it up, but that's only illusion of perspective, usually associated with the glass half empty point of view shared by depressives and apathetics alike)... of course the joke can always be in me if the words are saved for a player to be named later or a large mammel in another when and where (also known as the illusion of the the glass half full, but just don't push the red button, ok?)...

you'll just have to stay tuned if you are curious or care...

meanwhile, this entry has obviously gotten out of hand and we've lost all track of the daily report of real life in RealTime™ that this was meant to be... look for this entry to expand behind the candoor as oft will happen as long as the babbler doesn't get time to do what a babbler does and must sneak in here to bubble over... work is good, life is good, roommates are good, not enough gym, still eating salads, want to refocus on lifestyle, diet, and body modification, find new computer, fix air conditioning, continue waking up (inside and out)... and still looking for what I haven't found... emphasis on the still looking... yay...

sleepy sleepy time...

zzzzzzz J