I had a big bloo couch once

you may have seen this entry as the Saturday morning entry because it was, but I changed the date from the 28th to the 27th just cuz I can and now there's not two entries for Saturday, mmm, ok?... well it's done, so be it...

all week Rasputin worked past 9pm, which meant Precious looked to me for dinner, which meant I spent a lot of money on food outside the house, which meant I did not stick to my healthy diet, which meant I regressed in my progress toward my goals of whatever my goals were when I set my goals... I forget to collect and he forgets to reimburse and we all go along cuz raising a teenage girl is an expensive undertaking... especially when she's spoiled and shows no interest in taking care of herself or cutting back on expenses... no wonder I have not saved a dime since we've all been living together... love seems to be a very expensive undertaking too...

amusing, no doubt... except when I feel poor and ponder my easy retirement years which will never happen at the rate I am going... but I'm not too hard to please and if I get tired enough of the working world I'll just get me laptop and plug myself into a homeless shelter or few and get fed and keep my brain entertained with the wonders of the internet...

who knows, maybe that's where my life partner has been waiting all along... and though there may be a chuckle among us, there's also a curious eye in a cocked head realizing that anything is possible...

meanwhile, worked piled up this week and I'm booked for Monday all day because the end of the month is Tuesday and they say we don't get much work done on Halloween cuz everybody is supposed to be in costume and having a good old time... I have no idea what to dress up as, but they all expect me to dress up as something... ideas for easy and clever and cool and not too scary (thems the rules, it's a psych hospital, after all) would be much appreciated...

and then there's tomorrow, which is just two hours away, actually... we're supposed to be heading to Tampa to give Precious a tour of a University there, though she and her friend have little to no intention of going, theywant to do the college campus tour thing cuz it's one of the exciting events of senior year in high school... I wouldn't know because I didn't have anyone willing to pay for college for me, which is one reason I skipped off and joined the Army all those years ago, but that's another story...

so if I take a shower I might get about ninety minutes sleep and then a day out... and the more self-interested voices in my head ask when the computer shopping is going to get done and when the air conditioner is going to get fixed and when the bed might get replaced and when will I be loved (Linda Ronstadt, where are you when I need you?... probably looking for Jenny Craig, which is so sad, but I understand all too well, except that I don't cuz there is no reason for her to be so lonely that there's no inspiration around to motivate fitness... at least not for my perspective and motivation, but then, we all have different perspectives and motivations)...

I'm heading for the showers now... anybody in St. Louis, good for you... Pujos deserved it... and Detroit, you did good up to the last four games... that's how all the other teams feel, especially the teams you beat... that's the nature of a short series, one teams is a little hotter than the other and they win and become the best team of the moment (or the week or two)... of course they are crowned best team of the year, but that's just ego food and window dressing... much fun, but mostly illusion like everything else...

so enjoy it St. Louis, it's your party...


oh, and I did have a big bloo couch once... a furry deep bright royal blue couch... I got it in my teens so my friends could hang out without laying all over my bed... it was a good color... and it had mirrors... guess you might say it was a pimp couch... much pimping was done on it, actually... but that's another lifetime ago...

so maybe I'll get a little writing done on Sunday... and take care of other self-interest stuff someday... that elusive someday is feeling far away these days... not always good for the psyche or inner child, all this altruistic generosity of time and money and energy... an imbalance can lead toward self-directed apathy, ambivalence, and even resentment... a fool's game, if you know what I mean...

but when nobody really cares to know in the physical world, then nobody knows and the insides disconnect from the outsides and time just passes before you know it and you wonder when you got off the highway of your life (was that my exit?)... the brain that contains me wants sleep, mostly because this body is begging for some... so nit nite dear readers and friends and may you take note of my mistakes and remember that you should come first at least some of the time or you're lose yourself...

nite nite J