don't mock my pain

well, at least wait until I do :)

someday, when I have a photo blog, you will see evidence of the journey I am traveling in this body this year... they will, most likely, be random shots of this or that, perhaps my left foot cramping or a dripping wet T-Shirt or my nipples bleeding (no pain, no gain, or so some say) or maybe even ad-copy ready before and after shots (alas, there's no before shot, so that idea is shot)...

shoot, aye?... but seriously, I am just returning from two hours on the Lifecycle or Lifefitness machine or whatever it's called by those in the know and the machine tells me that I ran, virtually, 13.13 miles and burned 1320 calories... it was a moderate pace tonight mostly because the body and most especially the nipples could benefit from a day off... some T-shirts are rougher than others and all get wet and heavy and then rub against the nipples... I suppose I should put a smaller T-shirt on and see if that helps... anyway, at a slow pace in a soft T, not much problem... at a moderate pace in a soft T, usually not bad, though duration matters and two hours non-stop is a lot of friction...

tonight I put on one of my favorite soft T shirts, a Circa Survive T-shirt that has someone sitting backward riding a large kidney shaped being... the being has several long legs and feet in the shape of hearts... there was only minimal cries from the nipples until I turned up the pace in the last half hour, but hardly anything to notice... apparently, some time during the second hour, the nipples went numb because in the last couple of minutes I noticed a trail of blood several inches long spreading downward from both nipples, the red was literally bleeding into the sweat that was already saturating the light blue T-shirt...

the odd kidney shaped being on the shirt seemed to be laughing and pondering licking the blood, or tmy nipple, but that might have just been in my imagination...

suddenly, I felt the seering pain... amazing what not noticing signs of pain can do... it almost completely took my mind off my left foot (my actual foot, not the film) which was, until I noticed the nipples, screaming as I was struggling to find the right position and movement to prevent further cramping... I think I may pronate a bit too much with the left foot and the cramping is a result...

I know I have mentioned this phenomenon before, the bleeding nipples, that is... in fact, I seem to recall thatan entire entry dedicated to the nipples once upon a time behind the candoor... or twice, even... I remember that Annie, one of the dearest people I've met online, laughed a lot... but then, she loves me lots, so she's bias... I was probably a lot funnier back then... after all, Z says I've gotten serious and depressing lately... maybe I am getting old, or letting it happen, or was until I started waking the body up again (and facing the results of neglect, deterioration, and the aging process) and hopefully will wake my mind up to where it was or even new and exciting levels of enlightenment and ascension and humors any day now... come to think of it, the nipple entry may have been in the land of the mostly dead...

in finding that entry, I just got a whiff of the volume of words I've put online since the turn of the millenium... wow, I used to write a lot... so much pristine water under the bridge, untouched, unread, understanding... and I hardly ever wrote about nipples... well, at least not mine...

Rasputin is sick again... sniffling, sneezing, coughing... sounds terrible... of course he cooked spaghetti and meat sauce tonight and I had some... he makes the meat sauce by breaking up the chop meat with his fingers and dropping it in little bits into a frying pan... while coughing, sneezing, sniffling, and wiping his nose between breaking up meat... he rarely covers his mouth... he doesn't wash his hands much... no wonder he gets sick a lot... he's lovable, but really has some unhealthy habits... but then, I guess most people do not wash their hands a lot compared to me and other hospital workers... Precious will probably be sick soon... the use a lot of Ibuprophen and Nyquil and Sudafed...

I shouted at trail of blood on the T-shirt with the odd being with heart feet and threw it hopefully in the wash... the kidneys seem to be ok after the two hours at the gym... that's good... the cramp went away... that's good... the nipples are still sore... but it's the weekend, if I skip the gym tomorrow I will continue the pattern of the last few weeks which is weight rise on weekends... of course I could eat less and not indulge my more decadent taste buds... I think my chocolate taste buds must think I've died and not exactly ended up in any sort of heaven-type place... I think I am getting a bit random... I'm tired... I'm hungry...

wow, I really have gotten depressing... maybe I need a break... a change... or a return to the mindset I left behind the candoor... something old, something new... borrowed?... blue?... married?... no thanks, I'm trying to cut down...

ok, you can mock my pain now :)

time for sleep...