life, love, and marking time

I didn't plan ahead and take the day off, so I won't be experiencing the depths that a first of May can bring me to as much this year as I have in years past... in fact, it's been more than a few years since I truly dug into the wonder-filled wonderful feelings this date inspires in me... while there's a definite bittersweet aspect, summed up well in the BeeGees song First of May - there is mostly the beautifully euphoric feeling of rebirth and anything is possible and love is forever that inspires the one of the most peacefully content moments and moods I know (and maybe that slipped out and into my comments elsewhere tonight...

not sleeping tonight would not be wise :)

(he types with a glint in his eye)...

meanwhile, back at the unpredictable drive that is beyond improbable, but perhaps not quite as impossible as it may seem sometimes, otherwise known as my mind, quite loosely speaking, of course, I was not actually attempting to see just how many commas I could place into a sentence, really, but was thinking about something else when I was suddenly interrupted by myself with an outreageous idea that sleep is an illusionary need, which leads to the philosophical pondering that life itself might be an illusionary event that we observe from within, or something like that...

so I cut up some onions and mushrooms and fried up a large chunck of cow, ribeye, bone-in, to be precise... impulse will be the death of me, to coin a phrase, but now I have way too many callories bubbling around my system to lay down and sleep so here we are again, several hours later, and even though I already ate more calories than I intended to eat today, I can already feeling the muscle cells feeding off the protein (and cholesterol sludging through my veins) and except for the occasional chest pain, I feel wonderful...

just kidding about the chest pain, I think... of course it's not as funny if I don't leave you wondering, so forget I thought... unless you don't have a sense of humor that finds irreverent morbidity and uncertainty funny, in which case you can rest easy and accept that the thought... senses of humor are funny things, after all, sometimes fragile, even, but definitely too often misunderstood... that's probably why there are all these wars thrughout history, people just don't get each others jokes... like it was probably not the best of ideas to tell the Hitler joke in the temple, but that's another story...

a girl just fell out of a box on TV...now some might think that hysterical (and on several levels, as well), but others would not... I find it all amusing, mostly, except when it really hurts someone else and they don't get how even pain can be amusing... most people don't, I suppose, but that doesn't make it any less funny to someone who does... well, maybe a little less funny when we think about how sad it is that most people don't get the joke... it's funny how funny can be sad sometimes, aye?...

feed me a heavy meal at 3am and this is what happens... I take nearly nothing seriously... then again, I actually take nearly very seriously, but hardly ever is anybody nearly these days... and those were very sad times, back when those BeeGees songs became part of Tape 62 as I tried to find the words through music to express the loss I felt when Amy walked away... but then, that's the other holiday, the dark side... today is the good holiday, the beginning of everything, the first kiss...

not the first first kiss, though, but the first kiss that was the last kiss I ever wanted to kiss... the single most satisfying kiss that ever was kissed, way better than even the kiss at the end of The Princess Bride which, as we all know, far surpaces the five greatest kisses that were ever kissed... the writer did not know about it, which made for a much better story...

yes, it is time to wander elsewhere and babble a bit... eventually, most babble will find it's way out from behind the candoor, but for now, I'll just throw words into the big pot that is the babble files and let them stew around a bit... and myspace, it's time to visit myspace again... just cuz it's the middle of the night and I'm wired and might leave some really odd messages for strangers...

so anyway, I did get to work today... a little... most of the day was spent trying to fix the computer that the IT person did not fix, even though she left herself logged in from Thursday... in fact, more was screwed up... but now everything is mostly ok except that I need to run Detect and Repair on MS Office and my Outlook Address book is gone... I would have run D & R today, but the IT person was off again and after the Comptroller and I searched her office for the MS Office Disks, we found no sign of Disk one, just an empty case... that's what they get for hiring an IT person at a ridiculously low salary that only a student who was allowed to work part time would take... and this during a period where we are changing coprorate servers and setting up more than a dozen new computer systems... so I was on the phone with the Systems Admin III in Tennessee for a couple of hours today and things are mostly fixed (and I have Admin priviledges on my computer, for now)... tomorrow, I hope to actually get some of my work done... like last months end of month reports...

I also got to the Urologist today and I was impressed by his doctoring... he made eye contact consistently and explained in detail everything he thought about my history and lab tests and took me seriously and best of all, was one of the most upbeat doctors I've ever met... he gave me an emergency script for Bactrim in case I get another UTI and collection cups and insisted I call and drop off some urine anytime I think I might be passing a stone or getting sick... and he added kidney-related stuff to the ultra sound order and will zap any stones they find with a sonic zapper... I felt like he actually listened and heard and cared and knew what he was doing... yay for a lucky pick of doctors...

meanwhile, my primary doctor had her receptionist or nurse call to tell me that the stuff in the big orange bottle (see previous entries) was tested and she wants me to see a kidney doctor... I'm not letting her pick this one though... I think she's got a scam going with other doctors who have similar pessimistic perspectives... well, ok, not a scam... a covent...

just kidding again, in case you wondered... about the covent, that is... I did get to see the lab results from the GI doctor, finally, no thanks to him or his office people... the Urology nirse made me a copy after my primary doctor sent one... and nothing at all was out of range in any of the special liver tests he ordered... the fuss about my kidneys was started because there was red blood cells in my urine... of course there was, first off, most kidney stone people have a few red blood cells in their urine quite often and I told the GI guy I felt a blockage and thought I was passing a stone that very day and that's why I insisted her order the urinalysis (which he resisted ordering, if you recall)... the Urology doc kind of went "well, DUH!" and we laughed...

and then, I napped when I got home... I gave into sleep instead of watching the Monday night shows I like, Enterprise and 24... that was after breaking my pattern of strict diet on weekdays by pulling some of the leftover Itlalian food out of the freezer... yes, I did... and I almost didn't get to the gym... luckily, I dragged myself there and obviously, after pushing through the sluggishness, woke up...

then it was home again home again coo coo ka choo and I visited you guys and left comments and started this here entry right here that you are reading with your very own eyes right now at this moment... and this moment too... and now, again...

all caught up on today and it's time to skip off elsewhere for whatever fun and mischief I can find... it's good to find time to babble out here again... I haven't spent this much time on the net in weeks... having too much fun living large in my mind... hopw you're finding your fun too, wherever it is, let it be wherever you are :)