peeling the onion again

more and more, i am beginning to believe that developing a social life, no less finding a partner, may be a full time job or more, a lifestyle… and t might be that such a lifestyle, to be successful, does not allow the time with words, this babbling time that i so adore… this is how i've kept life, hope, positivity, and every good thing there may still be alive and active in my brain in spite of the lack of interaction and, at times, limited to no use outside of the written gardens… this is how i survived the worst loses, abuses, torturous experiences… this is where i live and it is quite likely, this is who i am…

there is just so little time to devote to the travel, waiting, and social games that seem required before people will let their facades down and just be real so we might actually begin to experience whatever meaningful interaction there could be between us… i wonder if i have reached a point in life where i wonder if it is worth the time… shiver my timbers, why don’t i…

meanwhile, in other news, the viral woodie is an award given to new bands based on votes by the MTV generation online at MTVU (MTV University, cha)… and guess who was in the final four?... our very own Meg & Dia… yup, right up there with three of the hottest young bands in the business (who you may never have heard of, though Linkin Park has been around a while (and who has a great CD out this year) and Fall Out Boy has been one of the biggest new bands of the last year or two and the winner, The Academy Is… just happens to be a band Precious and I saw last week cuz she picked them to go big two summers ago at the 2006 warped tour)…

looking for a keychain-type xmas gift are you?...

and if you've got time to waste exploring the changes i almost constantly make to my web world, you might have noticed that besides the two new blogs subtly alluded to in the previous entry, the sidebar of this blog, especially the music section, was rearranged and organized a bit more as some more favorite musical artists, old and new, were added… with each passing year bands and solo artists are learning (or being told to hire someone who knows) how to present themselves on the web and being a web lover (that is, lover of the web world, not meaning to infer a cyber sexual innuendo of any sort), orgasms surely follow (of course i musical orgasms, and emotional, and ok, some physical experiences of euphoria that are like orgasms, but i still am not subliminally inserting sexual undertones into this elongated narrative, really)…

yeah, so i have more musical websites listed and rearranged the lists into a hierarchy of perennial and peak favorites, old and new influences and inspirations, and brand new excitements… and speaking of excitements, I would love to own this statue… now before you get all perverse on me, i'll be the first to acknowledge the sensuality and stimulating quality, but have you read what's behind the sculpted body?... surely there's a lot more than masturbatory fantasies in the human mind and art and eyes… and speaking of meditative contortions (not to mention Melanie and Meg & Dia)...

time is an illusion
when you are not here
time is an illusion
it can disappear
the moment you are near
as sappy as that seems
when you are with me
i no longer need dreams

ah yes, time is certainly an illusion for a hopelessly hopeful romantic like me... sometimes it is a nightmarishly indefinite illusion, kind of like a black hole... sometimes it does not seem to exist... I like it better that way...

so the last time i visited here, PJ was a year younger... PJ is a dear memory, a beautiful flower in the garden of my mind who just happened to have as a birth date the same date of my last post here... i miss her, but then, i miss everyone i've loved in this life, or anywhere, for that matter...

i still babble daily online, elsewhere (dot net my name for starters), that nameless big secret real sharing place that doesn't charge (please don't delete this for it's honesty)... like the beatles said, you know my name, look up my number...

if you are going to san francisco
wear a smile and a flower in your hair
and if you are going to orlando
look up candor and you will find me there

ric candor was a wandering mistrel of old
a vagabond at times who seldom did as he was told
he sang with harry chapin trying to wake up the heart
of humanity cuz that is where the god life can start

oh, ric candor, don't you cry for me
cuz i come from new york city
and my true love i don't see

oh, ric candor, you laugh at yourself
cuz no one gets your jokes as much
as the books on your shelf

and if you are going to hawai'i
tell kawehi tom i love the way she sings
and if you are going back up to toronto
tell the kids they still play all my heart strings

and once there was a child named ricky held
who took everything so seriously
he spent his whole life making up for
the childhood he lost to misery

oh, ricky held, don't you cry for me
cuz i come from los angeles
and my true love i don't see

oh, ricky held, you can laugh finally
cuz the bandit has your funny bone
and true love is still free

so if you are going to high to santa fe
find the dawn child in misty memory
and if you are going up to seattle
find the golden child she in fantasy

ric candor was a troubadour trying to save the world
singing for his supper as so many still do
he sang with elvis and elton and the beatles too
and if you want to come over, he will sing with you

oh, ric candor, when will this dang song end
if nobody is laughing they don't get the joke, yo
oh ric candor, just looking for a friend
it's still the same old story, everywhere we go
still the same old story, just to let you know
still the same old story, now it's time to go