holy johasenpheffer
it was a night much like any other night, the wind blowing softly through the trees, the smell of magnolia in the air, a soft mist curling around the land giving peripheral vision a calm, fuzzy appearance... and then i was driving home...
after work, after the batting cages, after the game, after hanging with the team and playing darts and drinking a few beers (yes, Heineken reacquainted itself with this body i inhabit after quite a few years without talking) and suddenly i heard the voice in my head that usually curses at me and asks the obvious questions...
what the fuck are you doing to yourself?
since i don't fuck around with the word fuck too often, it usually gets my attention when the voice, heretofore to be known as the fucking voice in my head, speaks up as if it just woke up and realized something so obvious that i must be a fool to have missed it... of course this usually is reserved for (or leads me back to) the lands of the mostly dead (see sidebar for links if you are new here and simply must satisfy your insatiable, or even slight, curiosity)...
it was the wake up call that comes now and then when i am in a self-destructive loop or simply neglecting self-care in some way, life maybe bloating up and tossing away years of life by not exercising and eating too extreme and not regulating sugar levels and blood pressure and all the systems and organs and stuff that make the body go on and on and on and...
i suppose a majority of people might believe it is impossible, but not i, don quixote, the lord of la mancha, la la la la la la la la... poncho, my armor!... poncho my sword!... poncho, my ass! (no, that wasn't a gay joke, he rode a donkey, don't you know the story?... well you see, these windmills started talking to this nice man who lived in the country and there was a misunderstanding and they had a falling out and all sorts of people got involved and riled up and... ok, let it be)...
so i stepped out of the car (remember, then i was driving home) as started to run... well, it wasn't that magical, actually... i brought my clothes upstairs and went back down to the car and got my chronograph and some paper towels (cuz i didn't have a hanky or small towel) and off i went, one foot in front of the other, like i had actually maybe gotten some rest and had all this entra energy to burn off after midnight...
ah, midnight, my personal witching hour (and no, i am not cinderella, nor cinderfella neither) when for whatever reason the cosmos may tell me one day, or not, the energy level in this body rises and sometimes, bouncing is all that is left to do... so i bounced along for just over five miles and hopped up the stairs and took a nice moderately warm shower and here we are...
going on 3am... not the song, the time... wide awake and forgetting that i have not slept much in recent weeks except for about once a week when i indulge the body in nodding off in the big green chair and letting sleep swallow me whole, so whole that i don't remember dreams, but i know i usually enjoy them...
yeah, so anyway, then i came to email and found you left some comments so i came to read and just look at with you inspired:
but you know this already, so it's here for the others (hello others :)
i adore you too, even if we never share the feeling, it's good to know it's here... just think about it, maybe it'll get in and make sense... cuz that's what friends are for, you oughta know (strange brew, the cream rising these days, but that is of course musical code for and now for something completely different)...
oragutang soup, watch out for the bones... and if it's hairy, they didn't clean the poor thing well enough before cooking... though there are gourmets who swear the hair enhances the flavor, not to mention doubles as dental floss, which is handy after eating oragutang soup cuz the meat is a little stringy and can get caught in your teeth, kind of like pot roast, though it tastes more like people...
tomorrow's game is canceled on account of the holiday... can't play softball when people want to blow up things on the field... if i suggest that we are quite the destructive species, would that be considered anti-patriotic?... or un, even?...
oh say can you see?...
meanwhile, back to the narcissism of the moment, what really matters is that i am not in love, so don't forget it... and what the fuck am i doing to myself, anyway?... fucking voice in my head, always waits until i am good and engrained in bad habits before it wakes up with the DUH! the DOH! and the uh-huh...
people keep calling my phone... it is so weird... they do not know my history of phone trauma and expect me to use the phone like any normal high school sweetheart... seems i got some s'plainin to do, or so i am told... don't know why, but this, or something remotely like it contained within might come to mind if i had a mind to explore my mind to mind whatever it is i might be not minding, but nevermind, this has little to do with the babbling i do in print on the web, right?...
are you listening? (shhhh, i can hear you :)
so anyway, i am going more and more public and i am now an official assistant organizer of the biggest meetup group in orlando... i found out tonight when i got home and checked email and found one, an email, that is, that told me i was organizing a meetup next Saturday (12th)... like wow, it i was control freaky about my life i just might raise an eyebrow, but then, i did said i'd go the the show and help so cool beans (one of these days i'll learn how to use the website myself :)
i'm not an official assistant organizer in the group i am hosting for this Sunday, so being named officially is a lot of trust, i think, and it's the biggest group in orlando no less... i feel so special (no, look past my usually facetiousness, i really do feel kinda gooey inside being publically recognized by a relative stranger (we met once) as someone trustworthy...
see, a lot to holy johasenpheffer about, aye?...
ok, wide awake at 4am, but time to get about 4 hours sleep... so take care my little johasenpheffers, more adoration for your being alive will follow shortly, or rather long-windedly, to be more precise (oxymoronic metaphors and mixed similes are so much fun are so much fun are so much fun are... hiccup)... I'll catch up on the week in another entry...
nite nite :)
after work, after the batting cages, after the game, after hanging with the team and playing darts and drinking a few beers (yes, Heineken reacquainted itself with this body i inhabit after quite a few years without talking) and suddenly i heard the voice in my head that usually curses at me and asks the obvious questions...
what the fuck are you doing to yourself?
since i don't fuck around with the word fuck too often, it usually gets my attention when the voice, heretofore to be known as the fucking voice in my head, speaks up as if it just woke up and realized something so obvious that i must be a fool to have missed it... of course this usually is reserved for (or leads me back to) the lands of the mostly dead (see sidebar for links if you are new here and simply must satisfy your insatiable, or even slight, curiosity)...
it was the wake up call that comes now and then when i am in a self-destructive loop or simply neglecting self-care in some way, life maybe bloating up and tossing away years of life by not exercising and eating too extreme and not regulating sugar levels and blood pressure and all the systems and organs and stuff that make the body go on and on and on and...
i suppose a majority of people might believe it is impossible, but not i, don quixote, the lord of la mancha, la la la la la la la la... poncho, my armor!... poncho my sword!... poncho, my ass! (no, that wasn't a gay joke, he rode a donkey, don't you know the story?... well you see, these windmills started talking to this nice man who lived in the country and there was a misunderstanding and they had a falling out and all sorts of people got involved and riled up and... ok, let it be)...
so i stepped out of the car (remember, then i was driving home) as started to run... well, it wasn't that magical, actually... i brought my clothes upstairs and went back down to the car and got my chronograph and some paper towels (cuz i didn't have a hanky or small towel) and off i went, one foot in front of the other, like i had actually maybe gotten some rest and had all this entra energy to burn off after midnight...
ah, midnight, my personal witching hour (and no, i am not cinderella, nor cinderfella neither) when for whatever reason the cosmos may tell me one day, or not, the energy level in this body rises and sometimes, bouncing is all that is left to do... so i bounced along for just over five miles and hopped up the stairs and took a nice moderately warm shower and here we are...
going on 3am... not the song, the time... wide awake and forgetting that i have not slept much in recent weeks except for about once a week when i indulge the body in nodding off in the big green chair and letting sleep swallow me whole, so whole that i don't remember dreams, but i know i usually enjoy them...
yeah, so anyway, then i came to email and found you left some comments so i came to read and just look at with you inspired:
ho ho ho! :)
I really should be keeping up with you and the realtime every night, but then, i've been known to not do what i should do more often than i do what i should do even when i should do what i should do...
shudoo shudoo...
mmmmm, donuts (triple glazing)...
meanwhile, you are wonderful to be here (f course it's still a thrill)... and hope, hope is like mawwaige, a sake-wed twadishun...
ain't no sufferin in my hope, my hope is s drug, the highest high (Tommy knew... you'd laugh and say nothing's that simple :)
numbers got rights!
punctuation, not so much :)
elipsises for president!
i adore you, maybe more than you adore you, but that's ok, cuz i'll be right here adoring you when you finally adore yourself as much as you deserve to be adored...
respected and love and set free and fearless and real too :)
it's a goofy night, i'll tell you more about it in an entry :)
but you know this already, so it's here for the others (hello others :)
i adore you too, even if we never share the feeling, it's good to know it's here... just think about it, maybe it'll get in and make sense... cuz that's what friends are for, you oughta know (strange brew, the cream rising these days, but that is of course musical code for and now for something completely different)...
oragutang soup, watch out for the bones... and if it's hairy, they didn't clean the poor thing well enough before cooking... though there are gourmets who swear the hair enhances the flavor, not to mention doubles as dental floss, which is handy after eating oragutang soup cuz the meat is a little stringy and can get caught in your teeth, kind of like pot roast, though it tastes more like people...
tomorrow's game is canceled on account of the holiday... can't play softball when people want to blow up things on the field... if i suggest that we are quite the destructive species, would that be considered anti-patriotic?... or un, even?...
oh say can you see?...
meanwhile, back to the narcissism of the moment, what really matters is that i am not in love, so don't forget it... and what the fuck am i doing to myself, anyway?... fucking voice in my head, always waits until i am good and engrained in bad habits before it wakes up with the DUH! the DOH! and the uh-huh...
people keep calling my phone... it is so weird... they do not know my history of phone trauma and expect me to use the phone like any normal high school sweetheart... seems i got some s'plainin to do, or so i am told... don't know why, but this, or something remotely like it contained within might come to mind if i had a mind to explore my mind to mind whatever it is i might be not minding, but nevermind, this has little to do with the babbling i do in print on the web, right?...
are you listening? (shhhh, i can hear you :)
so anyway, i am going more and more public and i am now an official assistant organizer of the biggest meetup group in orlando... i found out tonight when i got home and checked email and found one, an email, that is, that told me i was organizing a meetup next Saturday (12th)... like wow, it i was control freaky about my life i just might raise an eyebrow, but then, i did said i'd go the the show and help so cool beans (one of these days i'll learn how to use the website myself :)
i'm not an official assistant organizer in the group i am hosting for this Sunday, so being named officially is a lot of trust, i think, and it's the biggest group in orlando no less... i feel so special (no, look past my usually facetiousness, i really do feel kinda gooey inside being publically recognized by a relative stranger (we met once) as someone trustworthy...
see, a lot to holy johasenpheffer about, aye?...
ok, wide awake at 4am, but time to get about 4 hours sleep... so take care my little johasenpheffers, more adoration for your being alive will follow shortly, or rather long-windedly, to be more precise (oxymoronic metaphors and mixed similes are so much fun are so much fun are so much fun are... hiccup)... I'll catch up on the week in another entry...
nite nite :)
Labels: adoration, amused, appreciation, away, beliefs, bftp, bloat, corpbull, dichotomy, doh, giggles, huh?
posted by candoor at 2:24 AM
7 Comments:
running (at your age and cheap shoes) is only for breaking knees.
swimming on the other hand, makes a back strong and transforms fat into lean muscle.
tai-chi (wu style) on dewey grass while gazing in the rising sun, makes a body indestructible until it dies of old age.
get with j and practice at least every other morning if not at sundown as well.
godspeed!
hey, my shoes are young and expensive (New Balance, $130) :)
feeling wonderful tonight - more awake again - must run more :)
running is the third second best breathing feeling I know ... or the fourth, but it's definitely either third of fourth...
and running makes all the other great breathing feelings better cuz stamina and lung exercise and breathing muscles and diaphragm workouts optimizes breathing feelings :)
i'd rather run a my speed though :)
`
you are running with inertia!
i had $160 nike bought in a store where sales folk talked in terms of pronation of supination and it didn't do anything to save the fissure line fractures from taking me out of the marathon circuit.
Wow, I don't think I've ever paid more than about $60 for shoes, and I always thought that was expensive. For $160, it seems they ought to come with wings so you can fly.
only goes to show it's not the shows as much as it is the body and the motion of the legs... some bodies are more built for running, the legs seem to withstand the pounding... some bodies so not have the same leg resilliency... maybe it's genetics... i know that when i started running as a little kid, i would feel strain in knees and different parts of the leg, but concentrating on positioning my feet straight forward with ech step and landing a certain way (it was meditative concentration) removed any pain and it just became habit so these well worn legs can do 5 miles now and while major muscles tighten from lack of regular vigorous use and regular stretching, no joint or join muscles speak up at all...
more inertia than ever, which requires more focus than ever i suppose, but i make little conscious effort to do anything during the run other than breath, as stamina is what is most missing these days... just takes time and daily workouts to rebuild lung capacity and oxygen flow...
dropping some of the excess weight would help a lot too... any day, now, maybe )
you want to lose weight fast, right?
max calorie burner thing to do that's fun (and can be done with meetup folk) you ask?
racquetball
but if you're stubborn to do what "you've always done and found it worked, so why won't it continue to work forever" at least please be sensible and don't run on pavement.
please don't hate me for giving you "advice" i know you know everything and there's no body there to take care of whatsoever either, but since you asked yourself "what the fuck am i doing to myself" i thought i'd answer somewhat constructively, which is very fucking rare in my case.
anyway, the fireworks were pretty good downtown last night and there was no traffic either, because i took the trolley.
they had one or two spreads that looked like cubes, now that was something new in terms of cracker detonation technology.
i agree, racketball is a good burner, though since my hamstring tear i've been avoiding sudden stops and starts like racketball or tennis... and it does work better with a partner and i don't have anyone to play those games with in spite of asking people... i used to work out with paddleball by myself and that was a lot of running and bending and workout, so maybe i'll consider that too... indo want more balance though and my left arm/side does not get enough work, so maybe i'll try racketball lefty :)
the key is every day for ay least an hour and i have been busy doing so many other things (and not sleeping) that i have not fit the hour (plus clean up time) in and without good rest, the chances of muscle injuries with sudden stop-go activities increases at my advanced body age :)
you know i love you and ought to know i appreciate your advice, fucking rare as it is :)
cudes, cool... the fireworks downtown here were lame... nothing compared to the theme parks on any given night, which is where i'll head next year if i choose to watch fireworks :)
keep showing the love, you're much better at it than you think :)
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