dang, forgot a title again
nobody knows we're there (oooo, slipped that one right by you, aye?)...
if you are wondering what, or why, or where and when, even, no worries, we'll be on to a completely different irreverent and confusing series of almost topics any moment now and you can relieve yourself as you please during the intermission... so starting off in the real, or at least stepping closer to it with these words, another day at the workplace and accomplishments galore, though still not as much as if i had a laptop there, so their loss cuz my productivity goes down every month (and everybody thinks it's going up and tells me to tone it down, streamline, and all that great supportive encouragement most misunderstood geniuses get... see, i've laid a lot of groundwork with spreadsheets and databases and can spit out reports that baffle just about everybody, so they think i'm doing a lot of work, and i am, but just not what i could be doing in less time...
and i'm getting two part time assistants trained in dazzling fashion (they are training each other) while i am doing the meetings and fancy dancing and enjoying the autonomy and growing respect, however begrudgingly given, and don't look now, but tomorrow i just may rock the boat just to see who stands up and points fingers at who should be the first to fall out (you do see the irony of standing up and getting over-excited in a boat already rocking, don'tcha?).... people really do not understand the humor of irreverence too well, especially when they are afraid of their shadows, as so many are... shadows can be so amusing, if they only knew...
so anyway, i hope you shared a good night with someone you love and if not, well, i hope you prefer to sleep alone and if not, well, i hope you find someone you are comfortable sleeping with soon, and if not, i hope you made the best of your love, your dreams, and your time alone...
so what can we say about all the words poured out all over the place without any real focus or drive (yes, even if you found all twenty or so entries sprinkled all about the web, from my perspective it was a lazy babbler and only semi-motivated muse this weekend, certainly not any level of excitement to write home about, but then, there's been no home for so long, and that was just imaginary when it did exist for real, get it?... yes, i must say (without the alfalfa hair-do or waggle in the wiggle, this weekend cuz of all the interruptions, but at least the brain has a little more room for the rest of the week or so and hopefully i'll find either the person who can take a mind-meld (which is so much more effective and more fun than a mind dump) or i will find time for an even better mind dump real soon (cuz a constipated mind is a stinky think to waste)... historically (and hysterically), december has always been a good month for the babbler (and the heart of the matter), though i must make time as activities are too readily available if i do not get a little selfish with my me time, ya know?...
i leave you with lots of words for you to catch up on in at least a dozen different places and even more pages, if you find the time... if not, maybe next life... and if you happen to bump into someone who you might think can keep up with me and is crazy enough to be kind of compatible with me, do give them my number... listening to the music, the sheer diversity suggests that there must be somebody out there who has similar enough genes and physical development and mental capitulators and emotional capacitators and thereal connections and the rest of whatever is needed to relate and bond with me, wherever i may be... and while i am not one to invest everything in any one rationality (no less logic), except, of course, love, which may or may not be a dichotomy or hypocritical oath, i embrace the delights and divines and de dreams that the monsters of the board rooms may never understand... so please take much thanks and love and wonderfulness and make the same and more today in your world :)
Labels: amused, appreciation, babble, bloat, dichotomy, doh, dreams, emusing, giggle, goof, greek, hope, huh?, lam, loneli, mttm, music, perspective, thereal, work
8 Comments:
yum...papaya :)
out of town and sleepy...just dropping in to say hello...
hello :)
and
hug
-s
aka
-j
hello hug :)
stopped by between work and softball cuz there's no good batting cages in this area... i really want to get to one... softball withdrawals suck... lam :)
thanks for stopping by, wherever you are... have fun :)
in aridzona
the air is dry, but the sky is beautiful and black and clear and giving a celestial show every night :)
hugs :)
i forgot what dry air feels like...
oklahoma city in october, nashville, not exactly dry... i haven't been anywhere else outside of florida since the nineties... weird, but still love the semi-tropical climate here, so i stay... body comforts outweigh all the others (as the belly testifies)...
enjoying az? :)
hugs :)
i'm trying hard to enjoy it...the first week i was grumbly and complainy cuz my skin is dry and my poor hair is taking a beating and can't be conditioned enough and then i started feeling sorry for myself cuz i wanna be somewhere with snow and sleigh bells and hot cocoa and snuggling and then i sorta had this kick in the pants administered by myself and realized how grateful i really am to be anywhere, even if it is here cuz there are experiences to be had anywhere you find yourself and i took a picture of the moon venus jupiter trinity which was just amazingly beautiful in the blackest of skies
and as i read your post above this one i wonder ..on the one hand you long so deeply for her, on the other hand you seem to keep her at arm's length...you do seem for the most part happy on your own...and there have been times i have wondered when reading the beautiful writings of your loves of yesterday how could anyone possibly come into your life in the present that you could measure up and that you could actually see when you have had the love of your life in the past with so many years of what seems to be nurturing and growth in your heart, and then there is fear and withdrawal that you at times project too, (understandable as it is for how you have been hurt in love in the past) but maybe you are keeping her at arm's length because you are afraid and other people who could recommend you have just assumed you aren't interested...
don't listen to me though cuz i am certainly not one to be dispensing observations and don't even know you in person and so rarely comment on such things because i feel so poorly qualified to observe when i have enough to do to observe myself without poking around in observations about anyone else
hugs and more hugs and then when they are done...some more hugs too :)
just getting back from three hours of six on six softball (with me pitching and covering home for both teams cuz six on six means no catcher) and here's this box open waiting for my response cuz i ran out of time to respond when i first opened it...
good, enjoy :)
even if there's a circuitous route to get there, it is good to be enjoying :)
and the self-pity or reality entry is probably all a matter of perspective... either way, it is reality... feeling sorry for myself is a choice, a reaction to the reality... so i'm choosing to enjoy much more cuz i keep remembering that much more...
i suppose the bloat keeps people at arms length as i am not comfortable sharing the bloated body and being not comfortable is a "stay away" sign, but still, that would not stop me if i was attracted to and cared about someone...
age, in this human world, is another factor for i do not meet people i can relate to at all who are my age... high-energy active people are not easy to find... and i am way below the energy level and activity level i am comfortable at and still i am way too active and diverse...
i know the answer is dropping the bloat and returning to my comfort zone energy level and it is foolish of me not to, for it does contribute to my being alone...
maybe tonight i'll start again...
and as i laugh at myself, i ponder what's for dinner... maybe hot soup, it's gonna be in the 40s tonight, that's winter around here... thank you much for responding to the words... keep enjoying and hugging and enjoying more :)
40s in florida? who woulda thought...though we do get the 40s on the other coast too which surprises a lot of people...
been cold at night in az...a hot bath with a book ends the day nicely...
hugs are always in plentiful supply...i do so love the hug, in whichever or whatever form :)
off to the bath now with the zahir
for me, the bath is memories, nostalgia rushes over me... it feels so good... it feels so strange... it feels so much, so much... how long have i been this out of touch? (a voice wonders softly) how long have i been this out of touch....
the best thing about being lost, is being found again and getting lost together...
a book is good too :)
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