reverse psychblogogy (part three)

this is part three of your holiday message, or massage, if you are wise and following instructions… but remember, it is important that you fit the parts together just right for maximum satisfaction, so be sure to read and experience part one and two, preferably in that order, before coming again to part three… and i do hope you are coming again, because if you are not, you missed the whole point and certainly have issues following instructions… so part two is here and part two is here…

come back after you’ve come there…



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now, hopefully you’ve all experienced a hug in this life, and not a one-armed wrap-around puckish hug… i mean a full out two armed wrap yourself around someone squish-with-all-you’ve-got kind of hug… sadly, few humans remember how to do that after puberty… some hormone must destroy the best of the memory cells or something… but it is not impossible to remember how and certainly not impossible to actually do it, so do it… reach out and hug someone right now…

remember when i asked you if you ever wanna be a tree?... well, you may have already answered, but i didn’t… no, i really didn’t and if you read the parts in order you’d know that… and if you did not get your parts in the right place, well, then you only have yourself to blame if you do not feel fully satisfied or in any way uncomfortable…

the fact is, the first tree hugger does nothing for my tree-wanna-be-ness… but ask me again now and i will unequivocally respond without a doubt and in all certainty i do, and i do every time i see this photo above… if you happen to see this girl, please send her to me at once… but we digress (regress?), no less, and the tree is so innocent, how could you possible find the photo a turn on… perverts, every one of you…

and you should be dang proud of yourself too…

so this brings us to my holiday desktop photo (oh really?)... and no, it was not the jump for joy in the previous entry (i am so shocked you would think so), nor the adorable hugger above (though you will send her right over if you happen to bump into her in the forest or anywhere, right?)… actually (seriously), i am considering asking the artist for permission to use the photo (the desktop holiday photo) for my holiday cards, but it's probably too late this year, so maybe next year... if i ever send holiday cards, that is...

ah, but don't let the irreverent tease deceive you, i have mad respect for her… i first discovered the artist when she was a little nip of a lass that could be bounced on your knee (figuratively bouncing, of course)… her prose and poetry drew me into her magical mind and then, i saw her creative photographic images and then, actually saw her and her eyes and fell in love visually as well (as if a literary crush wasn’t enough for me)… you can read all about it somewhere in the archives behind the candoor or even as far back as planet candora… but leave us not let puerile fantasies distract us from sexual liberation…

this is, after all, a sincere attempt to enlighten you poor human folk who are so afraid of your bodies that you find ways to distract yourself, like condemning others not afraid of their bodies and killing in the name of your gods... or watching tv… you need to know that, right from the start, you’ve been fed a pack of lies that are based on fear of nudity, fear of your body, and they’ve massively screwed you up... get over it, please, before you kill us all...

and you do have permission, by the way (see above) and not just mine... you’ll be happy and relieved to know that i personally spoke to jesus and allah and buddha and mo on your behalf, they all agreed that you should stop all this fear of sex crap and get on with the pleasure of life...

so now that you can comfortably play with yourself without fear or recrimination (these people died for your right to love and forgive and play with yourself, remember), we come to the part of this entry where we finally get to my holiday desktop photo… many photos vied for the position and someday perhaps i will present all the runners up, but for the moment without further ado as you see just below these words, we now present the 2008-2009 holiday desktop photo…

note the carefully placed holiday lighting to appear so casually laid in places, to highlight, yet not expose too much of the holiday spirit... note the unplanned, mostly unpacked ambiance of the scene... and the mystery… is she sitting, squatting… is she on a bed, a stool, a chair… the dark hides the secrets, the light invites your imagination to wonder… doesn't the image get you in the holiday mood?... dontcha feel like peeking behind the curtain?... maybe you’re ready to start your own unwrapping now…

thank you oodles to the artist (and her gift of visual play, literary expression, and sense of humor)… someday i will sit her on my lap and tell her stories of ulysses or clinton, or something like that…

good night, my little flower children, go forth and spread your seed…