all through the nights...

sometimes I claim, write, even, that I know why I do what I do, specifically, in this case, why I continue to continue to create new blog spaces to continue to continue to ramble on in different, but probably more the same ways instead of simply writing in the same blog space year after year and there could be much validity in the primal instinct for change that is quite strong in me, which may also be one reason I am alone in the world and not committed to one person, though I truly believe I would have been had she wanted me to be all those years ago, but that’s another story and this sentence probably has way too many commas as it is, so I probably ought to continue the thought that I was starting out to explore in the next paragraph, if I can find it again…

the bruises don’t help the focus either, but that’s still yet even another story (and I am not even referring to gavin friday this time, though after thinking of the thought the thought could be thought at this point and related to the concept and theme and point, whatever it was, in spite of the intent of the reference did not at first refer to the thought, for whatever this explanatory parathetic aside might be worth to anyone… and do we long for a connection to every thought?... of course we do, that is why we babble and post the babbling here and there are everywhere, but that’s not the answer to the query that might be the point of this entry if we ever find our way back to it again)…

yes, the continued continuation of continued movement of the location, online, that is, of the babbling has some purpose, purposes even, and I have explored the reasons before, but the explorations continue because that’s the nature of babbling and exploring ever seeking the bottom line when there are many bottom lines… always looking for the right one and the right way (and place and time) to find the right one, aka the one for the long term word junkies among us, simply, is the deepest root cause that draws the ever spreading word and infinitely tossed messages in bottles (infinite directions, that is) cuz if the message touches every atomic particle in every universe, then maybe the one will finally get the message that it’s about time we hooked up and set off the fireworks and lived happily ever after…

apparently I have not touched the right atomic particle yet…

yeah, so anyway, as we gather here at this magical mystery (and rather delusional, but that’s beside the point) time of year (no accounting for the rational queries in the television show lie to me, which is, ironically, what most humans seem to want most of all in so many ways that it makes life relatively meaningless, if it was to have any meaning in the first place (we we gathering for something?... oh, well, there was probably a point within the point within this paragraph within this entry, so maybe starting yet another new paragraph will help us get wherever it may be we might be going)…

huh?...

the wrist and elbow really hurts a lot, more than the knee, and I apologize to the concerned and interested for the continued real world real time physical reference distractions within the asides and other distractions but the poor wrist is so dang thin and fragile, just like the other extremities, when compared with the bloated belly and meaty torso and this current pain is bringing this realization back to the surface and has the trainer in my head shaking his head (which is an interesting visual if you see it) wondering why someone as aware and enlightened and once all there as I am and was is allowing the lazy apathy and ridiculous ambivalence and just plain stupidity interfere with the physical actualization I could be maintaining in this life, not that the wrist would hurt less, but I might not have fallen in the first place…

meanwhile, the tv drones on and on about the trivial references to celebrity lives and I am occasionally listening out of loneliness and occasionally glancing up just for the visual stimuli (not just for the libido, but the libido has been neglected for some time, but much more imagination than libbo calls out from the dark deep depths of my mind for more attention and leaping into the more real world of shared fantasy, there are lots of movies I want to see (wanna come along?) and I am still hoping for more from the harry potter series (and not just cuz of my love of characters, long live the child inside) because so far the films have short changed the books and the culture still seems to me to be so perverse in puritanical sexually repression (this thought popped up after seeing the stats at google about how many people googled emma watson’s underwear last year, (and seriously, is david letterman a pandering {or just still living the young boy dream cuz he can like so many way-too-wealthy people?} or what?), we don’t live in the future yet, after all… I mean, it gets cold in canada and sex’ll keep a body warm, even without a partner…

whatever this entry was going to be, it’ll have to continue another time as I am going to give the brain and body an hour or two of sleep now so tomorrow (later today, actually) will not be as challenging at the desk…

keep digging, you’ll get there sooner or later :)