the later it gets

who knows, who cares (I mean, not in a heartless who cares but in a silly cartoony douglas adams irreverent relativity of caring kind of just enjoy the ride, if you feel the drift), this entry may have been somewhere before in parts or whole, but not exactly as it is here because, after all, everything changes behind the candor…

I keep forgetting the use a word processing program or even notepad to type the entries so I have a copy of the entries on my computer before sending them out here into cyberspace and there are millions of words poured out here over the years in that precarious position of existence, that is, in the blink of an electronic nanosecond the words and all the thoughts, feelings, and whatever worth there is in them would be gone, poof, as if they never existed beyond the vague memory some few of you might have of them… scary fragile, this sharing of words on the internet…

scary fragile, it turns out, is a song by butterfly boucher who I am falling in love with in the last seventeen or hundred seconds or so, maybe ten minutes (you oughta know it doesn’t take long for me to fall in love with a photo or song or singer or whatever cuz I am easy like that… of course it may not last the day, but what a day it could be, aye?)… another aussie, which most likely means austrailia is second only to the us for providing love fantasies for my heart…though Canada still ranks a close second… and per capita, they probably are first, though maybe canada, but I never actually had a physical love relationship with an aussie (we won’t get into my affairs with Canadians at the moment, aye?) so if you are from australia and would like to see if your reality lives up to my fantasy, feel free to apply within…

oh so romantic, right?...

so anyway, this entry is intended to attempt to remind me to type into notepad or better yet, ms word (cuz then it’ll spellcheck for me, not that I pay attention to the spellchecker or rulebooks much cuz I am a stubborn rebel and who loves me some typos, dontcha know) so perhaps posterity and anyone who cares might find, read, and find a moment of worth in these words sometime in the future (which is your now, if you are reading these words, isn’t that time thing exciting?) and then I’d go down in history as having existed even after this body dissolves back into the primordial ooze…

so feel free to remind me often… even if you’re not australian :)

and then there was this sudden whirl of late night television wind via the browsing after dark and the question must be asked, american on purpose on twitter?... yes, the night belongs to music, romance, or perhaps craig ferguson (who?) craig ferguson (what?) craig ferguson (where?) craig what?
huh? this? that? ellen? what? croco what?... farty?... what?...

and then, as if a commercial interruption would not be noticed, it disappeared as if it never existed, just like (who?)… and now, re-digested for your purity (and pleasure), understanding comes simply to me sometimes as a similar experience happened to happen to me in newsgroups around 1998 or so (which covers just about any experience imaginable, online, that is), and yet, I am sad that all of the old blog entries (and newsgroup posts) are not available now because there were words and photos that were so much fun, insightful, and brilliant to read (not to mention quite stimulating in every way :)

still, it is now time to include the rest of this comment, which was a comment elsewhere once, because it was written before I could access the entry that inspired it (figure that one out if you can) and now that this moment has appeared to finish what was started before running out to a game-party, there is see the serious part should be respected too…

yes, a serious part…

somehow, since 2000, i have been very lucky in that nobody cares much whether i write on the web or not (I mean, nobody’s paying attention much from day to day, no less finding the half dozen or so entries and comments and blips and blobs I leave on the web every single day for fifteen or more years, often more, sometimes ten times that number, and sometimes, a hundred all at once as if I’ve been doing it all along), so in the internet-quiet times when I actually live a busy life offline, which does happen more often than you’d think if you did find all the entries and comments and blips and blobs, every week or two I spend a day stroking my own ego and blathering in dozens of entries here and there and I upload them as if I've been writing daily just out of habit cuz I really do want to keep in touch with someone daily (is this the serious part?), preferably in a real-time physical relationship in the same living space and the illusion of writing brief daily entries keeps me hopeful that I still can bond and maintain and serious intimate everyday relationship (or am I just rationalizing an enormous exhibitionist ego that masturbates through words even if nobody's watching?... oh come on, serious, remember?)...

yeah, so anyway, i hope life is wonderful for you (and you and you and you and you and yes, each and every one of you too) and here's the comment (oh, right, with no embellishment behind the candoor, right) that would have been without this introduction (or serious part) had i been able to upload it earlier without being able to read the entry that inspired it (makes sense to me, ask for further explanation at your own risk :)

(imagine throat clearing noises)

here