if it's Tuesday, I must be wonky

woke up wonky about an hour ago after about four hours sleep... I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if someone was actually pounding on the walls... turns out it was the UPS guy and by the time I got to the door I missed him... of course it could have been a UPS girl... but anyway, he or she left a note for Rasputin... apparently Rasputin received a package... hopefully they left it at the office...

the door was open, in fact, because I got home from work and decided it was time to go to the gym again... I changed into shorts and drank water and sat down a moment to do something at the computer and let the water saturate since I have been fasting, mostly unintentionally, since Sunday, maybe since Saturday, (except for a salad sunday evening), and the mind and body is adjusting to the fast, so I wanted to be well saturated before getting to the gym so I wouldn't give my kidneys a hard time...

I woke hearing the pounding...

now I know I didn't sleep enough, but I am buzzing... the hormones of body-cleansing combined with the annoyance of being woken by the world pounding on my walls... amazing what people who work during the day can get away with... I mean, if somebody, even the mailman, pounded on your walls at 2am all the neightbors would be like, "shut the fruck up" (especially if you lived in Chinatown or something), but at 2pm, nobody even noticed the violent intrusion into my comfy sleeping space...

the walls are still vibrating...

so anyway, I am in this transition state wondering if I am hungry or if it's just the addiction to food that is calling me toward the fridge... I've fasted often in this life, three, four, five days... drink plenty of water... take vitamins... maybe a salad, carrots, or fruit after a few days to keep the peristalisis or whatever it's called rolling smoothely... it's one of the best feelings in life, cleaning all the processed crap we call food out of the body...

meanwhile, I wonder if I'll get to the gym... I wonder if I'll get to uploading those four btc entries and three rhymes... I wonder if I'll be awake for Dead Like Me and Eureka later... I wonder if I'll test the VCR and be able to let Precious tape House or if she'll talk me into missing one of the shows I want to watch in order to watch House... I did buy the VCR so she could tape the shows so we could both watch, but like most things, she promises to do after I spend money, nothing gets done (CD burning comes to mind... it's sad to see a teenager so lazy, but I suppose being self-centered is par for the course... and the selfish and spoiled parts are enabled by me and Raspy... alas, sometimes loving someone gets complicated)... I wonder if I'll throw a wash in (clould use some clean clothes... I always know the wash is well past needing to be done when I open the emergency pack of socks I keep in the closet)...

I wonder when my roommates will be home... I wonder if I'll give into their eating habits tonight... a bag of Doritos sits next to me... several dozen Dorito chips have been sitting there waiting for me for a week or two... I've not been interested, a good sign... a big box of assorted chocolate candies sits on the couch, school candies for a good cause... there'll be one of those every month for the next eight months or so... Precious counts on me to buy most of the box (I have the past couple of years)... gazing beyond the box of chocolate candies, I wonder when I'll live in a clean house again... I wonder if I'll fix my bed this week... I wonder when I'll cuddle again... I wonder when I'll make love again... I wonder if she's out there... it just thundered, I wonder if it'll be a good storm... I wonder when all this wondering will stop...

never, wondering is fun...

and Meg and Dia sing Nineteen Stars...

and the body and mind are basking in cleansing...

and I am floating in my own private wonky heaven J