madness to my methods

yes, I have no idea just what I might do to retire from the working world that is slowly killing me (odds are {and I think science could prove} that we'd all live longer with more rest and less working hours, after all)... this thought emerges as part of the grumbling that follows really bad luck in techno-geekdom...

after dropping more than $700 at the Cingular store on two new phones, two new 1GB memory cards, an accessory package that includes a bluetooth ear thing, a case, and a car charger (Raspy is covering $140 one of these days and I'm supposed to get $360 back in rebates someday, so it's not that extravagant, right?), we come home all excited to play with our new toys...

Precious is still quite excited...

my new toy broke...

yes, my new Sony/Erikson w801i phone somehow short circuited... an hour and a half shopping and deciding and filling out the forms and registering the phones and all that techno stuff and an hour after I get home the phone short circuits... I tried removing the battery, removing the SIMM card, nothing worked... two hours on the phone with tech support and still, short circuit...

I'll have to find time next week to get back to the Cingular store (tomorrow and Saturday are booked and I'm running on empty so I'd like to get some rest Sunday before another work and concert day Monday)... and I still haven't gotten the air conditioning in the car fixed cuz there's just been no time to get to the car air-conditioning fixer...

really disappointing... extremely frustrating... I could have fixed my air conditioning or even gotten a new computer, but no, I chose phones for me and Precious and the grumbles spilleth over...

meanwhile, the Mets are batting in the bottom of the ninth in the seventh game of the playoff series... the Cards just grabbed two runs in the top of the ninth to go ahead 3-2 and the Mets just put their first two base runners on base, meaning the series winning run is at the plate... or the Cards will go to the World Series... one of the other outcome should come in the next few minutes...

I've seen a couple of hundred Mets games over the years, being that I lived in New York and enjoyed the park experience and had the time and money to do that... so I suppose I should be crazy excited and freaking out right now... in another life, once... I'm kind of ambivalent about teams these days, but if the Mets pulled off this bit of magic, I'd smile...

besides, it's a really good distraction from the emotional screw job I got from Cingular and Sony/Erikson... I figure they'll just give me a new phone since it shorted out less than an hour out of the store, so I'll hold off on feeling monetarily screwed, but dangit if I wasn't an excited kid there for an hour or so... bummer, for the moment...

meanwhile, I will go shopping for a new computer just as soon as I have the time... I don't particularly want to take a day off work and what with all the concerts on the schedule (yes, I've got tickets to all the ones listed down there on the right and probably a few I'm forgetting), time is tight...

two outs, bottom of the ninth, two men on, two runs down, game seven of a best of seven series... I used to live for this suspense... ball one... baseball takes so much time, doesn't it?... strike one... from the Cards perspective they are two strikes away from the World Series... from the Mets perspective they are one swing away from the World Series... ball two... and the classic duel between pitcher and batter continues... ball three... one more ball and it's bases loaded, the best hitter coming up... does the batter swing?... no, ball four, bases loaded...

bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth, game seven of a best of seven series, the home team down to their last out, down by two runs... the winning run is on first base... the power hitter is at the plate... strike one... I am starting to get a little crazy... strike two... oh dear, Casey At The Bat must be flashing through the mind of anyone with literary knowledge...

and the slugger, let's call him Casey, looks at the third strike... he doesn't even swing... bases loaded, 0 and 2 count, and he watches the series ending third strike pass by like he was a tourist at Disneyworld (no offense to tourists at Disneyworld, but a ridiculous way to go down, watching a game you are supposed to be playing)...

oh well, the Mets are gone, the Yankees are gone, the Cali teams are gone (I lived in California, so I can root for them too) and it's a replay of the 1967 World Series (which was one of the greatest Series, actually)... unfortunately there is no Bob Gibson or Mickey Lolich or... I do ramble on tangents, don't I?...

so ok, it was almost a wonderfully exciting day...

then my new toy broke...

so tomorrow I'll just go a little more crazy and spoil myself even more somehow and maybe even forget sensible shopping around or research and simply buying more new toys... who needs to start a retirement fund, anyway...

you might think it superficial of me to be all bummed about a new toy and a sports team and being poor, but you'd only be right if you thought that... the real bummer today was that a kid was stabbed to death at Precious's school... yeah, real life can really suck in this world at the present level of human development... so there's death... kids are dying in Iraq and you and I are paying for the bullets that are killing them... kids are starving all over the world and you and I ignore the decisions and policies our elected officials make in our names that keep the poor down and dying... and a kid died today at Precious's school... he was fifteen... the kid who stabbed him to death is seventeen...

times like these make loneliness an unfriendly monster...

it would have been a good night to have a new toy... something fun to distract me from the frustration of living amongst human beings... I don't want to sleep, but my sleep reserves are scraping bottom and it'll be more challenging to enjoy the three concerts I'll be going to in the next four days well rested, but that does not seem to be going to happen...

the school will be open tomorrow... sort of... they might cancel the play the kids have been working hard on for weeks because it's a musical comedy murder, after all... the Drama Director does not believe in good theatre, as I've mentioned in previous rambles, and it'll be just like her to cancel the show because she's afraid it might offend someone... typical conservative control fostering paranoia and depression instead of realizing that the show must go on and the kids and community could really use a positive distraction right now... but look around, we live in a culture that would rather fear than love, would rather mourn than heal, would rather gripe than fix things, and would rather stick their heads in the sand than live life...

they cancelled the football game scheduled for tomorrow night...

so I'm gonna live a little tonight... and tomorrow, I think I'll take a long lunch and get that phone deal fixed and maybe stop by the computer store to see what they've got... that's right... I know how to live and live dangerously... take pot luck and hope I get a computer that fits my needs... there's just no time to read Consumer's Reports and PC Computing and other research that might get me the best bang for my meager buck... maybe I should just wish on the computer fairy for massive memory and speed and power to suddenly appear in just any old computer I buy...

this one is driving me crazy crashing and resetting my options and preferences in Windows and the browser and the Word program (what crap Microsoft produces that it won't even retain the settings in options from day to day, no less save passwords and remember my preferences)... yeah, it's time to roll the dice and buy whatever is on the shelf... and email SPAM is a cancer on our heads... heck, my email isn't even working these days and I don't have time to firgure out why... crap products, made in the USA... we are ashamed, but too arrogant to admit it...

living in denial...

and then what?... I'll have another great new toy to play with and no time to play... aren't I the grey goose tonight?... wet blanket, that is... you know, down on the upbeat, grooving on the downbeat, and generally depressive... what can I say, it amuses me (the madness to my methods are not always easy to understand, but it works for me so fret not for me Argentina or anywhere else, the truth is I always loved you and still do... and I love me... and I love life...

even amongst the humans...

I hope you enjoy your life today... some kids can't... and if things don't go exactly perfectly the way you'd like, enjoy the way things turn out anyway... make lemonade... get silly... be extravagant... hold your head up, ya yeah, hold your head up... yeah, now there's an old song, aye?... shake it up a bit, or a lot... it's your life, do with it as you please... and above all else, make it fun...

I know I will...