and so it is Xmas (morning)

and this is what I've done in RealTime™... concluding a wondrous day before and Xmas eve out at Disney (a wondrous experience in spite of the reality of rain and the insult and greed of $7 ponchos made of maybe six cents worth of plastic) with a magnificent dinner at a fine music-filled Italian restaurant, I settled into a bit of babbling and singing to myself time until slipping out of the house and sneaking many many presents under the six Xmas trees on the six units of the hospital I call home when I doing what I do to earn money... as they say (and maybe never more accurately), it’s a living...

and once the stockings were hung from the day room handrails with care and the presents all neatly stacked under the trees with special attention to size, shape, and color in order to create the best visual presentation, and with the children all still safely tucked in their beds and the staff prepared for the onslaught of the energy of Xmas morning, I slipped out of the picture to let the Xmas morning wake up happen... that is respect for the staff who worked the night that I offer by slipping out before the kids wake for it would not be fair to those who sit and watch over the kids all night for a faux-Santa to appear and receive all the precious attention and excitement the kids will have at wake up...

I did sneak a peek though, incognito as the everyday clinician I am... the air was buzzing and the eyes were beaming and the hearts were thumping and the rooms were teaming with excited kids ripping and tearing and squealing and comparing and sharing one of the few times of their lives they might forget they have a medical label and have been through very rough times...

and the mystery and magic of Santa remained well preserved in what was left behind, dozens of presents for each of the 85 kids, gifts donated by corporations as big as the Atlanta Braves and as small as the mom and pop convenience store on the corner... and as usual, partly to see how much was given freely by so many with only a brief thank you in return (not even a tax write off as we are a for-profit hospital), and mostly to see the pure amazement and joy in the eyes and giggles of the kids, even the Grinchiest of staff experienced their heart growing three sizes this morning...

a few of the younger kids, away most of the night and trying their best to be good, left Santa a stuffed animal and cookies and other little trinkets and when you consider these kids have little or nothing to their name and no power at all to get anything except what is given to them, these little gifts have as great a value as any gift I ever received... excuse me whilst I kvell... or qvell, even... talk amongst yourselves...

sigh...

it may be egocentric or arrogant of me, but in my innocent excitement I drove off into the early morning imagining that I was feeling just the tiniest bit of the feeling that a real Santa might feel after making his rounds and it was not all bliss and wonder, it was very hard work on my hands and knees setting up boxes and packages just right after sorting through so many hundreds... and after not sleeping for so long, my arms and legs and back are blissfully sore and my head is spinning with whatever sugarplums or fairies might actually look like... it is a sense of accomplishment, to know I have touched so many packages that are right now touching so many hearts...

the chills and euphoria of the feeling of giving unconditional love in actual physical effort is far overshadowing any lonely or achy feeling right now... and I'll just let it stay just like this for as long as it lasts...

and then it was home again to continue enjoying the excitement of the giving and the energy of the love that is rarely more alive in this world than at this time of year (and perhaps, sometime later, a bit of sleep) in the way I know best when I am alone (and the world around me is asleep), babble on...

Merry Happy... Everyone J