focus amidst distractions and other perspectives

I am thinking of buying this...

the part of me who screams INDEPENDENCE! in capitalized italics makes the usual claim that I do not need to pay for what I can do myself, organize my life, thoughts, and visual records... not to mention following someone else's way of organizing their life path... that's almost like following someone else's religion, though some might see that as a stretch... some parts of me can be quite the purist...

but seriously, we can turn anything into a logical sounding standard that is, for the purist who seeks truth and optimization and perfection, just another excuse... I mean, look at the mental health field... everything is excused as a disease, from self-pity to laziness to obesity to violence to insecurity to indecisiveness to self-abuse to rape to child rape to murder... and as if the universe loves me and wants to prove my point, we have RPS, or Restless Penis Syndrome...

ok, so it's an SNL spoof on PMS and every other medical diagnosis that attempts to explain and even excuse emotional choices and behaviors, but come on, why not?... it's a natural... male hormones, survival of the species, the instinctive drive to procreate as much as possible... just about every species exhibits it... the hormones take over and demand, no DEMAND! penile insertion... any soft moist hole will do, though some males suffering from RPS do discriminate in an attempt to avoid pain ot nausea...

but anyway, that's just one reason against purchasing such a product... another, of course, it will I use it? and if I do use it, for how long?... if it takes more than five or ten minutes, it's doubtful I will make the time on any extended basis, therein making it a waste of money... and then, of course, is will it work on this old computer? which is only a temporary reason not to buy, but may very well be the best for the moment... and we mustn't forget cheapness... yes, while I give it all away to others way too easily... I am about the cheapest (as in frugal, self-denial of spending money on self) person I know when it comes to spending money on myself.... I can overcome that when I want to, but I rarely want to...

so anyway, I am considering the purchase anyway...

holy crap... I just spent five minutes browsing the screen shots on the sit and clicked to the Buy Now page and almost clicked on the $39.95 CD-ROM order... it should just bareley run on this computer, maybe... impulsivity is high in this one...

ten minutes later... ok, I ordered it... paid... downloaded... not installed yet because there are way too many windows open to install new software at the moment... hopefully it will satisfy the statistics loving math-kid in me enough to spend time each day using it and then, hopefully it will motivate me to continue getting healthier and more fit...

other than that, I watched NCAA basketball all day while doing laundry, recovered from last night's gym, ate way more than necessary for lunch cuz I caved in to Rasputin's influences and lack of responsiveness or consideration (simply, he got home from work and I asked aboout food and suggested we order his favorite pizza and I'd order their chicken strips and he ignored me {as he often does when he's zoned into the TV amd then nodded off}... so I cooked myself something healthy, mostly, and as I'm eating it he wakes and decides to order pizza for him and Precious without asking me... they didn't have the number, so Precious asked to use my phone {which has the number in it} and I told her to order me chicken strips... when Raspy heard that, he told her to order 20 so they'd have some too... the only way I was getting my chicken strips was to eat them all before they got to them, so I did... this is a typical way I allow myself to be influenced into poor dietary habits here and I felt it was time to walk through the event so I could see it in detail... obviously, I can not treat myself unless I am willing to pay for them too because their habit is to eat fast so they can have more food than the others sharing the food, which is exactly the opposite of what a healthy body needs... so I shall try for no more sharing food for a while), got back from another hour at the gym (which was a pleasant surprise) and came here...

reminder to me: stay on your path... especially take care not to follow others when loneliness or taste buds are influencing decisions...

hope you are loving your weekend :)