consistency

that is what it takes to mean something in this world (at least to me)... and that's a pretty global condition, come to think of it... consistency in interactions build trust... consistency in balance secures peace... consistency in helathy diet and exercise insure optimal energy level and physical experience... for the latter, this body will need a year of consistency to return anywhere near optimal for me, but heck, three days in a row is better than none, so yay...

and on this third day, continued improvement... while the first ten minutes begged for rest and calling it a night, by the time I was done on the lifecycle 93x (more than an hour later), I felt like I could continue another hour... though my calf might have cramped by then, after 30 minutes of pushing current limits, I felt like I could cool down (4-5mph at base level, minimal resistance) for as long as the gym stayed open... since I arrive about 10pm and closing time is 11pm, therein is the built in limit... though today the security cop closed at 11:30pm, yay him...

so life in this body is just a little bit better tonight... woke 6am, shower, a touch of computer, out the door...

work: same, except a longer day at the boring seminar... breakfast at the Marriot buffet (pig... though I did keep it to one plate and did not have bread, fruit, donuts, or anything else except juice and coffee)... lunch outdoors at a local bistro (veggie wrap with sweet potato fried, decadent) with three people from the competiting Orlando psych center, picking brains... aren't you glad I haven't started recording bowel movements?... no wonder just a few of you stick around, aye?... seminar: zzzzzzz...

home: stepped out with Rasputin to buy a few things, including Chromium Picolinate, which is said to help insulin break down blood sugar... one more pill to pop daily... I tried to get my oil change, but the line was long and not moving at all, so another time... semi-napped in big green chair, missed the American Idol girls, headed to gym, came home, logged stats, back here, nite nite (almost)...

somewhere along the way I'd like to figure out how to fit some shared quality personal time in, but then, I'll have to find that other person, won't I... somewhere along the way I'd like to figure out how to fit some time focused on figuring out how to find that other person, but then, 18 hours is already a long day... and Aida (I am falling totally in love with the soundtrack) plays in my head I don't want to live like that... dangit...

working downtown and eating outdoors at local places every day would definitely be one assist to the interactions and possible meeting of others, but I work in an industrial/research park in the distant suburbs surrounded by 40,000+ college students and corportate types (and some military tyles) and can not afford lunch out... at all... poverty is so restrictive to social life, yet the pay scale sucks here and ambition to give more hours to a job is just not there... while I can enjoy the variety and being served, the upscale life is just not that important to me...

so I continue hoping that potential other person might stumble by the half hour to hour of words I pop out online every day and we can figure out how to proceed from there together... strange long shot, I suppose, but then, people play the lottery, don't they... consider my various entries lottery tickets then... after all, the pool of people online is much bigger than even the population of the local downbtown bistros at lunch, so who knows...

and so my thoughts for today conclude with more hope than yesterday, a few sighs, and satisfied smile, a word of caution to myself to watch out for the laziness in me (and the taste buds), and a whole lotta love for all of you :)