been away
it's an odd feeling to be away from the computer for more than 48 hours... on one level it's a very lonely feeling when I return to find nobody noticed I was gone, but then, pretending that distance can really be bridged on a daily life basis is an illusion I enjoy, so I'll get right back into it without mulling over the reality much... it's also a great feeling to change the activity and mental focus from the computer and the net to life offline for more than a day or two... ruts suck, and anything becomes a rut without a change now and then...
laying under this massive MRI machine this morning brought home just how isolated and alone I am in this world... going to doctors often does that, especially when I am asked to fill out the "nearest living relative" and "emergency contact" parts... then there's the "family history" part too... so much of normal human life is n/a for me...
on TV, the news proudly announces that Florida has moved up on the high school graduation rate list... Florida is now 45th out of 50 states... sad... it's always been the least appealing thing about living here for me cuz I can feel the lack of intellect and mental energy when I am not practicing being human...
I did get back to the gym tonight after taking yesterday off... I have been resting against this particular wall for a while now and I'm probably gonna analyze [re: analeyes] why any day now, cuz I have anal eyes and appear to enjoy using them, after all...
work was the usual, asked to help others, lots of distractiosn, but I focused enough on myb work to be on schedule (if you call promising a government agency a report 13 days late on schedule, it's scheduled tardiness and I would be teaching a course in it at Harvard Business school next year, but they already have several people doing it and nobody shows up for the class on time if they want to pass)...
home is as usual, Precious out with friends, Rasputin asleep on the couch right in front of the TV, which is on auto-pilot, which is on auto-pilot, dishes piled in the sink, the usual mess... not inviting for guests, which is one reason I've lost interest in going out to meet people who I might want to invite home... I laugh a sardonic laugh as I think, hmmm, just two days away from the net and I notice these things...
I shall head over to myspace now cuz sending out messages in bottles there seems to keep hope alive for now on some cosmic scale and balance is important (even more important than the towel)... you know where to find me :)
hope your days are balanced :)
laying under this massive MRI machine this morning brought home just how isolated and alone I am in this world... going to doctors often does that, especially when I am asked to fill out the "nearest living relative" and "emergency contact" parts... then there's the "family history" part too... so much of normal human life is n/a for me...
on TV, the news proudly announces that Florida has moved up on the high school graduation rate list... Florida is now 45th out of 50 states... sad... it's always been the least appealing thing about living here for me cuz I can feel the lack of intellect and mental energy when I am not practicing being human...
I did get back to the gym tonight after taking yesterday off... I have been resting against this particular wall for a while now and I'm probably gonna analyze [re: analeyes] why any day now, cuz I have anal eyes and appear to enjoy using them, after all...
work was the usual, asked to help others, lots of distractiosn, but I focused enough on myb work to be on schedule (if you call promising a government agency a report 13 days late on schedule, it's scheduled tardiness and I would be teaching a course in it at Harvard Business school next year, but they already have several people doing it and nobody shows up for the class on time if they want to pass)...
home is as usual, Precious out with friends, Rasputin asleep on the couch right in front of the TV, which is on auto-pilot, which is on auto-pilot, dishes piled in the sink, the usual mess... not inviting for guests, which is one reason I've lost interest in going out to meet people who I might want to invite home... I laugh a sardonic laugh as I think, hmmm, just two days away from the net and I notice these things...
I shall head over to myspace now cuz sending out messages in bottles there seems to keep hope alive for now on some cosmic scale and balance is important (even more important than the towel)... you know where to find me :)
hope your days are balanced :)
Labels: alas, balance, content, emo, environs, gym, hope, loneliness, mtmm, myspace, time, TV, work, writing
posted by candoor at 11:59 PM
3 Comments:
yeah quantum leap monkey bakkula's temporal cold w@r conflict ain't bad and so's teh xindy weap0n, but MRI is awesome musik to the ear:z, i always feel like wigglin my ass on the beats, but they tell you to sit still, stupid docs always boring!
:)
:)
interesting to see how they develop the Vulcan and Klingon characters... in the last episodes I saw they actually tied in the descrepancy of the Klingon foreheads in the original Trek - they lost most of their ridges due to a disease so when Kirk and Spock dealt with them, they looked more human for those generations...
I'm curious to see how they address what happened to the Xindi, since none of their species appeared in any of the "future" Treks... and I've not seen them introduce Romulans or other species yet... I suppose I've always been a Trekkie at heart...
yeah, lay perfectly still while we jackhammer your ass... if you close your eyes, you can imagine being in a cartoon :)
results in July :)
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