chocolate cures everything

yeah, so I brought home a salad from work and there was Rasputin getting ready to go to the store to get Pepsi and there was Precious asking about food and there we were in the car driving toward that Italian Restaurant Precious and I found last week or sometime recently and there I was eating bacon wrapped scallops and eggplant parmesan and chocolate covered canoli and now, Hershey's Nuggets (Extra Creamy Milk Chocolate with Chocolate Truffle Filling)...

it's chocolate heaven, these truffle things...

so another night of going up on the magic window to the soul, the scale (fatties with a sense of humor would laugh at that... some aren't that jolly though)... insane, really, when we consider just how hard I had to work to drop the excess weight I am now so quickly cementing back on to my belly, neck, and organs (cuz it never goes anywhere else)... maybe it's not so bad... maybe the recent laziness is not a long term project, but rather a passing fancy... maybe I'll run again tonight... or jog, since I've not actually run in a long long time... running is at least ten miles an hour, right?... well, for me it is...

heck, I am not even up to ten miles an hour on the elliptical machine, no less on the track or trail... ah, but I am not yet a fat old man (I just play one on TV) and this sort of self-mockery is just the medicine the doctor (who apparently doesn't want to see me anymore cuz her lawyers told her not to... dang lawyers interfering with our lives like a disease... everybody wants to sue everybody, nobody can trust anybody, and now doctors tell patients who get sick to find another doctor because the doctor's lawyers wager the patient will cost more in court if they stick around and get sicker... shouldn't that be grounds for a lawsuit?) ordered...

bugged-eyed, are we?...

yeah, well, remember the chocolate... and don’t worry if there's not much content or value for your time in this entry, there's a good chance it'll pass into the past before our paths cross again (something about we may never pass this way again... who's that?... Seal's & Crofts?... Loggins & Messina?... Doobie Brothers?... somebody else?... the mind spins with tangential flashes)... drugs this good oughta be illegal... anybody know a good lawyer?...

wait, that was almost a thread of continuity in the nonsense... scary, huh?... never fear (and be a fool, idjit, fear is healthy and never doesn't exist and even if it did, only an idjit would never fear, fool)...

maybe the weirdest thing about chocolate is that it is probably the only food that goes in and comes out looking almost identical, texture, color, weight, consistency, almost identical... amazing, huh?...

wait, where are you going?...

dontcha feel bad for the billions of people who've never taken the time to read me enough to realize that sometimes within all the madness and babble and meaningless drivel, gems of pure crystalline genius pop out to blow your mind with profundity or laughter or both?... dreams may come, what?...

what happens, you see (or you'll just have to take my word for it) is that the signal from the stomach muscles and nerves that there's no more room for food gets sent to the brain, but somewhere along the way (I suspect the mouth, personally), that signal gets intercepted and buried in the sensual pleasure that taste buds send throughout the brain and body, enough to override the pain signals shooting up from the stomach as it is stretched beyond it's limits, like a balloon, and forced to churn away more food than the body needs until it just gives up and goes numb as it expands and then, bigger and bigger, allows more and more food sent down by the hyper-addicted taste buds and the body, unable to metabolize the excess, turns much of it into fat rather than let the stomach or intestines explode...

from: "How The Body Gets Fat" by Cacao Ishitunotay

fun with foibles, aye?... yeah, well, so goes the road to being human... that is what I'm trying to do, remember?... it keeps the boredom at bay while I wait for the one who will save me (save me, save me, stick my head in gravy... mmmmm, good gravy)... but seriously, physicists have long since believes that matter can not be created or destroyed, but any fatty with half a brain knows that's so wrong... can 10.5 ounces of chocolate turn into 10 pounds of body fat?... of course it can, just watch...

if you're a masochist, sadist, or semi-suicidal, that is...

and speaking of nothing like this before, if I bought a laptop and wandered around the world blogging like crazy would you follow?... would you pay for the trip?... sure I am off the wall, nobody wants to read the boring tripe... then again, maybe nobody wants to read any tripe... what is tripe, anyway?...

whatever it is, the proof is in the pudding (is tripe pudding?)... maybe you missed some classic banter and pathos, ethos and confession, catharsis and sincerity, seriousness and honesty, openness and vulnerability, and a whole lot more along the way, so that just shows to go ya... well, maybe not nobody (whatcha think of the entry a few entries back here that turned ethereal short story over at myspace recently?... so much, so many, so many, so few)... is tripe a ridiculously irreverent (but potentially poignant and powerfully potent guilt trip)?... who cares, really... well, ok, maybe there are a few dear wonderful loving caring beautiful amazing souls who actually do want to read everything cuz they really do actually truly care about me and all the little details of this life...

what a crazy bunch we'd make, aye?...

but instead (of the sincere vulnerability and such), you get this... just our luck, huh?... well, yeah, so, yeah, well... so in conclusion, we eat chocolate, we get fat, we get lazy, we get fat, we eat lotsa pasta and cheese, we get fat, we go to the doctor and find a lawyer, we eat more chocolate, we get fat, we get fat, we live with couch potatoes, we get fat, we live alone too long, we get fat, and of course, we eat chocolate, we get fat... and don't forget the canoli...

tomorrow, we may discuss how we go blind...

see ya :)