i seem to sleep less when i stay home
maybe i am fixated on thoughts of sleep lately, but i am noticing that when i stay home with the intention of getting to bed early and getting a full eight or more hours sleep, i wind up sleeping less than i would if i got home after midnight... i think it is because i crave intimacy and the social interactions and activities distract me from the craving so i can burn off energy and be more ready for sleep... when i sit home vegging in front of the TV or browsing the web, the hunger for sharing creeps up and starts exciting me and sleep is not interesting...
on the other hand, sleep is good... i did less this past weekend than most weekends and got more sleep, so i found myself awake before 6am on monday morning and i finally got out to run again... the hamstrings are definitely tight... muscles are flabby... and there's at least thirty extra pounds on the torso (probably more)... and stamina is sickly horrible... so i did not run steady, but paused several times along the way... i will measure the course i run one of these days, but it's probably a couple of miles...
i carried five pound weights in each hand to give the upper body more work cuz it's the body that needs to drop weight, not the legs... maybe one of these days i'll do another sit up... i try to do at least one a year... i think i skipped they last few...
O . . O
O
yeah, so anyway, i'm watching the Virginia Tech Hokies (college team) leading Team USA (Olympic Team and supposedly some of the best hitters and players in the world) 1 - 0 in softball with the VT pitcher pitching a no-hitter through five innings (unfortunately, she walked one, so it's not a perfect game)... of course i just jinxed her according to every baseball superstition... but then, the announcers have been announcing it every inning... the pitcher tried out for Team USA last year and they didn't take her... they have no college players on their team... so she';s struck out nine Team USA players so far and they have not hit the ball to the outfield yet (so said the announcer)... and the sixth inning is over...
and it's approaching 2am and i wonder if i am still awake because i am alone or because i did not excercise today or because i have an inoperable brain tumor that is pressing against the stay awake part of my brain... that dang brain... it's never had an off switch and probably is related to the energizer bunny...
and the VT girl pitched a no-hitter against Team USA...
i think i especially enjoyed it because after pitching three seasons (and signed up for two more leagues next season already), i consider myself a softball pitcher... so yay for a no-hitter against what these announcers are calling the best team in the world... and the irny that she was one of the last try-outs cut from the team is even sweeter... hopefully the USA Team will learn from that and get better...
so it's late and i should be asleep, but i am here typing to you and to me and to softball teams and to the tv and to the world and to the universe and to cartoon characters in my head and to the dream of love and romance and intimate sharing everything completely openly and honestly forever and ever and infinitely too...
and it was meant to be that i turned the tv to the softball game just as the game started and it was a pitcher's duel and an amazing performance by a young underdog pitcher... yes, the universe provides excitement like that when i ride the waves of energy and trust my instincts to choose... tomorrow will be a groggy day, but tonight was a wonderful night...
even if i was the only one enjoying it...
sigh, and all that stuff that tickles my innards and leaves me grinning... does anybody really know me?... are you still falling for the poor-me alases and misery loves company whining?... don't you know that depression is a playground in the mind just like any other?... all you need to do is choose to enjoy whatever the emotion, wherever you are, whomever you are with... especially yourself, cuz you are always with yourself and the secret to a happy life is knowing how to enjoy yourself...
i hope you had a good night too :)
on the other hand, sleep is good... i did less this past weekend than most weekends and got more sleep, so i found myself awake before 6am on monday morning and i finally got out to run again... the hamstrings are definitely tight... muscles are flabby... and there's at least thirty extra pounds on the torso (probably more)... and stamina is sickly horrible... so i did not run steady, but paused several times along the way... i will measure the course i run one of these days, but it's probably a couple of miles...
i carried five pound weights in each hand to give the upper body more work cuz it's the body that needs to drop weight, not the legs... maybe one of these days i'll do another sit up... i try to do at least one a year... i think i skipped they last few...
O
yeah, so anyway, i'm watching the Virginia Tech Hokies (college team) leading Team USA (Olympic Team and supposedly some of the best hitters and players in the world) 1 - 0 in softball with the VT pitcher pitching a no-hitter through five innings (unfortunately, she walked one, so it's not a perfect game)... of course i just jinxed her according to every baseball superstition... but then, the announcers have been announcing it every inning... the pitcher tried out for Team USA last year and they didn't take her... they have no college players on their team... so she';s struck out nine Team USA players so far and they have not hit the ball to the outfield yet (so said the announcer)... and the sixth inning is over...
and it's approaching 2am and i wonder if i am still awake because i am alone or because i did not excercise today or because i have an inoperable brain tumor that is pressing against the stay awake part of my brain... that dang brain... it's never had an off switch and probably is related to the energizer bunny...
and the VT girl pitched a no-hitter against Team USA...
i think i especially enjoyed it because after pitching three seasons (and signed up for two more leagues next season already), i consider myself a softball pitcher... so yay for a no-hitter against what these announcers are calling the best team in the world... and the irny that she was one of the last try-outs cut from the team is even sweeter... hopefully the USA Team will learn from that and get better...
so it's late and i should be asleep, but i am here typing to you and to me and to softball teams and to the tv and to the world and to the universe and to cartoon characters in my head and to the dream of love and romance and intimate sharing everything completely openly and honestly forever and ever and infinitely too...
and it was meant to be that i turned the tv to the softball game just as the game started and it was a pitcher's duel and an amazing performance by a young underdog pitcher... yes, the universe provides excitement like that when i ride the waves of energy and trust my instincts to choose... tomorrow will be a groggy day, but tonight was a wonderful night...
even if i was the only one enjoying it...
sigh, and all that stuff that tickles my innards and leaves me grinning... does anybody really know me?... are you still falling for the poor-me alases and misery loves company whining?... don't you know that depression is a playground in the mind just like any other?... all you need to do is choose to enjoy whatever the emotion, wherever you are, whomever you are with... especially yourself, cuz you are always with yourself and the secret to a happy life is knowing how to enjoy yourself...
i hope you had a good night too :)
Labels: alas, amused, choices, egmo, giggles, high, home, huh?, illusions, irony madness, karma, lam, loneli, moment, mtmm, random, realtime, semi-philosophy, smirk, softball
posted by candoor at 2:51 AM
3 Comments:
I missed reading you, my fault, of course, for not being in the blogosphere for a while.
And I just wrote an entry about not knowing who you know.. and see you writing about whether anyone really knows you.. while, minutes before that, listened to a song from Sweeny Todd, "Friends" .. didn't see the movie either though. And nodding at how I also just randomly start crying at things. Especially comes of odd while washing dishes.. now, washing dishes can't be that tragic?
The above said has a point, it really does, but I always feel like the point I'm trying to make gets lost while I'm trying to make it ummm..
Well, just here to say hello and to catchup on everything I missed out on.
Hugs!
I'm really super duper thirsty and was just about to go get something to drink to quench the super duper thirsties when I just had a thought to pop on in on you and say hello, and then as an added bonus the wonderful pernickety has resurfaced too, so it feels even better to drop a note of hello and a few hugs and a few tears because I think crying has a really bad reputation for some odd reason when really it isn't bad at all. I got teary-eyed this morning when I passed a pretty young woman holding her baby in her arms as they were obviously off to some activity like the beach or a park or something like that and I guess something that could be called a wish that I had been a mom
made me feel really sad for a little while.
For some reason I'm still watching a lot of the Twilight Zone. I wonder what that means.
And getting back to at least a few yoga poses that used to be part of daily life and then one day weren't, and it's amazing how much harder it is to get up off the floor these days than it once was.
So I guess that's the update on real time, not that you asked this time, but I answered anyway.
:)
Good Job! :)
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