curiously fascinating

something brought me here recently, but i am not exactly sure why, or even have a clue, actually, and that is not what was on my mind when i came to tap the keps so before i forget what was on my mind (or lose it), i shall leave this link behind... perhaps we'll know why more later... could be they just slip in haphazardly after the fact in some other time warp and nobody notices, but then, what?...

it is curiously fascinating to observe and make note of (or take not of) the entries that get comments and those entries that are left orphaned... so many of the entries behind the candoor were left orphaned (or perhaps i have that backwards, perhaps the entries without comments are childless, a rather different, yet oddly similar, experience... and i have known both, come to think of it, which may be why i thought of it, come to think of it again, but anyway, the same can be said of the candora and all the blogs and diaries and journals that came before, the vast majority of the thousands of entries pages i've put on line over the last ten plus years have been commentless and that's not the point i was trying to make, the curiously fascinating part is that when i am receiving regular comments as i have in the past year or few from you wonderful people, it is (what was that again?... oh yes, curiously fascinating) curiously fascinating to observe and take note of (or make, for that matter) which entries are barren (or whatever we metaphorically call them) entries and which receive responses or some sort of words...

of course there are factors involved that have nothing to do with the words or content of the entries, like which entries are left out iin front longest, for the entries that are uploaded in rapid bursts are usually left homeless (no, i don't suppose that metaphor works too well here but we'll carry on anyway as if it did) and the last of a series generally receives attention even if it is far from the most interesting, enlightening, entertaining, or any other superlative that begins with a vowel, or not a vowel, that is not the question even if the words rhymes with towel which brings us back to douglas adams and his wonderful stories of irreverent whatever that have something to do with everything but nothing apparently to do with whatever the point of this entry may or may not have been at some time in the past or future tense, but the curiously fascinating part is...

or was, at some other 4:47 am...

i sit here alone typing these words... no one home but me... the clock moves silently... and in the morning when the world wakes up i'm still alone... no hug, no kiss, no eye contact... no playful glance or plans with anyone... off to my day... no one to take care of or to care for me... no one to depend on or depending on me... except work... this is reality...

where are you?... what are you doing?... are you alone?... who is in your house?... and in the morning when the world wakes up are you alone?... hugs, kisses, eye contact?... play or glances to start your day?... plans to follow through on with a family?... anyone depend on you?... anyone care for you?... what is your reality?...

for us to relate to each other honestly we must accept the differences in our realities and understand the perspectives are influenced by those differences... and then we can match similarities and enjoy connections more deeply because we understand the differences and are closer to each other for that...

if this doesn't make any sense to you, just write it off as the babblings of a lonely child who woke at 4:47 am and wanted to share something with someone, but no one was here...