there was a time

yes, remembering that there was a time when i would just sit down and start writing about whatever was momentarily fleeting through my head whether serious emo or intellectual reasoning or random babble out of the blue, it was a comfortable and mind-freeing exercise i practices regularly and then i stopped in a semi-vain attempt to continue (see right sidebar) in my quest to be more human and therein attract other humans so i might share more and feel less lonely (and a look at some of the momentary moods (oh, love that emo, no doubt) and writings appearing tonight might give us a suggestion as to why i stopped by here to open the door for the babbler a bit (yes, a bit, for still the semi-subconscious goal is brevity (and tonight i may have realized how much madness there is in the quest... the quest?... really?... yes, and tears fall every time... do we remember?... oh dear, is this were we began?... or is this the end... shhhh, just continue as long as we can... just keep swimming, so to speak, so to write) as i stumbled into distraction out of the second seriously steaming hot shower since moving into this new space... here, i'll even blockquote and justify it, as if it's something special (narf :)

just in case this night of all the nights of the eternity is the night you chose to text or call, the phone is not by my side, it is in the bedroom (likely lost in commas and parentheses) and might not be heard here in the living room where i currently type these words to you, whomever you may be... so i stopped by the the facebook, i believe it was a tuesday, and the comment < Z P G 4 ever ! from Gonad McGillicuddy lead me to ponder perhaps ... gibran - the wanderer or nietzsche - the wanderer or perhaps not ... alas (and then some - who da man?) ... (or do we dally, la dee da?), but who would be fool enough to argue with the night?...

and here we see what a steamy hot shower might do...

but so distracted so quickly i all but forgot the music that called ever so softly from a distance as i stepped out of the steamy hot waters, too distant to be sung, but the thought as i laid down in near exhaustion was to listen and the mind did not let the body fall asleep so there were were for the last few hours putting words together as they fell out of the heart and mind and ears and here we are now, with med and dia sneaking in front of gavin friday by chance or change in website policy due to greed or economy, whatever the cause, the music reminds me and calls me back...

so in spite of the superficiality of the previous entry babble about whether to use the comment features that blogger offers or not (and the spam continues to pour in, what a world), there is hope for slightly more serious ponderings and ramblings, brief as they may be, as time treks along in this life... there really is no reason i can't devote several hours a day to writing during this period of non-working (as in unemployment... though i am not counted in the unemployment rate statistics because i have not collected any unemployment insurance benefits, which is a statistical folly politicians use to try to get elected {usually by blaming the other guy} but that can {and should, please?} be left for for another discussion)...

yes, there was a time... and maybe more time for that sort of time now... but motivation, is there any?... inspiration?... what?... there seems to be so much stillness in the breeze, so little coming out of the blue and life has so many price tags on it these days... who does anything free with a stranger anymore?...

seems i am drifting... if i return, yay... if not, yay for being here :)

these days, there seems to be lots of narf :P