babbling through computer concerns

ok, so suddenly this babbling blog has life because there is babbling going on today because, well, several times already this computer would not start up... but i don't feel like getting lost in complaining (not that i won't be complaining along the way) so dangit i'm gonna babble... i restarted it last night cuz it would not shut down and was overheating and, well, let me record the saga... it asked to run repair and wanted to restore, but i didn't let it... then it would not start up several times and shut down as it started up as if it lost power... then i started it in safe mode and it started up but suddenly went black screen as if it lost power... maybe the battery is dead, but it says it's 100% charged... so finally i got it to start and chose to start windows normally and here we are... currently running a critical areas scan... the primary difference between tonight and all prior days is that i have the wi-fi turned off... why would the computer have issues starting up with the wifi turned off... i turned the wifi off because the hard drive was running for a full day even with the computer closed so something was keeping it from going into sleep or hibernation mode... am i being hacked?... the critical areas scan shows no threats... the last vulnerability scan shows skype.exe as vulnerable even though i uninstalled skype so i searched for all skype files and found skype.exe and deleted it and all skype files cuz i don't use skype and i am running vulnerability scan again... this may take some time...

meanwhile, in other parts of the mind...
this is how it used to be
when i had the time
to let my mind wander through
whatever it might find
imagination, fantasies
flowing into rhyme
dreams to come and dreams gone by
nothing left behind
when i had the time

memories became epic conversations
between the voices deep inside my head
hopes and dreams became infinite variations
wherever imagination lead

sometimes real desires
sometimes other's fires
observations, inspirations
everything inspires

being without fear
no inhibitions allow
free creativity
have we forgotten how
or are we there right now

she was the perfection i always dreamed of
fitting every part of me so exactly
there could be no better actualized true love
and when she went away i died
rhyme cried

and memories replaced reality
fantasies replaced my sanity
she was all that i wanted to see
dreaming was the best i could do
to be the best i could be

and i came to realize
when the perfection dies
and the rhyme cries
but true love never lies

she is the perfection i always dreamed of
fitting every part of me so exactly
there could be no better actualized true love
i just had to close my eyes so i could see
and she never went away in my mind
she has always live in my rhyme
this is how it used to be
when i had the time

yes, this is how it used to be
when i had the time
to let my mind wander through
whatever it might find
imagination, fantasies
flowing into rhyme
dreams to come and dreams gone by
nothing left behind
when i had the time
remember me?... there's always hope :)

and so the vulnerability scan is done and found no threats now that the skype file was deleted... i could run a full scan but that would take a long time... and yet, why not... and so it starts again, a full scan... and to limit use of the computer while the scan is happening, i limit my use to typing these words which prevents me from playing the music i wish to play on the computer and since the cds are still in boxes, i don't have the music playing in the audio space that i am hearing in my mind so we will just have to listen within and use our imaginations which is what you've have to do anyway until i find the file and upload it or at least link it and since i am limiting myself to nothing more than typing in this notepad, links will have to wait until the scan and other tasks are completed... so imagine if you will the moody blues singing remember me, my friend as we listen together within our minds... distance separates our bodies, but the music puts our minds in the same head space... can you be here with me?...

all it takes is letting go of fear and opening yourself to your imagination and then, simply wanting to share... you can let me know, if you do, when you do... but if you do, then we are already there...

yeah, that's it... the secret to life, the universe, and everything... 42... the answer... and you can pretend you do not know and never knew and you can get away with that because that is the norm and the norm for the majority creates the illusion of truth accepted as truth by the majority and therein, by the culture of the time and you live in the culture of the time and you can find comfort in the conformity and sense of shared acceptance of the current truth no matter how wrong it might be because the sense of belonging to the majority overrides logic and rational thinking in most humans of the time...

are you there yet?...

narf :)