sweat shop

Precious stands in front of me telling me about her last minute save - calling her mom who talked her grandfather into buying the dress in a bigger size and having it shipped overnight... let's focus on it fitting without any tailoring, right... again, she might be bailed out of her last minute habits and again she denies and justifies them (in the same breath, no less) when I suggest her life would be much more organized, less stressed, and she'd get more of what she wanted if she could look at the big picture and see her habits undermine her...

nope...

meanwhile I sit here dripping as I cool down as I just got back from the gym and have less than an hour to shower, prepare food, and get to work (stop for veggie patties then and/or take oatmeal) cuz a thunderstorm put life on hold for an hour...

I woke to crashing thunder and might have slept longer, but was on time to get to the gym... the major league lightening and sheets of rain had me sitting and waiting an hour (I said that, huh?)... having not slept enough the past few days and having dropped 11 pounds since Sunday and haven eaten less than 500 calories today and nothing the previous two days and less than 300 calories on Sunday, I was feeling the fatigue at the gym and the numbers shoiwed it, but it's all good because I continued and still burned almost as many calories in the half hour as I consumed today...

meanwhile, looking into the kitchen, I see Rasputin cooked... this means every counter has smears and stains and crumbs, two stove burners still have uncovered rotting food (meat and spaghetti, so much for what to do with the ground round I bought and had in the freezer for a while) in two dirty pots, and it'll sit there until Precious decides it's time to find some of my containers to spill a bit more as she puts the food into the fridge... that food will then sit in the fridge for weeks until I toss it... when they cook, they eat about a third to a half of what they cook and the rest becomes mystery meat in the fridge... I don't understand why cooking means splashing grease and sauce everywhere for my dear roommates, but it does... both sinks have dirty dishes drying out in them and so it goes...

if the food is still there in the morning (as it usually the case, partly because they somehow lost or threw out most of the tops to most of my containers over the last two years) I'll either toss it or move it to the side or ignore it, depending on my mood...

this is why I don't cook here... or use my pots, pans, and containers much (come to think of it they are all my purchases except for one spaghetti pot... it's not even as though I keep track or think about that much, it's just that it's so easy to remember what I moved in with and nothing changed in a couple of years)...

ah, but time is running out on my shower and getting of healthy food and I do not want to sit at work hungry again (because Elpien ordered pizza and wings last night, and as usual, tried everything she could to convince me to order with her because she is too lazy to walk to the front of the building when the delivery guy comes... even after telling her no and explaining I've decided to stop ordering in and drop some weight so I want to stay away from take out and will ignore her while she's eating, she even asked me to go up and get her food...

I love her, but I'm happy that next week the lazy and obese (she's at least 350, maybe 400 pounds) influence will be out of my direct sphere of influence for the eight plus hours I am at work and I'll just have to focus on separating myself from the habits of my roommates and the day shift people I work with (who hopefully don't all have typical American habits, cuz I know more than a few who do...

the good news is I have not caved in and I have tangible progress and seeem to be continuing one more night to have the right attitude... a bit of venting the frustration of the mess and unhealthy space around me and I am off to get some healthy food, eat small portions, and continue focusing on remembering the healthy habits I actualized most of this life...

I might have let the Disney marathon idea slide by when Bert and Berry moved away (I wonder if I paid for it... suppose I ought to check if I can remember how), but I feel great about the life and health and sense still in me and how all it takes is a decision to return to actualizing it...

hopefully it'll last more than a week this time J