start again

well, sort of (not even sorta, ya see)... a long long time ago in a life far far away, I returned home from the wars on a particular March 1st... perhaps it is no coincidence that the renewal of my contract with life was picked up this year right about that date, however we are cautioned by history to remember that the third great betrayal of trust and failure of true love occured during that year of that particular March 1st and that particular rebirth spiraled into three (or was it nine?) tears of wandering aimlessly wasted on heartbreak, recovery, and the odd mushrooms and weeds and stuff I pulled out of the ground (and occasionally off silver trays and mirrors) to eat and smoke and sniff (though still writing profusely)...

we shall not repeat that spiral this year... unless I win the lottery and then, it will not be quite as depressing a cycle... yes, I am making sense in my head, if not in yours... you are welcome, if you have a few days to visit here and sit and sort through the historical records, try to make sense of it...

another gym visit, and the energy was good (being very generous with the accolade)... after sitting with auditors this morning and then sitting in a seminar all day (with a treat for lunch thrown in, though still not extravagant as I used to eat), I arrived hom and promptly fell dead asleep in the big green chair... I was so dead asleep that I did not wake (not even semi-conscious) to hear any of the American Idol singers who were blaring from the TV that was maybe 12 feet from my chair... wonderful sleep... then it was watch House, then to the gym... and with the best results yet, I am feeling wonderfully hopefully again...

sheesh, I was profoundly depressed for a day or few just a few days ago... scary how well I am doing at this human game... and since I must be awake in less than six hours to drive downtown for a 10 hour seminar, I shall keep this brief (brief being relative to energy level and perspective, naturally)...

work: the audtor asked the questions, I gave the answers, she seemed satisfied (though one can never tell about an auditor)... my boss asked me some questions about what I do in case she was asked while I was gone (she also had my cell # in case of emergency, which makes sense since I am basically the only one who knows everything I do and how it gets done), and I was off to the seminar... I indulged in a $25 lunch at the Marriot lunch cafe, and then tried to stay awake while people drinod on and on in repetitive cycles as if they had this discussion and debate and gripe session many times before (apparently they have)... being the newbie, I listening and being that they were talking in circles, I had little to say... I did meet the husband of one of my co-workers and he seems like a nice guy who was smart enough to bring a laptop so he kepts himself busy while the room debated issues...

already recapped home, so it's time to say nite nite... but first, YAY FOR COMMENTS!... thank you thank you... and... YAY FOR TEXT MESSAGES... thank you... I will figure out how to fit some responding into my daily activities when my days are not so hectic :)

I hope you are taking care of yourselves and hope I continue to wake up cuz it is really boring being down when I don't really have to be... I'm such a silly kid, sometimes... and loving every minute of it...

be good to you :)