one man's pretentiousness may be another's bliss

or precocious, even (and I giggle like a school girl at the thoughts that might be going through our heads)... I am reproducing (cheating) a comment I was just inspired to write for Serenity (cuz I just feel so unbelievably serene, ya know) and calling it this entry here (and maybe elsewhere too cuz I am just so full of myself tonight... maybe it's the graduation ceremony.. pomp and circumstance and all), but first I must suggest that the colliding galaxies reminded me of a cell dividing as the duality and dichotomy and reciprocal nature of life, the universe, and everything (or at least my perspective at the moment) seemed to be clear as squeaky clean glass to my eyes... and Z0tl loves to hate (or hates to love) these moments of innocuous epiphany, enigmatic revelation, or perhaps merely egocentric self-indulgence that I occasionally spill out on to an unsuspecting world like a lunatic child pissing geometric shapes in the snow... ...

I presume so much, aye? :)

but it is... IS!

I am one of the first ten million bloggers at blogspot... I am also one of the first ten million bloggers at myspace... this information has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of this entry, except that it IS too...

there are moments when life is fun for no apparent reason and it is these moments that are the most fun I've known in this life... they come and go at anytime and seem independent of everything... as if some drug or spirit or whatever explanation or metaphor entered my being/body and burst into pure bliss...

anyway, this is the part where I kinda cheat:

I am not sure if it is for better or worse for me (though I think it is for better), but I am finding it more and more challenging to relate to the struggles and finding it easier and easier to enjoy everything and I wonder, is it just a matter of focus, of perspective, of choosing an illusion and making it a reality and letting go... is it just being and not analyzing, is it actually embracing life and death and everything with unconditional love and trusting myself to make the most of it, to appreciate it, to splash in the half-full glass and enjoy it... it seems to me that all I did different is choose, but is it merely choice, can it be so simple?...

and I laugh cuz it doesn't matter, the answers could be yes, no, maybe, or anything, it doesn't matter... all that matters is it works for me, it's happening...

happiness...

I wish everyone felt it as I do, or better, cuz I feel like a bobble head philosopher, that is, my head is not empty and my bliss is not ignorant, it's just bee-bopping along to the rhythms of my heartbeats, swooshing along to the flow of the blood through this body's tubes, giggling at the sniffles and tickled by the drip drip drip of my runny nose, curious about the lump in my abdomen attached to my kidney, and the big stone, and all the little stones... the lump and the stones, ought to be a band name...

being alive and experiencing the sensations... it may be that Hollywood attempted to put a similar experience/perspective on film as Nicolas Cage took that leap of faith in City of Angels... and some think I love that film purely cuz Meg Ryan is in it (just cuz I gush? :)

one...

every day I feel closer to the infant I was when I came into this world, except I have memories and experiences and much more stuff to play with in my head and in life...

I wish you the same and more :)

I so do not want to come off like I am sticking my tongue out or naa-naa-ing anybody cuz I am not, but the exuberance I feel may seem over the top for some, or maybe kinda like Alanis Morrisette poking Jay's nose at the end of Dogma... for those who will not believe such unconditional pleasure can be attained in this life without some explanation or assistance, there may be no way to relate to it...

they can always change their mind though...