writing elsewhere again

just not feeling much interest in the RealTime™ I suppose... three days without the gym might be part of it, but then, maybe not... three days of normal eating too and didn't gain a pound, surprise... I think I am transitioning from the aerobic to the weight training, though the aerobic will not go away and remains my first love...

this thought just came to me, probably not randomly, in spite of appearances... I don't think I've ever been romanced... I am not sure I want to be, but then, how could I know if I've never experienced it... I do know that I am so ridiculously (or so I am told) picky about my intimate partners...

people say they care, but look at what they do...

I am starting to wonder if I really want to believe in a single soulmate for life... loneliness might be influencing that wondering, though I don't feel particularly lonely at the moment... I think I am starting to believe that I believe in something no one else comes near, though many mouth the words and might even sincerely want to believe... maybe I want to be chased...

not chaste, though I am less willing to settle for an intimate relationship of any kind when the pure passion is not there for me... I think I am learning to become distant... life goes on...

I love where I am, yet I want to be somewhere else...

and I feel everywhere, though unnoticed...

so I am relatively nowhere...

and realizing this is as I want it to be brings peace and a smile... playing the traveller, while some part of me does want to be known by one who can truly reach where I am and appreciate all I am, the me I know as me, if such a one exists, none of me wants to pretend I could actually be known or satisfied with the pretense of the superficial knowing that comes from popularity or fame...

I trust no one, I trust everything...

has anyone actually ever kept the promise of forever?...

I am a maze of brief thoughts tonight, and perhaps the past few nights, and I will not pop back entries in this time, I shall just say hello and go...

hello :)