only bleeding

man gotta workout to keep in shape
to live longer and keep feeling great
it takes a lot of effort to be fit
it’s my body and I take care of it
they say no pain no gain and sometimes
it’s so true I stop in my tracks and see
that my nipples bleed
oh my nipples bleed
oh my nipples bleed
ah, thanks Alice, I didn't quite know how to bring it up... yes, I seem to have developed rather sensitive nipples (more sensitive than ever) in recent years and it is too easy to find them bleeding after an hour of vigorous workout... I think the shirt gets too wet, too heavy, and then chafes too much... owie... I must stop ignoring the pain when it starts and I must consider bringing a change of shirts... good grief, what if I run a marathon for a continuous three or four hours... or longer... you really shouldn’t be laughing, you know, I mean, just because I may be a candidate for a man-bra...

the good news is I dropped more weight and am just about 6 pounds away from the first goal I set back in March... I did push the date back due to the complications from the kidneys and BP, but I seem to be back on track and hopefully I’ll live long enough to be a stud on the beach again... ah, mocking myself, always fun (the stud role is so not me)... but healthy and fit, yes, that’s where I want to be... and maybe run another marathon or few... I definitely need to find some more active activity partners...

I just remembered that I didn’t mention that I got a call from a cousin (from the adopted family) who I played with when I was a small child... or did I mention it?... anyway, her family was always uber-close, like talk every day and always over close... they still are... her kids found me on myspace (I think)... I was bouncing around after the call, but it’s bittersweet cuz I never had that (because I learned how not to from my adopted parents)... their inter and co-dependencies and materialism are a bit too needy for me, but it’s still nice to feel like they care... of course they did mention getting stuff from my parents as apparently my adopted mother died last year (they said she was hit by a car) and her husband (who they curse out a lot) refused to give anything to them... that’s him, ostracizes everyone (I mean, he didn’t even call to tell me anything) and I finally stopped calling and walked away from all the drama...

it was a peaceful weekend... it is usually a peaceful weekend around here, it’s a couch potato zone... Raspy doesn’t have much choice as he’s usually broke between Precious, rent, his car payments, and other bills... I feel for him, but I’d also have a lot more saved (and a new computer and music system and cooler stuff to play with and maybe even a retirement fund) if I didn’t live with them and if I didn’t consider them family... I covered half her iPod and half her prom dress and loaned him four figures a while back (and amused, but serious too, I wish he would win the Lotto he plays every week so he could pay me back)... he makes a lot more than I do, but paying for two here gives him a lot more bills, especially when one is a teenage girl who spends money faster than she gets it and always has a reason why she can’t find any sort of job (basically her schedule is too full of working theatre jobs for free)... typical USA spoiled teen, but she’s still lovable in spite of her lack of concern for how her lifestyle destroys the planet (and tolerates my reminders now and then too)...

I’d still like to be a lot more active and do more than sit around, but I don’t always want to go out by myself... Jackson (my officemate) and I are going to Disney on the 28th... Tuesday night I’ll probably treat for the Harry Potter film and snacks for the three of us... on the 22th there’s Warped Tour and like previous concerts, I bought the tickets and don’t expect payback... he just can’t afford it... maybe if they stopped spending $20 a week or more on Pepsi... so what’s the point... would life be better if I lived alone or with someone who was more active or budgeted their money better?... maybe, maybe not... I’d do more and pay for less, but better is relative... I must be bored cuz all this ruminating is a waste of time... it’s the story of my life, giving it all away, or at least one of them... maybe some lament is in order?...

all my life I’ve given it all away
taken care of everyone who came near
and it seems I’ve always got more to give
and it feels good to be able to show how much I care
but sometimes I wonder why it seems so one sided
is this the way my life was meant to be
sometimes I have a dream... (time I confided)
for just a moment someone takes care of me

hey, I wonder if that is what Jesus would say?... ok, there I am making a joke again (and there I am, up on the stage... thanks Bob)... I mean, people are always asking what would Jesus do right?... or say, in this case... I suppose Tim Rice wrote it much better, but hey, it’s my blog and it doesn’t always have to be all fun and games...

maybe it’s the nipple effect...

and more than maybe, it’s time for sleep... fatigue has obviously effected my brain (see, there’s no off switch, but there is this dimmer switch and really cool fog machine)... of course I will stop by myspace, being addicted now, before I fall over... but not for long (I think)... so nite nite my dear people and I hope you’ve enjoyed this ride through the deep dark dungeons of my psyche (where drama is king, no doubt)... no worries, I’m only bleeding (there’s a song in that title, I’m sure of it... maybe when I’m awake again, aye?)...