titles are overrated

it's one of those rare losing interest in babbling online phases in the world of candoor and company… it happens every few hundred million years, which is, of course, just a blip in the timespace continuum of the infiniverse… though coupled with the hyper-busy and distracted phase that was already going on when this moment eclipsed it, it may seem like an eternity before the flow of words that we all live for returns… no worries, however, tomorrow never knows and poof can happen at any moment, after all, so it's always wise to be prepared for it…

hopefully i won't go poof anytime soon…

there will probably, as usual, be entries, most likely composed of comments and other assorted babbling from here or there or somewhere cuz i am the babbling never actually pauses for more than a few moments and the flood that finds it's way online even as a trickle every few hours, popping up to fill in the dates that have passed recently… just in case you have the time i lack to read (oh, how i miss the early retirement days of the nineties when i had time to read and write and play and live and love life without any work obligations of distractions for twenty-four hours a day)… i mean, i know there are people out there who are enjoying leisure time like i used to and if you are one, well, i am available for adoption…

so much amusement, so little time…

so it's still the same old story in spite of the time passing, which is why the lyrics to that old song made so much sense, ya know… the door is open for love and fun and friends and a really hot lover and libido fantasies and most especially for the one… even if i am not advertising or looking or even ready with time and physical presence to be there at the moment… most of life is bullshit, after all… happy people learn to enjoy it somehow and appreciate the few precious genuine moments of honesty and meaning when they happen by… really lucky people are also wise enough to create a few of those precious moments, but then, ironically, that is new age philosophy and evolutionary enlightenment (and therein, bullshit) to most of the human race these days…

ah, the stars smile during the day and twinkle at night…

ok, so trying to work from home doesn't work too well… the big green chair is too relaxing to do the mouse-keyboard work that spreadsheets and databases require (since I don't know enough keyboard commands to do everything by keyboard… and they there's the adaptation to the laptop keyboard every time cuz it's set up differently than the desktop keyboard)… ultimately, i would need a desk and chair at home if i really wanted to work at home (which i don't apparently… which adds to the realization that i do not really live here and do no really want to be in this messy cluttered dirty space that has no ergonomics for much of anything (not even sleeping at the moment)… even the big green chair is starting to show signs of age as the mechanism is not as strong and stable as it used to be… alas, home is where the heart is, so i'm still home inside and everywhere, but not in any specific person, place, or thing…

this week saw another step back toward the healthier paths i used to live on… more salads, fewer candies and heavy starches and sugars and fats… i didn't run or get to the gym, i did a little workout during softball night, thought the game was rained out… apathy still rules the body, but the mind still looks in the direction of recovering my former physical self… nobody actually cares except me in the physical world, which doesn't help, but then it isn't about anyone else, really… loving self and doing what is right for self, even though it can be shared, is a solitary path… i know that well… no matter how much i dream of sharing it…

i intend to get to sleep early tonight so i can wake about 3am and head into work early cuz there's a few days work to do before a two o'clock meeting... life is so exciting (sarcasm)... these busy mostly work times would be so much more rewarding if there was some real sharing going on in the intimate world, instead of just working to make money to give to those around me who aren't really sharing, but just continue taking... but in spite of what i observe or am told, that is the way humans are in this life, at least from my experience so far...

I watched videos last night… X-Men 3, The Last Stand was on cable in between the videos, but mostly the night was a marathon of videos… the videos were The Bourne Ultimatum cuz Raspy never saw it… then The Number 23 and then Live Free or Die Hard and then Stardust… much fun was enjoyed by the synapses in this head that shares words with you, especially cuz it was such a roller coaster of sensory stuff and strangeness… i enjoy strangeness in the stimulus that enters this head… and wouldn't you know, Stardust was the perfect last video to send me off to la la land with sweet dreams of true love and the wonderful lives that can come when such magic is actualized in the physical reality of our world (or any world) and best of all, shared…

and come to think of it, i did pop three or four entries into other blogs this week, a couple of videos and a rhyme and even a bit of babble btc… i mean, just in case your thought i was just blowing smoke when i reminded us that the babbling and flow of attempted and potential sharing continues even when i may be as gone as i seem at these moments… i don't know if that would change at all if someone actually shared everything with me in this life, something would change, i think, but probably not the relatively constant flow of attempted and potential sharing cuz, after all, that is part of the magic of this life…

and for posterity and anyone who just showed up here for the first time, i may have gotten a bit more real-me than usual in the past few entries, amidst the babble, but then, that is just my opinion and nobody shares enough in the real-me world to confirm this at the moment… still, it may be there, in case you want to know…

and for the few of you who stop by here regularly for an update on the mundane details of daily life because you care about me, today was a lazy day (except for laundry, which started during the videos last night)… the TV offered NFL playoffs, as it usually does at the time of year… the roomies did their usual thing… and that's life in this world at this end of the internet line today… i thank you for stopping by, if you did/do, while i am in this mostly-away and not-uploading time and even more, i love you for leaving a few words to let me know my words mattered enough to you to inspire a response from you… or at least you care about me… that feels very good inside, where i live… i hope my appreciation feels good to you too…

joy to the world :)