holiday message (part one)

the ridiculous seduces the sublime and they have several children, three of which grow up to write this next two part blog entry behind the candoor, but the twist for a change is that instead of bringing RealTime™ to the babbler for playful expansion and random asides, the babbler brings the children here to expose themselves and celebrate the birth and death of two of my holiest heros, harry and john, and the legacy of memories they engraved in my mind, which may have little or nothing to do with the post itself, but still the timing was right so the following holiday message (now in three parts, at least) was (now were) prematurely created long after the original sin that became the greatest secret (and fiction) the world has ever known…

what i mean is... whoever be so bold as to believe they understand must either be in my head or in my bed or just lucky i guess, cuz this particular story starts out goes something like this... i mean, what i mean is… i have watched you take shape from a jumble of parts and i see in your form the potential for art and i would like to sculpt you with my own two hands without concern over who or what understands... but the sensual pleasures that human beings fear create walls of repression and graves of despair and the people lay down like lambs lead to the slaughter cuz, for example, no man will admit ever feeling the hots for his daughter or some budding young sexual flower still so firm and fit and pure innocently exploring her sexuality (unless drunk or drugged to the point where inhibitions dissolve and true feelings are told)...

and then we feign shock: omigosh, a serious statement, controversial, no doubt… (instructions: stare blankly into space while cleaning navel, appear genuinely surprised by the lint, play with it a few moments, smile and stare at the camera, reader, audience {cuz they’re such a lovely, after all}, walk away passively, {optional ending: continue}, thank you for following these instructions)… must be past bedtime or something i ate… ordering the food thai hot may have been a mistake, aye?... thigh hot?... (brief commercial interlude: hot thighs?... ring slim jim, 407-555-sexyway for your remedy, offer not available in conservative states), but we’ll get to thighs later, right now we’re on to the great secret of humanity, the fear of sex… yes, the pretense that sexual desire must be kept under wraps, under covers, secret…

idiots…

of course i mean no offense… naturally that was written more or less tongue-in-cheek… more or less… obviously cuz i mean no harm or insult… truthfully just stating the facts, ma’am… seriously (what?... where did all the commas go?) the hypocrisy (of the human love-hate {read: fear} relationship with sex) is the basis of every marketing campaign from religion to soap, from politics to candlesticks... fear of sex is the basis for all the big religions (and many of the small ones, even cults, cuz ultimately, {potable quotables coming up} religions are distractions from real life and religion is something to do to avoid playing with your genitalia, you know) and most of the laws of most nations…

popular culture is similar, you’ve see it (unless you are blind, in which case, perhaps you’ve felt it)… every-day cartoons tease children and adults alike with young nubile bodies dressed in skimpy cartoon costumes, kids and teens casually showing panties and bulges all so innocently, as if nobody is noticing, are all the rage… and from the dawn of time, in spite of the occasional public outcry, the same public clamour for tits and ass in spoken and written stories and more recently, in television and movies... i wonder how different it would have been if men were not in charge…

anyway, as i might have repeated before it happened, the scene moves from the ridiculous to the sublime (and their kids play with it)… this idiocy of human fear dominates the landscape of human behavior… when it comes to the human body people seem to demonstrate one of the most suicidal aspects of humanity (and the most obvious hypocrisy to me, but then, that could just be my perspective, after all), even more so than the golden rule bullshit or the rest of the holier than thou platitudes humanity uses to put others down (and kill things, especially each other), but overlook when it comes to living up to them themselves...

yes, the whole concept of sex freaks people out... no wait, i am still serious (why are you laughing?... you’re not laughing?... eeek, am i in trouble, mom?)… jails are full of confused people who chose not to control their own hands and actions cuz they never grew out of or learned to control childhood or adolescent sexual urges and fantasies... mostly because too much irrational fear and repression creates psychological disorders and maladaptive behaviors… psychiatric hospitals are filled with children who are condemned for life, labeled and drugged for exploring their natural curiosity... people kill each other (and themselves) daily over sex... it is really quite sad, pathetic, cruel, and a waste...

so don't do it...

that's right, you heard me, don't do it... just say no to abstinence… don't be afraid of your body... it is your body… touch yourself... seriously, start touching yourself now… right now… play with your genitals... rub your fingers all over your skin, all over your body... find the spots that tickle, that annoy… find those places on your body that feel so good you are afraid and suddenly pull your hand away, then go back there slowly and say, loud as you please, fuck you fear, it's my body and i'm gonna make it feel good...

that’s right… say it… do it… feel it… caress it… stroke it… rub it… enjoy it…

and then do it with your friends...


go ahead, we’ll wait…



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isn’t that better?...


now you can enjoy part two of your gift…