once a letter was here
so i look to emails i've been writing of late and find some thoughts i shall expound on here in realtime (isn't it ironic)...
starting off, I was so jealous (as much as i get jealous, which is a joke compared to normal humans, hence the sarcastic so, but i guess you had to be here, huh?... so much you've missed) when I read about friends (couples, I think) concert goings... I don't go to enough concerts (or shows or theatre or creative stuff) to satisfy me these days, mostly cuz I spend so much time playing softball and working and also cuz I enjoy playing with people more than I enjoy going to shows alone and I don't have many choices of people to go with (or the partner to go everywhere with me, ya know... i guess people becoming my friends these days don't know how much music means to me, especially live music)... I've got tickets to two shows and a couple of concerts down the road, but still haven't figured out who I am going to take and it's still not enough (doesn't help that I am insatiable, aye? :)
and ultimately I laugh (good laugh yes, good laugh) cuz I am too busy with work and softball and the odd social or creative night out to get organized enough to actually plan much more than I already do and I am having fun, but yeah, insatiable, ya know, I want more... more more more... more to do, more to share, more to play, more to see, more to hear, more creative play, more emotional catharsis, more intellectual stimulation, more intimacy of every kind and yes, sex would be nice too... more more more so much want, so little time, who could or would ever want to keep up (ah, the ultimate question :)
story of this life (for me at least)... though i still have no doubt that i have no intention of actually growing up and am pleased as punch about the fact that i've succeeded so long where so many others seemed to have either failed or given up or compromised, it sure does get lonely sometimes being a kid in a older body in this world of tired old stoic grown ups (so why do i still enjoy smirking about it so much?... incorrigible child :)
so i am writing a lot less (like those years i was sharing in a relationship cuz i've not found anyone who loves words as much as i do to share life with, except i am not sharing space with anyone), but whatever, ya know...
love you anyway :)
starting off, I was so jealous (as much as i get jealous, which is a joke compared to normal humans, hence the sarcastic so, but i guess you had to be here, huh?... so much you've missed) when I read about friends (couples, I think) concert goings... I don't go to enough concerts (or shows or theatre or creative stuff) to satisfy me these days, mostly cuz I spend so much time playing softball and working and also cuz I enjoy playing with people more than I enjoy going to shows alone and I don't have many choices of people to go with (or the partner to go everywhere with me, ya know... i guess people becoming my friends these days don't know how much music means to me, especially live music)... I've got tickets to two shows and a couple of concerts down the road, but still haven't figured out who I am going to take and it's still not enough (doesn't help that I am insatiable, aye? :)
and ultimately I laugh (good laugh yes, good laugh) cuz I am too busy with work and softball and the odd social or creative night out to get organized enough to actually plan much more than I already do and I am having fun, but yeah, insatiable, ya know, I want more... more more more... more to do, more to share, more to play, more to see, more to hear, more creative play, more emotional catharsis, more intellectual stimulation, more intimacy of every kind and yes, sex would be nice too... more more more so much want, so little time, who could or would ever want to keep up (ah, the ultimate question :)
story of this life (for me at least)... though i still have no doubt that i have no intention of actually growing up and am pleased as punch about the fact that i've succeeded so long where so many others seemed to have either failed or given up or compromised, it sure does get lonely sometimes being a kid in a older body in this world of tired old stoic grown ups (so why do i still enjoy smirking about it so much?... incorrigible child :)
so i am writing a lot less (like those years i was sharing in a relationship cuz i've not found anyone who loves words as much as i do to share life with, except i am not sharing space with anyone), but whatever, ya know...
love you anyway :)
posted by candoor at 3:18 AM
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