hey, i could have linked porn

"you can roll manure in powdered sugar but it still ain't a jelly donut"

ah, american colloquialisms... usa americans, that is... the rest of the amercias (perhaps I meant americans., but perhaps I am channeling Spanish babbling made up words now too) might have their own colloquialisms, but the majority of americans do not speak english, so their colloquialisms are lost on the americans who think they are the world's only americans, but that is beside the point... in fact, the quote above is beside the point, but that's the way things go sometimes, or often, even...

I was heading for something like this:

so many choices for some sort of social interaction and i choose to relax at home and give myself some private self-time... two people out there in the local real life wanted to get together this weekend, but sometimes i just want to take care of my own stuff and be alone... so i am doing laundry and might actually do some re-packing and deep cleaning tonight...

saturday night, for the world who works the monday through friday 9-5, is also a time for relationships... coupling... and lately i've been pondering coupling more than i have in recent times (any wonder why my rhymes have slowed to a crawl, aye?)... that's mostly because jane brings it up and you know me, hopefully hopeful romantic... so actually, asking me brings up the fact that i am alone and why a hopefully hopeless romantic is not in love in a wonderful intimate happily-ever-after relationship is probably a fair question... good, even...

my first thought is that i could fall into a relationship anytime because sharing and loving is easy for me and yet, do i really want a temporary fling... not really, so she'd have to be nearly ideal in the no-strings and libido-fantasy sense... but for someone mature with a family who might want to develop a permanent relationship that becomes part of the whole life i've lived... well, for that i seem to become a drama queen with all sorts of excuses and baggage and obstacles and excuses, did i mention excuses?... like ok, i should probably deal with the stuff in storage and the unresolved toronto crap and the fact that i ask for too much of humans (just to dream the impossible dream and live it like i do, but that's too much, like i know i ask perfection from a quite imperfect world and i'm fool enough to think that's what i'll find but just because i believe in love and that illusion, but that does not mean i do not know it is an illusion...

what?...

oh, yeah, i'm babbling... maybe later some babble-place will find a new entry... saturday night, the laundry is calling, the house is asking for cleaning and all that, i hope you are enjoying yourself too :)

yeah, so there I was in thereal and the real became more real and distraction upon distraction slithered into the mix (and that was after the crappy att service distracted me from yet another almost return to music once again… so many false hopes in this fool’s game I play, but that’s sort of another story or… at least another perspective on the same story… depends on which window we choose to look in on… or something like that… aherm, and all… narf)…

but what was almost:

do a little dance
make a little love
get down tonight

actually, it’s do a little laundry, clean a little more, get back to write… so getting back to writing, here we are…

where were we?...

yes, well, nobody really appreciates my manic and apparently random leaps of consciousness and subject matter and certainly no one comes close enough to spend the time to even try to explore the deeper depths of meaning layered within and between the lines (even the few who claimed to have tried, or perhaps they did – though proof is in the outcome as much as the effort and here we are, alone again, anybody trying?)… wah wah doo wah diddy and all that c’est la vie…

but the point was lingering in the life of incompletion and disarray… and does the disarray keep the one away?... does the
maintenance appear too high?... I started many entries for the babble places in the last year or two… and many RealTime™ entries as well, just like this one (babbling, which was supposed to belong behind the candor but it actually moved into and practically took over RealTime™ years ago, cha know, which is why I practically twitter now in thereal, in case you haven’t noticed)… but the words remain in files incomplete, distracted by life, sidetracked by other things…

in the case of this particular entry, an email inspired by the thoughts above, or a few emails that inspired the thoughts above, came along some time yesterday (I think it was yesterday) and there’s just no time to copy and paste the emails into another web page and link it here so the continuity of the babble is breaking down regularly which is why the babble so rarely makes it up on the web because without the continuity, the genius is missing and it’s all scattered nonsense, a mere shell of the meaningful maze it might be… if you get what I mean, wow, you are cool…

so maybe I am thinking about stuff again, you know, deep stuff… the stuff of planet candora, perhaps… even… perhaps I’ll find and re-read and edit and upload the latters (and letters too) pondering this stuff one of these days and find that a new phase of this life is about to begin… or something like that…

until then, if just for the fun of it, but just as much for the irreverent seriousness that fits right in with the serious irreverence this blog is mostly all about, this incomplete entry suddenly ends right here