back to work
I fell asleep in the big green chair after eating the salad I did not eat for lunch and two veggies burgers... about four hours later (my sleep rhythm, that is sliding in and out of the deeper stages of sleep, has consistently been four hour segments throughout this life)... and a wonderful (and quite sensual) dream woke me as I touched consciousness and brought the dream into reality for a few seconds... after about an hour of enjoying breathing and being in this body (in spite of it's relatively constant semi-bloat state of late), I stretched and came out here to say hello...
hello J
everybody seems to be sick... Rasputin is still hacking on everything, not to mention licking his fingers while cooking and licking spoons while cooking and while spooning out communal foods like peanut butter, mayonnaise, and so on and almost never washing his hands... Precious has the same habits... and they wonder why they are frequently coming down with colds and flu bugs... and the people I work with closely are also sick with cold and flu symptoms (par for the course in a hospital)... my officemate was out sick today...
of course a healthy respect and awareness of the microscopic world in which bacteria, virii, and parasites thrive can also spoil some of the more fun things in life, life wild sex with strangers or even the intimate (and once quite socially acceptable) greeting of kissing a hand, a cheek, or lips... seems the Europeans have survived a long time doing that, but on the other hand, there were those plagues...
I heard it might snow around here tonight...
so I headed back to work today and was bouncing with energy... while I am not nearly as rested as I'd like to be (and my immune system is working overtime trying to keep all the winter cold and flu bugs from moving in and getting comfortable in this body, hence the recurring nagging sniffles of late), still want that extended vacation of a month or few, and did not re-kick-start my metabolism during the recent week off do with any exercise, life in this body is a big YAY (sniff sniff)...
and the best thing for me now would probably be lay down and sleep for another four or more hours, but I am feeling rested again... the body craves more exercise while the brain is in ultra-lazy mode... or is that vice-versa?... well, whichever part of me that is in ultra-lazy mode is definitely in charge of things and has been for quite some time now (ever since the 2004 hurricanes... weird, huh?)... of course my heart has been mostly sleeping (or is that mostly dead... ironically, I just deleted by mistake the most recent entry in the land of the mostly dead... sucks when I do that, especially when I don’t' have it backed up anywhere... grumbles shall follow)...
and it doesn't help that Rasputin just woke with his usual habit of sitting on the couch and farting a few times... tonight it sounded like he really should have gone to the bathroom before he came out to nod off on the couch before getting ready for work... smells like it too... luckily I found a can of vanilla floral air freshener while cleaning this week... well, not this week, actually, just last night after writing the entry here (yeah, I decided it was time to start cleaning and doing laundry the last night of my vacation so I didn't get to sleep until after 4am... that's when I wrote the entries in mostlydead... one of which I deleted... that really bugs me...
anyway, from my experience with roommates, there's always something not desirable and poor health habits are challenging to live with, but that's the nature of compromise when not wealthy enough to live in space and comfort on one's own... the pondering I've been doing about relocating next year is obviously bringing me back to paying attention to my immediate environment, which is not always a good thing...
I think I'll go get some yogurt or something now... I don't think there's any chocolate in the house... maybe I am swinging back around to a bit healthier (and more economical) eating habits again... how many times have I thought that in the past couple of years... and I just let the roller coaster roll along as it will, knowing I can do as I please and control it, but I just let the human influences of this culture (and roommates) continue to drive the bus off the cliff...
this entry is way too long for this place... and way too whiny... the oddest thing about me is I am still enjoying the moment, even as I am dang pissed off at myself for deleting an entry (it was a Valentine's entry Tim Burton would have been proud of) and nagging sniffles are crating post nasal drip and the kitchen is a germ factory (with dirty dishes in both sinks again and counters almost never wiped down) and I'm not as lonely as usual but still wish I had a partner (one with healthy habits and a will and energy level and strength on every level to actually inspire me to wake up and optimize this body and life once again cuz I don't seem interested in doing it myself at the moment and have never had a partner who would take the lead, or a mother, for that matter... not that I want a mother... I want a teammate who, at the moment, is way ahead of me because I've slide down into the bush leagues, so to speak)...
this entry is obviously destined for btc, eventually...
and so, for RealTime™ here, I say g'nite...
hello J
everybody seems to be sick... Rasputin is still hacking on everything, not to mention licking his fingers while cooking and licking spoons while cooking and while spooning out communal foods like peanut butter, mayonnaise, and so on and almost never washing his hands... Precious has the same habits... and they wonder why they are frequently coming down with colds and flu bugs... and the people I work with closely are also sick with cold and flu symptoms (par for the course in a hospital)... my officemate was out sick today...
of course a healthy respect and awareness of the microscopic world in which bacteria, virii, and parasites thrive can also spoil some of the more fun things in life, life wild sex with strangers or even the intimate (and once quite socially acceptable) greeting of kissing a hand, a cheek, or lips... seems the Europeans have survived a long time doing that, but on the other hand, there were those plagues...
I heard it might snow around here tonight...
so I headed back to work today and was bouncing with energy... while I am not nearly as rested as I'd like to be (and my immune system is working overtime trying to keep all the winter cold and flu bugs from moving in and getting comfortable in this body, hence the recurring nagging sniffles of late), still want that extended vacation of a month or few, and did not re-kick-start my metabolism during the recent week off do with any exercise, life in this body is a big YAY (sniff sniff)...
and the best thing for me now would probably be lay down and sleep for another four or more hours, but I am feeling rested again... the body craves more exercise while the brain is in ultra-lazy mode... or is that vice-versa?... well, whichever part of me that is in ultra-lazy mode is definitely in charge of things and has been for quite some time now (ever since the 2004 hurricanes... weird, huh?)... of course my heart has been mostly sleeping (or is that mostly dead... ironically, I just deleted by mistake the most recent entry in the land of the mostly dead... sucks when I do that, especially when I don’t' have it backed up anywhere... grumbles shall follow)...
and it doesn't help that Rasputin just woke with his usual habit of sitting on the couch and farting a few times... tonight it sounded like he really should have gone to the bathroom before he came out to nod off on the couch before getting ready for work... smells like it too... luckily I found a can of vanilla floral air freshener while cleaning this week... well, not this week, actually, just last night after writing the entry here (yeah, I decided it was time to start cleaning and doing laundry the last night of my vacation so I didn't get to sleep until after 4am... that's when I wrote the entries in mostlydead... one of which I deleted... that really bugs me...
anyway, from my experience with roommates, there's always something not desirable and poor health habits are challenging to live with, but that's the nature of compromise when not wealthy enough to live in space and comfort on one's own... the pondering I've been doing about relocating next year is obviously bringing me back to paying attention to my immediate environment, which is not always a good thing...
I think I'll go get some yogurt or something now... I don't think there's any chocolate in the house... maybe I am swinging back around to a bit healthier (and more economical) eating habits again... how many times have I thought that in the past couple of years... and I just let the roller coaster roll along as it will, knowing I can do as I please and control it, but I just let the human influences of this culture (and roommates) continue to drive the bus off the cliff...
this entry is way too long for this place... and way too whiny... the oddest thing about me is I am still enjoying the moment, even as I am dang pissed off at myself for deleting an entry (it was a Valentine's entry Tim Burton would have been proud of) and nagging sniffles are crating post nasal drip and the kitchen is a germ factory (with dirty dishes in both sinks again and counters almost never wiped down) and I'm not as lonely as usual but still wish I had a partner (one with healthy habits and a will and energy level and strength on every level to actually inspire me to wake up and optimize this body and life once again cuz I don't seem interested in doing it myself at the moment and have never had a partner who would take the lead, or a mother, for that matter... not that I want a mother... I want a teammate who, at the moment, is way ahead of me because I've slide down into the bush leagues, so to speak)...
this entry is obviously destined for btc, eventually...
and so, for RealTime™ here, I say g'nite...
Labels: alas, babble, blah, dreams, fantasy, food, germs, grumbs, health, lazy, life, loneliness, mtmm, oops, ouch, rest, sigh, whine, work, yay
posted by candoor at 11:58 PM
5 Comments:
oh, no! YOU deleted an entry? teh whole Univerxe is bugged about IT, not jes U... (---...) norse morse code.
lol!
Candoor, opening bottles with your teeth in your youth, now that is some chew!
I must confess I've seen it done, but only once or twice
Chewing icecubes was as far as I went, but now I have to settle for sucking them.
I always wondered about that saying - "teaching grandma to suck eggs" - before or after she got her dentures?
Well, being a virtual phobic person when it comes to germs (with good reason given how sick they have made me over the course of a lifetime), doesn't seem to do much to ward off the germs (though I never get the flu which is probably why this one is going on its second week now), unless it is the stomach flu, in which case I only need to be within 100 miles of it and I will definitely get it. But I hope that the germs stay away, and with a roommate like you paint of Rasputin it is no small wonder that you aren't sick more of the time, but there must be something quite lovable about him because you do seem to reserve a certain affection for him.
I'm sorry about the deleted entry. It is a loss, like a loss of a little part of yourself when words you have let flow from some part of you are lost and no way to retriever that moment in time when they flowed the way they did.
I hope some sleep is coming your way and you are still bouncy and feeling happy and staying healthy and finding some chocolate, because the way I see it a life without chocolate is just a bit too much deprivation for anyone to bear.
Love, hugs and lotsa Yay!
I'd scream, but I hate to scream alone...
I must do something about this build up of energy soon or I will explode... all this laziness is making any sort of normal conversation or activity sharing nearly impossible because all I want to do is bounce and people seem to get tired just as I'm shaking off the cobwebs and revving up my engines...
meanwhile, Elpien is setting me up for a Disney day with her 22 year old retarded cousin from the backwoods of eastern west virginia (or maybe western Virginia) and I must remember not to associate the words in this case (you know the loop, virginia, virgina, vagina, virgin virginia... well, then again, maybe you don't know it... unless you happened to drink heavily in or around the state of virginia, then maybe you do)... anyway, I won't take advantage of the kid unless she forces me to)...
save the cheerleader and save the world!...
yeah, so it was a Valentine's Day entry complete with rhymes and everything and I'd love to know how I felt on Valentine's Day in 2007, but I'll never know now because I forgot to save a copy and I think I actually wrote the thing in the live journal box, fool that I can be...
that so does not sound like me...
I keep looking for it... that deleted entry... I keep telling myself it's unbelievable after all this time that I would forget to save an entry in a word or notepad file before sending it out on the cyberwaves... I wander aimlessly through the same files again and again, over and over, repeatedly, even, hoping to find the rhyme and entry and not really seeing what I'm looking at or noticing I'm running over the same old ground (and have I found the same old fears?... wish you were here)...
sending out an S.O.S. to the world...
and then I remember I was doing something (and sometimes I remember what that was), like writing a response comment to three of the best people in the whole omniverse (you'd be at the top of the list of who I'd take with me if the Vogons showed up to destroy the planet and a passing acquaintance of ten years or so suddenly revealed to me that he's always been an alien all along and showed me a way off this great big blue-green exploding ball... don't forget your towel)...
I am munching on pretzels after eating a salad and two veggie burgers (no bread or cheese) cuz I am hoping starchy (but fat-free) pretzels are gonna fill me up without slowing me down (or rather, without putting more poundage on the flesh) cuz somebody's gotta take care of this body cuz I sure ain't doing it (maybe Harry Chapin's Pretzel Man can help) and I don't want to get too desperate for saving cuz I might just compromise myself too much for even myself and then somebody's get hurt and I sure don't want to ever have to go through that again...
maybe it's not the end of the world (as we know it), but don't they know I don't feel so fine all the time anymore (and that's not just the time taking it's toll in the ordinary course of affairs on this mortal coil... or the Lacuna Coil, for that matter)...
Rasputin just went to bed and he said Precious is supposed to clean the kitchen when she gets home with his Diet Pepsi's... HA-ha (quoting the little Barney kid on the Simpsons, if you know what I mean)... I'm all alone and left to my own devises (the computer, the TV, the remote, and so on) and of course, that means the Sci-Fi channel which is 78% of the televised background noise in my world (just the televised background noise, mind you, which has a bigger cut of the overall background noise time than ever before as music is seldom anyone's choice but mine here and I just roll with the flow of late) and a rather cheesy show (imagine a cross between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Men In Black (with a little Get Smart tossed in) though the attempts at humor miss their mark for me most of the time and there's no instant libido fantasy value either, so it's only on cuz it's on and the remote is across the room and I'm not much interested in playing with it or watching anything, so obla dee obla da...
it might be that I am in the mood to babble...
yes, my teeth have opened many the bottle... that is why four of them, the bottle opening ones, have some sort of artificial covering the dentist put on them a few years ago for $750 each and insurance only covered $1500 total $4500 or so the dentist charged me for letting him and his dental assistants play in my mouth that year which is why I stopped going to the dentist cuz there were no cavities after about fifteen years between dental visits (though my gums were weak and flabby from inconsistent and very un-vigorous brushings, a habit I've since remedied) and I figured I could use a few thousand for myself (little did I know Precious would move in to absorb that portion of my would-be retirement savings and then some)...
I don't think I actually ever sucked eggs, unless that's yet another old slang become new again for oral sex, but I don't think so... I've heard it used as a derogatory afterthought about an unpleasant experience as in that really sucked eggs or a semi-insulting rebuff go suck an egg and, of course, the one about grandma (and I feel certain that there's a high probability that there are others, but oral sex?... naaaa, unless, of course, I just started the trend... I mean, slang has to start somewhere, right?...
there's something bubbling up from the toilet on the tele (imagine that spoken in a Monty Python faux-female voice if you really want a peak into my mind)... and his mate replies oh, is it Ralph?... which could start a skit that could go in any of a number of directions like no, no, we flush I'm real good, that one, probably halfway to France by now which begs the reply oh, well who is it then? and so on and so forth and moody bloody doo... see what watching television (or at least glancing up occasionally) can do to a mind?...
I think I've forgotten that this is a comment...
yeah, Raspy is a real easy to get along with kind gentle nice guy when you get past his less than optimal cleanliness and myriad of unhealthy habits (and his ability to completely zone into TV in a fraction of a second and completely disappear from consciousness... it's really quite amusing sometimes, if you don't take it personally... especially when it's commercials that absorb him fastest and deepest... a true child of television, is Raspy... only one of his lovable qualities)... his best (quality) is that he'd do anything for his daughter... and he's practically completely non-judgmental... asks for next to nothing and would give a friend the skin off his back, no less the shirt... well, almost... maybe... yeah, he's a genuine old-fashioned mid-western nice guy...
Precious came home with her obsession and controller (he's all but pushed Dreamer out of her life and she doesn't even see it... he's the kind of insecure guy who wants undivided attention from someone who sees him and only him when he's around and always wants to be with him... it would be nice if she noticed he is so self-absorbed that he doesn't even look at or say hello to me or Raspy when he walks in here and flat out ignores us {pretends he doesn't hear, I suppose} when we say hello... he's got an amazing voice and if he gets the right breaks, will be a prima-donna famous singer one day, but his social skills are rude at best)... she's actually doing the dishes... blind to my existence, they are talking as if I am don't have the TV on and might have been watching... self-absorbed?...
meanwhile, no chocolate... I think it's my way of balancing the complete lack of will power on virtually every other level of eating habit (which might be a good sign, or might be just another sign of some masochistic self-destructive stream running deep through my being... I was going to consider getting back into babbling tonight, but instead, I wrote this comment...
may you be amused, or at least still awake...
sudo-liner: is this your short comment? okay, i'll try to keep up with you...
DEAR BELOVED,
I am Mrs. Christina Holden.
Am married to Dr. Donald Holden. a Liberian who worked for Shell Oil
Company in Nigeria,he died after a brief illness that lasted for only four
days. Before his death we were married for 11 good years without a child
and were both born again Christians . Since his death I decided
not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible
forbids.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $10.5 Million (Ten
Million five hundred thousand U.S.Dollars) with A Bank.Presently, this
money is still under the safe keeping of the RESERVE FINANCE COMPANY
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would notlast for the next Three(3)
months due to my cancer problems.
Though what disturbs me most now, i recently had stroke.Having known my
condition, I decided to donate this fund to church or betterstill a
Christian or muslim individual That will utilize this money theway I am
going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this fund
on,orphanages, deaf and dumb and poor widows propagating the word of God
and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.The Bible made us to
understand that blessed is the hand that giveth.I took this decision
because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband
relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned
money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this
money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this
bold decision.
As soon as I receive your reply I will forward your personal information,
such as Your full name, Your full address, with Your telephone and fax
number to my lawyer through his email so that he will contact you as the
legal owner of my fund before the bank will be transferring the fund into
your nominated Bank Account in your country. I will also issue you a
letter of a authority that will back you up as the real next of kin and
the original- beneficiary of my fund. I want you and the church to always
pray for me because the lord is my shepherd,you will also promise me that
you will not seat on the fund when it gets into your bank account. My
happiness is that I lived a
life of a worthy Christian.
Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.
Please always be
prayerful all through your life, any delay in your reply will give me room
in serching for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose.
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.Hoping
to hear from you as soon as possible.
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Christina Holden.
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