not another manic monday

today was relaxing... Jake 2.0 was on all day, which was a good distraction and then, I cooked a steak and relaxed some more... Enterprise was the distraction for the evening, which was soon followed by V for Vendetta and now, The Outer Limits... yes, it was a full load TV day...

but not just TV... all day I felt progressively better and after the steak, I felt motivated to start laundry and it's still going... lots of loads later, I have run out of hanging room in my closet and have lots more T-shirts that need to go somewhere... I prefer to hang them as folding takes time and leaves folding lines... so a big pile of T-Shirts will live on the chair in my room again...

speaking of space, Q is not the only one reporting on the night sky of my readings... and this new information about our solar system not actually being an original part of the Milky Way is fascinating... I've always liked Sagittariuses...

for the health record, the BP is coming back down to normal, with less meds than yesterday and no diuretic and not much sleep, which leads me to wonder what set it off in the first place... all sorts of wonders wander through my head, from the simplest, the drug change, to complex possibilities like a kidney cyst bursting to some sort of reaction to Sucralose or gaining weight or a high carb week or a reaction to cutting out the diuretic (since the top number exploded while the bottom number only rose slightly and the pulse remained low) to a pancreatic or other glandular reaction to some sort of a stroke to any number of other more exotic theories that would make a good House episode...

of course I have consumed much garlic and oatmeal, both of which are known to lower BP... and I've consumed a lotless water in the past two days than I usually do... so these two factors might be compensating for acceptance of the new med at 75% today and the elimination of the diuretic too... I tried calling the doctor, but he didn't call back... I wish I could find a doctor who was well versed in holistic medicine and natural herbs and BP and kidneys and livers and the potential for type 2 diabetes and whatever else I might have going on in this body as the years move along in this life...

I just may boldly return to the gym tomorrow night... or some time this week... and that's the way it is, was, and always will be for this Monday in RealTime™... still more alone than ever, but not as lonely as yesterday and the pity party seems to be coming to a pause or lightening up or something... after all, I seem to be surviving, so there's still hope that I won't die all alone in RealSpace™ and RealTime™... I just want to be in love with someone who is in love with me one more time in this life, but I know we can't always get what we want...

so I ordered new T-Shirts, cuz Meg & Dia have new ones and I found a few others I liked, which might not make sense, given my overflowing closet, but it gives me some pleasure and perhaps, some illusion of control and contact and worth and most of all, hope for communication when I wear them someday... and I readjusted Libboland, though I haven't uploaded the changes yet... it's an easy escape, the physical fantasies, when the heart is feeling the ache of loneliness... especially with the right videos on the TV...

I may try the doctor again tomorrow... or I may give up on modern medicine as I've done a few times in this life and let life and death take it's natural course... or maybe I'll win the lottery, retire on some tropical island, fall in love, and live forever in bliss... so as another RealTime™ entry comes to it's unnatural end, I close with the hope that you've got what you want today and are enjoying it :)