sorta back in RealTime™
ah, it's become obvious (to me at least) that the babbler has moved into this RealTime™ blog and that sort of defeats the purpose... I mean the purpose of this blog... this was supposed to be a place for brief notes about the daily life that might give many an opportunity to know a bit about me so that maybe more people would find something of interest and then explore the more long-winded writing I, that is the real me as opposed to the writer me who actually does all the long-winded writing, though less now that this blog has let the babbler in, do most every day...
and look what's it become...
what? (who's asking?... I mean, who knows?... I mean, does anybody know?... what do I mean?... what has it become?... maybe... there's duality to this question too... everything has duality, mostly... and sometimes a triality... in fact, in my mind, there's an infinitality, even if it isn't a word that the spellchecker or the Webster people recognize... maybe we've blurred the question and therein obscured the answer... again... what?)...
the babble belongs behind the candor
the love songs belong on planet c
the lament belongs in the lands of the mostly dead
(along with the woe-is-me self-pity)
and even the daily life expounded
along with the history
has a place to be in candor
and then, there's the creativity
so how did it all end up right here
when this place was not meant to be
the free-form artistic emotional meld
that my journal was originally
yeah, so what gives? (I do, the thing is, rare is the taker on the internet looking for piles of drivel, heaps of rubble, fields of flowery rhymes, mountains of babble, and valleys of despair with rivers of irreverence and nonsense running through it... mostly we all look for distraction and amusement, not much unlike the sound bites and brief distractions we find on TV in sit-coms and the news or in songs that take us away for a few minutes... who really wants to spend hours reading this sort of madness and folly and occasional depths in a first contact?... even I don't, I think, though that may be my human training taking effect... or irreverence)...
anyway, I am seriously pondering (at least for a brief moment I will) another change, another makeover, another approach to sharing on the internet... returning to where I started (originally, above) was never my intention here... and as I progressed from candor to the split into planet c and the lands of mostly dead and then giving the incorrigible babbler a home behind the candoor where I thought that maybe there were too many words in too free-form an irreverent mish-most of serious depths and abstractions and odd reference so I came here to eliminate the frills and flush and flowers and extra words only to end up falling into the babbling mostly because I stopped uploading btc...
I suppose this entry gives you the story of the babbler online with focus on the main daily writing spaces (not specifically linking all the side roads, some of which are linked as branches on the tree of madness, in case you wondered, while others are linked amidst the oddness that is on the left side of right, and still others are in the gardens at the crossroads, if you know your way around, and so much more elsewhere (which still only covers a tiny fraction of the writing cuz most of this life there was no online publishing going on)...
in case you wanted to know...
but for me, it's a reevaluation of how I share on the net, especially how I represent myself on a daily basis... this blog has hundreds of entries already and still feels like it's looking for it's voice and more, has become way more words than I intended (and repetitive, did I mention repetitive, again?) leaving archives that present much more than even kind readers have time to wander through if there is any inkling of wanting to get to know me...
how would anybody know if they really wanted to know me in the RealWorld™RealTime™ life offline if there are too many words and too much creative play and irreverent asides and babbling dancing and whatever to read to actually find the RealWorld™ RealTime™ me?...
of course I know you are telling the whole world what a wonderful person I am and how everyone would love to know me and fall in love with me and have my babies, but then, when they come to see for themselves they might not believe me cuz they don't read all my rambles the way you do (see what I mean?... oh dang, this sort of laughing is not supposed to be going on in this entry... yeah, duh, doh, alas, sigh, and ramalamadingdong)...
have fun out there, and don’t let it get you down
(unless you are scrolling :)
I love you for being here, you know that, right? :)
and look what's it become...
what? (who's asking?... I mean, who knows?... I mean, does anybody know?... what do I mean?... what has it become?... maybe... there's duality to this question too... everything has duality, mostly... and sometimes a triality... in fact, in my mind, there's an infinitality, even if it isn't a word that the spellchecker or the Webster people recognize... maybe we've blurred the question and therein obscured the answer... again... what?)...
the love songs belong on planet c
the lament belongs in the lands of the mostly dead
(along with the woe-is-me self-pity)
and even the daily life expounded
along with the history
has a place to be in candor
and then, there's the creativity
so how did it all end up right here
when this place was not meant to be
the free-form artistic emotional meld
that my journal was originally
yeah, so what gives? (I do, the thing is, rare is the taker on the internet looking for piles of drivel, heaps of rubble, fields of flowery rhymes, mountains of babble, and valleys of despair with rivers of irreverence and nonsense running through it... mostly we all look for distraction and amusement, not much unlike the sound bites and brief distractions we find on TV in sit-coms and the news or in songs that take us away for a few minutes... who really wants to spend hours reading this sort of madness and folly and occasional depths in a first contact?... even I don't, I think, though that may be my human training taking effect... or irreverence)...
anyway, I am seriously pondering (at least for a brief moment I will) another change, another makeover, another approach to sharing on the internet... returning to where I started (originally, above) was never my intention here... and as I progressed from candor to the split into planet c and the lands of mostly dead and then giving the incorrigible babbler a home behind the candoor where I thought that maybe there were too many words in too free-form an irreverent mish-most of serious depths and abstractions and odd reference so I came here to eliminate the frills and flush and flowers and extra words only to end up falling into the babbling mostly because I stopped uploading btc...
I suppose this entry gives you the story of the babbler online with focus on the main daily writing spaces (not specifically linking all the side roads, some of which are linked as branches on the tree of madness, in case you wondered, while others are linked amidst the oddness that is on the left side of right, and still others are in the gardens at the crossroads, if you know your way around, and so much more elsewhere (which still only covers a tiny fraction of the writing cuz most of this life there was no online publishing going on)...
in case you wanted to know...
but for me, it's a reevaluation of how I share on the net, especially how I represent myself on a daily basis... this blog has hundreds of entries already and still feels like it's looking for it's voice and more, has become way more words than I intended (and repetitive, did I mention repetitive, again?) leaving archives that present much more than even kind readers have time to wander through if there is any inkling of wanting to get to know me...
how would anybody know if they really wanted to know me in the RealWorld™RealTime™ life offline if there are too many words and too much creative play and irreverent asides and babbling dancing and whatever to read to actually find the RealWorld™ RealTime™ me?...
of course I know you are telling the whole world what a wonderful person I am and how everyone would love to know me and fall in love with me and have my babies, but then, when they come to see for themselves they might not believe me cuz they don't read all my rambles the way you do (see what I mean?... oh dang, this sort of laughing is not supposed to be going on in this entry... yeah, duh, doh, alas, sigh, and ramalamadingdong)...
have fun out there, and don’t let it get you down
nyuk, nyuk...
I love you for being here, you know that, right? :)
Labels: alas, appreciation, babble, blogs, btc, choices, doh, duh, giggle, hope, huh?, irreverence, loneliness, missing, mtmm, perspective, ponder, sigh, smirk, writing
posted by candoor at 9:57 PM
7 Comments:
wherever you are, it doesn't matter, because you are there.
Love will always follow :)
yeah, I just wish it would follow a little closer now and then :)
mostly we all look for distraction and amusement, not much unlike the sound bites and brief distractions we find on TV in sit-coms and the news or in songs that take us away for a few minutes... who really wants to spend hours reading this sort of madness and folly and occasional depths in a first contact? even I don't, I think, though that may be my human training (or irreverence) taking effect...
Therein lies the human limit, though as teenagers we may want to see everything, do everything, go everywhere and BE everywhere ...
we soon realise we are not gods, but mortals with finite minds, and there's only so much Time
so much time to read or do what we must (for pay or bread and butter)
so much time to read or do what we have to (whether wash the dishes, walk the dug or cut the loan)
and so much time to read or do what we want to ... whether it be love of love, or love of chocolate
And then there are times when we want to talk or write or paint or express ourselves ...
but of course there is little point in talking to oneself (too much leads to madness)
and most write and paint for others
Sure we may claim we do it for ourselves, but the pleasure is greater if it is read or appreciated by others
After all most Masters & Writers who did not receive acclaim dies in poverty either mad, bad or sad. Mind you there is no guarantee that fame or acclaim brings one sanity either or saves one from still craving for more ...
alas it is the nature of the beast.
Still, glad you always find time for a visit, and I too enjoy reading thru your posts @ Candoor - though there are clearly many more dimensions, and so much more on your other blogs too.
hmmm, I think my dillemma is that I have not quite yet accepted the whole grown-up thought process so I still perceive myself and life as you describe the teenager (and perhaps I'm not even that mature in the acceptance of humanness)...
and I love every moment of it :)
even when I angst about missing stuff and not having enough time... I think I am addicted to desire, to curiosity, to hunger for more input (like Johnny Five, perhaps, from Short Circuit)...
and like the Kinks sang way back, I see my life as a non-stop Hollywood picture show (though I am on location most of the time :)
alll in all, I've tried many ways of perceiving life and living it too (and I'm open to trying more) and I always find myself returning to my way and loving it all the more upon my return...
it's more fun for me my way...
may we each find our own way that is best for us :)
thanks for being here too :)
lol johnny five more input
and at times we have that surge of energy, with thoughts flowing thru our mind at the speed of light and just bursting to get out almost at the speed of light
alas, for better or worse (mostly better for me), I have that surge you mention, several times a day, like even all the time, most of the time, unless I use a drug or some other distraction...
this weekend I've been using food (especially meat and sugar) and shopping (coputers and clothes) and studying (computer research) hours upon hours and more hours too as a distraction...
and of course, roommates :}
hope you enjoyed your weekend :)
Post a Comment
<< Home