emomaniac

ha, so you all fell for the emo again, just because you want to.. or i want to... or somebody must want to somewhere cuz anything possible so most everything is probably, but that's besides the point… see, the masked avenger squeals with evil gleee (it's the third e that differentiates it from the beautiful innocent glee, which is something important to know if you are going to follow me all the way down down down where your dream are found where they are waiting for us all in a moody bluishness that not even sgt pepper could paint in Technicolor with a capital T , but don't let it get you down because the castles burned to the ground long before you {or your mother} were born and besides, i will always be a storm… can you name those tunes {3x} in four notes?... and while you're on the subject, out dang parentheses!) as the distracted pussy footer plays pornography in the middle of the night while innocent children sleep and dream their wet dreams without knowing why their sheets are damp when they wake but your mother should know, oh, oh, your mother should know…

bonus points for the continued…

28 Weeks later is a film that is on in the background as i write this magnificent cacophony of restitution and violence of the heart in derailed harmony with secret code words strewn closely behind the fourth adjective in the fifth sentence of each paragraph (when there is one, which is almost never, but let the fools search for it anyway, ok?) and as i have fallen asleep twice before during the playing of the said film and am hardly paying any attention at all and have kept the bloody work of madness since before the painfully misnamed holiday most call thanksgiving without making time for it because i've been busy meeting up with people through meetupdotcom, the zombies are barely a distraction for me, but for you, oh yes, for you they are a whole paragraph of mirth and merriment that took us miles away from wherever the first paragraph might have been going which is a shame, perhaps, for there was devil's work once upon a time a paragraph or so ago…

and the man runs for his life as the naked little girls chase him cuz whether to eat him or seduce him, he is screwed in this world for commonality agrees whole heartedly in the fear of death and the condemnation of sex, especially with naked little girls… so we will try not to let the broken nail on the fuckyou finger and it's painful bleeding spot distract from the magical wonder that is becoming this entry but since it just did, we will try harder now and by harder i inferred to suggest no double entendre, m'ok?…

for it is all a game, a scardy-cat exposee seeking to amuse the wise and mesmerize the fools who can't get enough of you love or the poor me pity parties that our supposedly civilized and jokingly enlightened culture pours down the throats of babes like wine at a briss or beer at a college frat party or semen at the local whore house so even the normal are clinically depressed but since it is the norm there is no measure to detect it so happiness is a warm gun koo koo ka choo and poison pills and drink fills the idle hours between the meaningless distraction of work that is done to maintain the peace and tranquility of the masses, just like the religious opiates drilled into the skulls of the young before they can see past the fantasies and so naturally the fairy tales of mother goose and brothers grimm are traded for the fairy tales of the bible and koran (and lets not forget the talmud or kabbalah, jehovah or allah, buddha, vishnu, krishna, and a hundred other names that all come down to the same game of casting all the blame on anywhere but self in the books up on your shelf the stoy's told… and free will dies long before you get old)…

see what i mean?

probably not, but then, my opinion of the human brain is as farcical as the fairy tales you grew up on (if you grew up, that is) and when the blood pours from the elevators (redrum redrum) and the little child is laying just so you see nakedness and can not tell if he or she is wearing underwear, do you wonder if the cinematographer was pandering to the innocent sex drive deep within the psyche of humanity (even deeper than Freud ever imagined) that has mothers all over the world playing with baby penises just to hear the giggles of glee from product of their womb and repress the sexual aspect of the act, but psychobabble and rational thought and religious ignorance will protect the fearful from the truth, so no worries, tony won't get you…

do wah diddy diddy dum diddy dum

or is it doo?... anyway, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?... let them suck wind with all them big breasted girls, especially the fat ones who think it's sexy to have as much blubber as the average whale just because they are brainwashed by men to believe bigger is better or even so sexual repressed or confused and orally fixated that they eat themselves into hypertension and all sorts of fat related diseases… porn panders to such men and pity the women, children, and men too who do not see through the penis-brains in charge of everything, even the world… just too kool for skool, dog...

just because i consumed a few mountain dew gallons tonight does not mean i must bounce around like a rubberized cartoon character, nor must i pander to old men sitting home alone wide awake at three am watching soft core porn on cable and wishing it was someone else's hand instead of their own, but shock value is not the point, nor is driving away all the normal humans with their frailties and gold watches and pandering for love and affection from animals they call dumb simply because they do not understand the simplicity of being aware that love is the answer (and dogs know that, for sure) and love is surrender (you've gotta let it, gotta let it go) but don't act so started unless you really are and if you really are then ask yourself why does the sun go on shining or at least have the decency to be honest with yourself even if you are afraid to be honest with anyone else because they told you not to come (momma told you not to come)…

reason is only half the battle, faith is really fool's gold
logic is a vain excuse to explore and do not as we are told
science allows us to label the things we can't see
liquor allows us to ignore reality
but it's all just putting the human in humanity
it's all just part of being human, oh say can't you see?

life is a mind game we play that will end in our death
truth is illusion we make as important as breath
peace is the willingness to accept compromise
love is the answer we fear that's right before our eyes

you can look to the heavens to avoid your responsibility
you can call upon saviors and pretend that you are not free
you can give up your senses for collective fantasy
blind faith allows us to justify hypocrisy
but it's all just putting the human in humanity
it's all just part of being human, oh say can't you see?

teachers and preachers will put you up on a shelf
study your texts and stop thinking for your self
they will control everything that you think and feel
they will tell you what is right, what is wrong, what is real

and you do not have to concern yourself with rational thought
you can trade your mind for the holiest book you just bought
and believe in the lies upon which all the great wars were fought
because that is what all your wise old teachers have taught
believe them because you were told to so you know you ought

you don't have to learn a thing for the rest of your life
just do as you're told and ignore all the pain and strife
you have a pass that gets you out of any mess you make
you're only human and bound to make every mistake
lie to yourself - tell yourself everything is ok
pray and believe your mess will go away

you are just putting the human in humanity
it's all just part of being human, oh say can't you see?

i'll stop the day i'm struck dead for whatever i do
nothing here is meant to upset or offend you
but if it does then you can easily ignore me
you have a choice in how and what you choose to see
and that is just putting the human in humanity
it's all just part of being human, oh say can't you see?
maybe there is just too much going on in my mind to convey to you in this futile way, but words are all i have to paint with in my hands today and nothing else feels quite as comfortable for me right now, so i will continue as long as the life will allow… cold fish may never get it, but then i'm not trying to feed the world or save it anymore, somewhere along the way, i got careless and someone stole the welcome mat that was once at my door… and i only want to say that if there is a way would you take the cup away from me for i do not want to taste it's poison or feel it burn me for i am not as sure as when i started, what was started?...

someone who believes in me might know… but no one has the time, not even me… and interest may have waned enough to become apathy or at least ambivalence, but cut the suspense for as long as it rhymes it seems like it will be ok no matter what the words may suggest or say… it's all just a game in the mind just like writing a play (don't you remember?) all the world's a stage, old bean, and you can take your bow today…

and if you think i overcomplicate everything you may not understand that what i see is simplicity and amusement in most everything i write even though i do not use the standard conventions of grammar and form and structure is abstract you are only being tested for your ability to perceive the act, 566, to be exact… interlaced with too many inferences and references and innuendos and out your windows and other mind games i play with myself and anyone interested or amused (you don't necessarily need to be interested to be amused, or vice versa, for that matter) for the average man, who, disguised as Ghet Bentt, mild mannered reporter for an obscure metropolitan blog, fights a never ending battle for truth, amusement, and the pursuit of happiness (with a little hope for romance still left on the side)…

it could have been beautiful, mabel, if only the people would have noticed, you know, you could have been something, rock… it was a long thought, longer than some but not as long as others, when it began so many paragraphs ago, and it may have threaded it's way through the long and winding entry that leads to your door (many times i've been alone and many times i've tried), but as we come to a fork in the road and anticipate pause (so rarely does conclusion come, after all), the mind thanks you for stopping by and stepping up to remind me that i am not alone no matter how far away i wander right before your eyes… it's just that when i come home alone in the wee hours of a non-work night i feel the power, the fever, the locomotion, even, and i simply must let my mind where it will go (and hope you follow, if only just a little)… it keeps my from realize how lonely i might be if i realize how alone i am and also, it amuses me… and two birds in hand is even better than one in the bush, or two bushes in the white house, for that matter…

and so in conclusion, i categorically state that this nation, or any nations so founded on the principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (no matter what the holy dollar night have to say about it) shall long endure as long as it remember the simple lessons of history and understands the word freedom means being free to choose any way that does not harm or restrict another's way… and that is right and just and the country i live in… for all it's foibles and faux pas and foolish endeavors, it's roots still exist because they were written down and no matter how people with private agendas might interpret them, those with open minds and true compassion for their fellow man will see the truth in the words and not allow anyone living a peaceful and harmless way to be negated, subjugated, or fumigated just because they do not agree with the majority…

yeah, power to the people right on

and don't forget boys and girls, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better be good… well, you can cry it you wanna, just not all the time because they you probably need some professional help and i hope you can make it through life without feeling that helpless or out of control because that is such a sad and futile all too human choice, but be good, ok?...

I'll be right here :)