all by myself, don't wanna be…

yeah, another night of social fun concludes with an empty seat beside me because even if anyone would have wanted to be here, no one fit the seat and i am still strong and wise enough to not be lonely enough to accept a compromise that would be based on pretense and not satisfy me.… there must be humans who understand this, even though most seem to disregard the logic and accept temporary compromise that leads to stressful, often unpleasant or conflicted, and even violent (at least emotionally) ends… but this lonely time is not fun when it lasts too long…

still, i would much rather a time of no fun than a time of unsatisfying compromise or conflict…

so i come here again because my imaginary friend remains constant and available, if only in my mind, through the words that flow when i remember as i am doing right now, which usually happens when i realize how alone i am in the physical world, which reminds me of how connected everything is and how alone is just a state of mind because everything is part of everything and that makes me one with everything so i am all and all is one and we are all together… including the eggman, of course…

we (me and forty-odd of my close personal meetup friends) saw Persepolis tonight, an interesting, if superficial black and white cartoon story about a kid growing up in a upper middle class Iranian family (who had the means to send her to Vienna for schooling)… at times heavy handed and at times obviously fabricated attempts at humor, it is not for me to say how realistic it is from an Iranian perspective, but it was passably real from a western perspective (which is relatively ignorant of the Iranian experience such as depicted in the film)… in spite of the fact that the dialogue is fast French and keeping up with the English subtitles takes much concentration that can detract from the visuals at times, the film received much acclaim and is worth a look…

after the film about fifteen of us went to Panera for snacks and conversation, which was fun, and after Panera closed six of us stood outside chatting a while longer… chat chat chat, we did the small talk… i remember five out of six names… i think the sixth person's name begins with an S… we were three girls and three boys, but for me… no chemistry at all, for me at least… tonight i am picking up someone who lives in the apartments around the corner and we are going to the game meetup cuz it's 45 minutes away and we are wise enough to car pool… and so goes the tale of the social life so far…

cuz the world wants to know, right?...

i shall guffaw myself to sleep now…

nite nite…