cuz i love you

really, that's why... i mean, why i am here again... it is after 2am and i tomorrow is an early and full day at work and then a wine tasting and movie tomorrow night and saturday morning a 40 minute drive to a 7am 5K run and then a dinner group in the evening and then superbowl sunday and then another busier than ever (or at least in many years) week at work and play (just look at the calendar on the right that i just updated... yay for a busy life, even if i enjoy it all by myself just like most everybody else) and fun fun fun cuz that's what love is for and all...

wish you could share some of this...

of course it would all be infinitely more fun and magnificent if there was a partner in fun beside me sharing everything we both do together and aprt cuz that's what love is for all the more, but never forgetting this is the blessing that brings me back to the hopeful euphoria that keeps me enjoying the moment with blissful glee and quietly giggling and never surrendering... hope is the second most powerful force, after all, right behind love...

so no matter what, nothing else matters... whether you hit bottom or are flying high in this life, all you need is faith in yourself and the awareness that hope is the power that rises above all else when love is not shared just as you'd like... and with faith in hope, life is wonderful because you can enjoy the moment knowing you could find your dreams at any moment as you enjoy the journey...

maybe one of these days i'll pick apart the calendar and babble on about each of the activities listed there, or at least scribble a few lines about each... for now, i just wanted you to know i appreciate you and love and the kid is alright... me, good, i mean... and since your comments inspired me to come here and write tonight, i shall share the comment you inspired that brought me here (with, you guessed it, peanut gallery commentary) and then (cuz it's never enough, as Patty Smyth said), i shall slip in a couple or few typically me meetup messages i sent today... cuz meetup is the primary reaon for a much more active social life these days, after all... anyway, remember this?

we won we won WE WON! :)

yes, and I pitched and struck out at least six (shoulda counted) and only walked one in the last inning and we won, YAY us!...

it was a seriously cool feeling to remember how to pitch softball and while i've got a way to go before i get back to where i once was, if i could, i felt comfortable out there most of the time and the team rallied for the first time to score thirteen runs... we scored eight runs in the first three games and gave up fifty five... big change... tonight it was 5-5 in the third inning when we busted out for seven runs... we picked up one more in the fifth and i lost focus in the sixth and gave up three runs... there were a few dropped fly balls and a couple of wild throws that gave them runs (the statistician in me is feeling the itch to keep stats now), but all in all it was our best defensive game all around... it was the first game i actually played warmed up... the first game i was handed the ball with the other team in the batter's box and told pitch... it took me most of the inning to warm up and i walked a few and the team was very sloppy, so i only pitched the first inning... i didn't play the second or third games... so our record is 1-3 and we are genuinely surprised we won a game, but i'm hoping to get to play more and see the team come together and play better with each game... and that's the sports report, sorta...

then, you asked about the quality of the busy life and since there are thousands of millions asking the same question silently as they check in on me because i am just that irresitible, after all, I share my answer, cuz i love you, after all...

quality good, with spurts of excellent, though still hoping for the exceptionally amazing and wondrously fantastic and unbelievably orgasmic, but the spurts of excellent are wonderful and the pretty consistent good is great :)

yeah, kinda like a weather report with different words about different things in a different way, but still, kinda like a weather report of the climatology in my psyche, i suppose, maybe, buy it?...

ah, but truly life is good and much fun and there are even interesting conversations and up and coming is a busier than January February in which the mix of different activities increases in diversity and intensity as 5K runs are addd to the mix as well as several new meetup groups... the adrenaline rush of hope is keeping me awake tonight and the four year old is alive and well and having so much fun that we'd have to return to the early nineties to find a time when so much satisfaction has been acheived in this life without a romantic element fueling and exponentially increasing the magic of the mix... it's a wonderful life and the amazingly wonderfulest part is that it still cane be powerfully more wonderful... yay for life...

and then, you pondered my wellness, or something like that... and to queel the rising fears about my being and to clear up the ridiculously pandering rumours making their way through the mass media, i present a bit of response to the welness query... thanks for asking so very much for asking...

all is well, tired and brain fuzzy at times from work overload, but going out much (see the calendar on the right, i think it's pretty up to date) and enjoying the fun much more than feeling the onelies or missing stuff, which is a good place to be in my head :)

which then lead to a spontaneous exclamation of YAYNESS from said head that, naturally, lead to a bit of babble that may seem random, but was actually influenced by other stuff as reflected in entries that have popped up in many of my other blogs as the most clever of you have already noticed by your own deviously brilliant means, like climbing through the branches of the tree of madness, for instance, or even more genius-like adventures that could only be devised and enjoyed by you quintissential aboriginal blog watchers...

yeah, videos, blurbs, bleeps, and blogs bloating out and flowing out and popping out and dropping in with fine tuning to the most enlightened and fascinating and valuable information and amusements out there in the world... just for you... and then i said:

YAY BIG BIG YAYS for you being here and caring and wondering and asking and caring and being here...

alas for global warming, the sun will move into the age of aquarius in the 22nd century which will bring great waters, cuz aquarius is a water bearer, after all, though we humans might move the cosmic schedule up with all our ozone-depleting carbon-dioxide producing ways...

see the movie Zeitgeist for more (you can find it at my video blog or elsewhere in the webiverse... just cuz it's so much fun to know stuff and all)...

suddenly, i sense this will become an entry, just for you my little honeysuckle roses... just cuz i am so happy giddy awake at this late hour and feeling so much love for you for loving me for loving you for loving me for loving all and everything too...

inspirations, you are awesome again...

maybe i'll stay up all night for a change :)

yeah, no, really... check out that video... it's about two hours, so leave yourself time to see it through... you will not be hypnotized into joining a suicide cult or in any way be damaged by the video, unless, of course, you resist opening your mind and then, well, you might get a bit upset by your confusion and misunderstanding and judgmental crap, but i don't think any of you wise souls will experience such a narrow beam of ignorance and fear of the possibilities of knowledge of history and insight into the human condition, psyche, and experience... see how much faith i have in you?...

seriously, watch the video... it is a mental orgasm...

and as promised, here are a couple of the meetup messages i send today... the first is to the group that is meeting to do a 5K run very early Saturday morning about an hour away (yeah, i know i said less time before, but it could be an hour too) after meeting up the night before for a wine tasting and movie and fun... i wonder if they think i am kidding about wishing someone would care enough to want me there enough to actually call and wake me... or the sleeping in my car thing, for that matter... what would you think an unsuspecting stranger might think of me and my impromptu and rather odd remarks?...

Holy insanity, beetlejuice, did i say i was coming? and no sleep thursday and a wine and movie friday and then up early saturday? (and more) who's crazy? wanna call and wake me or should i just drive to Wekiva Friday night and sleep in my car? lolam

the (and more) refers to a dinner meetup Saturday night and then a Superbowl party at Jackson's on sunday and then a very busy wee as the calendar keeps telling me... and as if all that is not enough, i joined yet another group, a singles group for people of mid-life crisis age... the group description provided hope that some meaningful thinking ans sharing might happen... we shall see... or maybe i will not see as my introduction and reason for joining (request for approval) went something like this:

Hey, it was either this or eHarmony. The coin came up heads, so here I am. Everyone should be a happy 4 year old. Or 40. Take me seriously as you wish (it can be serious fun). But seriously, this is a great idea and I, for one, hope for fruition.

yeah, i just couldn't resist teasing the ageist set up of the group since it limited itself to a specific age group as if age is a valid definitive classification for creating meaningful social interactions or friends...

when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn...

maybe tomorrow, or whenever they meet, if they'll have me :)

and so i shall now try to get three hours sleep so i don't fall asleep at tomorrow night's movie after maybe a sip or two of wine and still have a bit of reserve energy left for the 5K run the following morning... i think i may nap this weekend between all these social engagements... and pretending it is all about me cuz i am so very popular and in demand is ego's game, but we all can enjoy it too (at least i usually do)... hopefully you have enjoyed yourself here too...

keep the faith in your hope and in yourself to be worthy of your dreams and able to believe that anything is possible so at any moment you could find your dreams come true right before your eyes... and choose what you believe wisely, for what you believe is truth to you...

and have fun, dangit, cuz that's what life is all about...

and love love love...

g'nite :)