Dear Sir or Madam,
We are processing your new post request. It is our wish to bring you the finest in new posts before you reach the point of post post withdrawal that makes a request necessary, but we are screwing up on that wish lately, so bear with us while we go through changes and try to remember what life is about amidst the myriad of distractions occupying mind and body in recent months. The new post team has requested a formal convening of the new post committee to discuss and review the matter of your new post request and we expect them to wake up and convene any time now.
Once convened, the Committee will confer and make their recommendations to the institute for synaptic activity which will most likely petition the board of higher brain functions to step up the seratoninny flow and secret sauce that raises concentration to the babbling point where the braingod is left with the choice between a new post or implosion, followed by explosion, sometimes referred to as a massive intercranial supernova, or what a mess.
Please be assured that your new post request is very important to us and expeditious care will be given every iota of energy provided, inspired, and generated by your generous attention.
We thank you for your attempt to understand the process as briefly summarized above and adore you for the passion in your request.
It won't be long now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very Truly Yours,