sometimes a flood

I know, too many words… i lose more readership that way… so you few who stick around are worth all the more to me after these sudden floods of words… and someday, if someone comes along with the will and desire to edit and present my babbling in more palatable forms, wonderful, but for now, i continue cuz what am i supposed to do, hold back? stifle myself? nay then, i shall not for there is too much bliss in the babbling even if i am the only one who experiences it all…

so indulge in my excesses and if i die alone, do be it… i leave genuine remnants of myself behind, not some partially mixed presentation of someone you or humanity or anyone might want to see… not some edited for popularity façade, but all the blood and guts and bubbles and puss… and maybe a little insight or something worth reading now and then, aye?... i dive headlong into the infinite splendor of imagination and do my best to tap the keys fast enough to put the words that form as i wander through this or that or the other thing as well as i am able… it all makes sense to me in some strange and wonderful way and when the one shows up, she will prove i am not the only one…

in the RealTime™, i've been tweaking the mix for this site (which is also the current mix at the myspace blog, though eventually there will probably be two and more, as this particular mix most belongs over at candora, i think… but then, how to make a mix of just 75 songs to represent any of my wild and wizardy web worlds… la la la… yeah, so discovering Donovan mp3s turned the excitement meter up to ready-to-explode again… hope you enjoy and if you ever have time to listen to the whole set after it is finally considered finalized, i hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think (even critique or in depth song by song and arrangement and suggested changes and all that jazz is very welcome)…

and in previous RealTime™, for those of you who missed it, just in case you wanted to see a bit of the afterglow of the musical excitement that's been weaving it's way through and around me of late, here's a comment one of you (shhhh, it's a secret, unless, of course, curiosity drives you crzy the way it drives me crazy and you just have to know so you search through recent comments to find out) inspired in the past week that exemplifies the happy happy joy joy that is musical memories and reawakening the musical muses within me:

hooray hooray hooray... you found it and listen and see the point and get it and yippie yippee yippee yay!...

thank you for sharing my excitement :)

apathy kills the creative star in any medium...
but that's ok, cuz i'm mostly an extra large...

and i laugh in the face of apathy, ha!

scoff in the face of indifference, ha ha!

sneer at the villain hypocrisy, sssssssss!

love is the answer
and you know that, for sure

so yay you, yay me
and yay everyone
one family

yay you, yay me
we're altogether now
the way it should be

yay you, yay me
leaving nobody out
that's the master key

yay you, yay me
we're all together now
one family
g'nite sweet planets, and all stars in the sky :)

meanwhile, in other news, i have declared my love for largeheartedboy… yes, even though he is married and a boy, i am in love… just look at his blog and his links and if you know me at all, you will understand why the boy has me leapfrogging over myself to find time to explore his web world more… it is good that i found him, because in an unrelated side note, i just discovered that the misanthropic bitch seems to be missing… not that he could replace her (though it is possible that maddox could if he was just more like her), but i'll just have to lose myself in the largeheartedboy and all his links to take my mind off the loss…

and as if the boy wasn't enough, his wife blogs too and what else, healthy living… why don't these people live in Orlando?... they also seem to have a recipe blog… these are the moments when i miss the people i corresponded with way back when… Rikki and Tristan especially… it you're out there, maybe you'll google your name someday and find this message… remember when letters were experiences, Laura?...

meanwhile, around the house, nothing changes and i continue doing the same old thing (there's a wise old saying about that, isn’t there?)… now we're trying to buy Precious's cooperation in keeping the place clean by using the laptop… but instead of picking up her stuff (which is always all over the floor and couches and counters) so i could vacuum for the first time this year, she showered and went out, for a walk, she says… Rasputin sleeps… and the cleaning bug that that had me bouncing around (while they both sat on the couches) cleaning the communal living space and my room and doing laundry has waned… maybe it was the word ass aimed in my general direction… i should not empower her words, i know, but i keep hoping for a little acknowledgement, appreciation, or maybe just respect… so the carpet will not be vacuumed today...… i'll just finish my laundry and my room, feel like an ass for buying the laptop, try to convince myself to start saving money, return to healthier habits, and focus on the new social life i am building in spite of the lazy unhealthy energy in this space…

yup, so tomorrow night i'm going to the movies with a meetup group… and the next night i might head out to another group… it's the wine down night, but i am really not looking for drinking companions, so as convenient as the location may be, i may try another group if i can make it to their location (there's the rub)… the next night is another movie night… not sure about Friday yet, but Saturday i'm going to a party where seventy people will be… i'll find me some social life in spite of the people, dangit!...

well, i laughed, even if there's some pathos under it all… oh come on, "I'll find me some social life in spite of the people…"… a clever line, no?... well, if you like The Simpsons humor (and i do, so there)… and so things are getting done in spite of the obstacles and the babbler is still enjoying the heck out of the time off (and extra time to write) and the music continues to inspire bubbles of happy happy joy joy (i'm just so easy, huh?)… and whether what goes around comes around or not, i'll just keep being me and do my best to help people out of depressions and self-destructive ways cuz it's the best feeling i know and besides, it's my world they're destroying too… and the bottom line is the z0tl is right again (well, you decide for yourself) and it only took seventy two (or a few) entries like the past bunch to get him back, but that's not the point, the point is… time spent focused on negativity is negative time… so the pity party may just be over (for now)… those of you who did not know there was a pity party, feel no shame, you were still invited, but probably didn't need one… just find someone who's turning, ok?

(it was about here i was going to roll into some sort of conclusion and upload this, but found comments that inspired more babbling instead {see link above}, so maybe this is the end, or maybe i'll come back and conclude it another time)

sometimes it's a blog, sometimes a rhyme, sometimes babble, a post or few, and sometimes a flood…

and sometimes we just dance off grinning…