catching up with me, almost

the usual couch potato lifestyle continues at home, replete with massive gas-passing as much as ever, but i am detaching myself more and more and staying home fewer evenings each week… i decided to take a night off from the madcap social life i am developing because are running the past two nights, working out at softball practice last night, and not sitting down at work for the past three days because i was running around like an elf in santa's workshop (quite literally, figuratively, and actually too), the body can use a bit of rest… softball practice resulted in a couple of the most traumatic (for the body) bruises in some years… one came trying to stop a ground ball with my bare hand… instinct overrode good sense… another came on a ground ball that hit my shin just a bit before i could get my glove down to stop it… the good news is that the body and brain processed the pain and blunt trauma and pain (did I mention pain?) very well, surprisingly well, in fact… normal humans would probably have dark black blue and purple hematomas at the impact sites complete with swelling and painful movement and even a limp and hardly none of that happened… a bit of charlie horse and pain to the touch at the sites, but full function and i forgot all about it all day…

must be the alien genes…

anyway, all is well at home… Precious is up north visiting her mom and family and Rasputin is still a farting machine wrapped tightly in the work-TV-sleep cycle… the lease is up at the end of January and we've not renewed and probably ought to be finding a house because comparable apartment prices and Precious's expenditures have reached a point beyond Rasputin's means and i am not looking to support her any more than i already do… the housing market is so down that new homes built as investments are renting lower than apartments… there are drawbacks to moving into a house, the first being no gym or pool, which means travel and expense if i want either… then there's the free cable we get here, more expense if we want to keep cable… and electric and other utilities will probably be higher in a house, so i might wind up having higher bills anyway… and to think i thought i was going to seriously consider relocating and taking a year or so off right about now…

anyway, lately i am hardly home… i shudder to think what the house might look like after a few weeks… and a house in Florida will become bug infested a lot faster than a second floor apartment… and then there's house and yard maintenance… on the other hand, i just may start inviting meetup groups over for game nights and parties and maybe that'll motivate some cleaner habits… i suppose the easiest alternative would be to just find a cleaner and more active roommate or even kick up the expense to living in a one bedroom alone, but on the other hand, there are benefits to living with family, even if it's imaginary and adopted…

i think it's been way too long since i've been in love, even in fantasy, and that skews my whole perspective on everything, especially on life and humanity… i mean, after all, here i am mocking myself and humanity by half-heartedly going through the motions of attempting to learn how to be human as if anybody really takes such an endeavor and the underlying inference upon which the whole premise is based seriously, or even believing anyone actually gets all the innuendos and references, or even pays attention to all these run-on sentences, for that matter… maybe it's just my way of passing gas…

maybe, ha…

as the year winds down to a close, the usual reevaluation and reassessment and adjustments to perspective bring me to realize once again that i am taking less and less seriously with each passing year… but just look at our culture… some of the wisest thoughts come from the creators of cartoons, but mainstream culture quietly ignores even the most shocking shock-value wake-up calls, analogies, and so on… all you need to do is see the xmas poo on South Park doing the take off on The Lion King and The Circle of Life to know that good sense and intelligence exists, but is ignored or denied by most humans, even flushed down the toilet, so to speak…

depressing, really, and yet with each passing year i find myself laughing more and more at the absurdity and futility of the mockery of intelligent life actualized by humanity at this point in time… and throughout history, for that matter… but what can be expected of a species that takes the fake lives and dialogue on television seriously and pays little or no attention, except maybe to laugh at, the real life-death struggles, atrocities, imbalances, abuses, and neglected in this world… from the personal suicide of smoking, drinking, drug-consumption, fighting and killing ourselves and each other to the global abuses, neglect, waste, and suicide by short-sighted over-consumption, humans are heading toward self-annihilation… humans are so advanced, we probably won't wait for nature to correct itself, we'll probably make the correction itself… the correction, like the extinction of a species that imbalances the natural eco-system bit too much, ya know?...

but you thrive on this, don't you?... who me?.... am I talking to myself again?... who am i asking?... ah, remember when the music came from wooden boxes strung with silver wire?... whatever that has to do with the price of crude oil in Saudi Arabia or the profound question of our times, who is/are stupider, the president or the people who elected him… or the people who let him steal the election, for that matter…

what's that, Meg & Dia?...

yes, well, some of us know what is important, after all… and even if xmas is actually just one more hypocritical flip-flop by power-hungry leaders who re-write history in order to maintain power, it's got some good-feelings going on… especially if you can see through the commercialism and get some of the caring behind the gift giving and peace on Earth stuff… so for the last week, ten hours a day, i've been wrapping and sorting presents non-stop at work… close to two thousand presents for the hundred or so kids all wrapped and sorted into 13 gallon bags now sit awaiting xmas morning… i am not going in to distribute them under trees this year as i did last year because i want time off work and other people can have that fun while i enjoy restful personal time and the odd party and fun…