a day in the night in the life

this is totally off topic for this RealTime blog, but I may be missing the babbling of btc more than I realize and so I'm bringing it here... actually, there are hundreds of pages of babbling just waiting to be read and turned into btc entries, but unless I give up sleep (as I did last night, which is why there was an entry of more than twenty words here), there's just no time for extended babbling, no less reading and putting together the kind of entries that find their way behind the candoor...

besides, this is the only place where I get consistent feedback and appreciation (and the occasional phone call or text message to make it even more real-feeling these days, though there's a good feeling from some new people over at myspace too and if I had time I'd spend more time communicating over there... all these internet communicating experiments... memories of LEX return... and there's a whole other tangent for another time)...

I'm in love again... now don't get all excited because I am not investing much energy into it cuz these days I don't have time of much enthusiasm for falling into my fantasy love songs like I used to do (and will most likely do again), I mean, after all, just look at how unproductive I've been with the whole Bandit fantasy (and even the Dia fantasy was subdued, after all, and that was the last one I actually went to the words with if you know what I mean), but I am quite impulsively and probably irrationally, based on merely seeing one of her blogs, declaring relatively undying love for this girl... you may have already seen her influence in the concept for the story in the comments for the last entry... Bandit's public anti-emo influences might have something to do with it too... actually, I meant the girl in the YouTube videos, but reading Bean (the blogger who put the YouTubes in her blog) gives me the feeling that she is adorable too... maybe I'll fall in love with her another time... when I have more time and enthusiasm for the whole love affair thing and emotional experience...

and wouldn't you know, I went to check out LEX and found myself joining up again and sending in some listings (it's all cuz I munched on some Smart Start cereal, a carb-treat for me, and went carb-crazy, you see) and looked at an article someone wrote and joined gather.com just to leave a comment and that adds to joining bebo.com and flukiest.com in recent weeks or some time in the past whenever (along with a dozen other sites I passed for a few moments along the way) and so far, I've done nothing with these new potential internet adventures... there's only so much sleep I can give up, after all...

so another day of the usual at work, except that we went out for lunch for Jackson's birthday (spinach salad for me) and Precious called because she couldn't reach her dad or get anyone to take her for her prom dress, so I left work early to do that and then picked up dinner for her (Chipotle, and I indulged myself and picked on up for Rasputic too) dropped her back at school and went to the bank and the post office (which, moved last week on my birthday, by the way) and found junk and bills and credit card applications and a couple of birthday cards from dear Annie from the olden days at DLand) and so even though I left work an hour and a half early, I got home the time I usually do.. dang traffic...

and I ate, napped, and woke really tired but dragged myself for another workout at the gym tonight... Precious was home when I got home and wired about the opening night of the school production of Aida (and life, musically, has revolved around that show for more than a month now and the melodies and lyrics are ingraining themselves in my brain and becoming part of the soundtrack of life on their own merit too, dang sentimental romanticism and tragic love life) and suddenly not tired and we talked and she explained her plans and needs for the weekend and lamented over not being able to talk to her dad all week and I gave her money for tickets to the shows for me and Raspy (we're going to at least three shows) and feeling ridiculously generous, I gave her an extra $80 so she can buy the gifts she wants to buy for her friends and the techie crew (maybe she'll remember that she forgot my birthday and buy me something too?... yeah right, but before I break into Kids from Bye Bye Birdie I'll just continue summing up the night) and enjoy her weekend more...

and then I woke Raspy for work and communicated the rest of Precious's concerns (one of which is picking up her Godparents and their kids who are at Disney this weekend but have no rental car to drive up here and didn't make it to the show tonight cuz they got sick and wouldn't keep the rental car for an extra day tomorrow or something like that and I'm hoping that they weren't just blowing Precious off) and we made some plans for this weekend to address her needs and he left money for his tickets (and his mom's tickets, as she's coming up here for two shows) and this will be a busy weekend...

and now, buzzing from the cereal, I'm watching Taken and shall slide into the big green chair and hopefully nod off for a few hours before heading back to work and then to the show tomorrow night... all this caring and generosity and emo musical theatre and activity certainly fuels the loneliness for the intimate sharing of all the emotions and the hunger for hugging and cuddling and more grows and waa waa as usual and yay cuz it continues to prove I am alive, agonizingly alive, so it's been a day much like every other day in the life and a night like most every other night in the life as I've known it...

oh, and the GI doctor's receptionist called today to tell me that the GI doctor got my lab results back and based on the urinalysis that I insisted he order for me, he wants me to see a Urologist and she didn't say anything else about the blood tests he ordered to check out my liver and since she wasn't the doctor and I was at work and trying to get a little work done, I didn't engage in questioning her... oh well, I was hoping because he was a DO instead of an MD, he might actually care and treat the whole patient like the DO manual says, but modern medicine just churns impersonally as every other big business does in our great society... capitalism, where the best and worst of humanity destroy each other...

and that's life for now, in RealTime, for you, me, posterity, and anyone else who cares... you might notice that somewhere along the way I gave up correcting typos again... lent, or something like that... fun, aye?...

hope you are finding yourself alive (if not fulfilled) tonight :)